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For the love of Pete, I cannot believe this thread is still ongoing. Please allow me to summarize :
If you are uncomfortable letting your 8 year old go to your park unsupervised, don't do it. It doesn't necessarily make you paranoid.
If you are comfortable letting your 8 year old go to your park unsupervised, then do it. It doesn't necessarily make you permissive or negligent.
As an observation, some of the people making loudest noises about being judged as paranoid are making some pretty big judgments about others taking untoward risks with their children. IMO, if you want people to respond in a civil manner, it helps to actually use one yourself.
Dude, it's part of having a discussion. If we're discussing that it could be overprotective, then explain why you aren't. Otherwise you leave yourself open to assumptions.
Shouldn't have to. And no rationalization can justify such an assumption.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
I disagree that having a presence in a public place (even while not interfering) vs leaving them alone where they know they have to deal with situations without you are equivalent scenarios.
At some point your child is going to have to deal with being in public without you. We're trying to ascertain, in order to have a discussion, what that point would be for you, but you've never actually answered. In light of this conversation, it's a fair question.
I have answered. Many times and in many ways. I've brought up several different factors that should be considered in determining whether or not to leave your child in public without an adult. It's not all about the child's perceived readiness, so asking "At what age..." (which is how the question is usually worded) or "at what point" is asking me to disregard other factors.
8 may be ok! I never said that it wasn't. I did say, however, that I see no need, because an 8-year old should also be perfectly capable of enjoying their play in the park whether an adult's supervising from a distance or not. All the proposed benefits coming from alone time in the park can be obtained in other ways.
Either way, I take no issue with someone dropping their kid off at the park by themselves at 8 years old. I do take issue with the idea that it is in any way superior to taking an 8 year old to the park and staying with them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
What does that even mean? Toddlers are not equipped to be outdoors without an adult.
Yeah, I could've worded that differently. Basically, it means that my kid has developed a fondness for the outdoors despite my being there. Towards this particular goal, my presence hasn't in any way hindered it. As for other goals, I already addressed them.
Quote:
Originally Posted by eastwesteastagain
For the love of Pete, I cannot believe this thread is still ongoing. Please allow me to summarize :
If you are uncomfortable letting your 8 year old go to your park unsupervised, don't do it. It doesn't necessarily make you paranoid.
If you are comfortable letting your 8 year old go to your park unsupervised, then do it. It doesn't necessarily make you permissive or negligent.
Update - she had a great time with her friends and all was well. She wound up going later than the 10am time set up because my husband did worry about it being a prescribed time that sketchy adults may have clued into. So she went at 12 and came back around an hour later with the other neighborhood kids, there were apparently several other kids there that they knew.
Update - she had a great time with her friends and all was well. She wound up going later than the 10am time set up because my husband did worry about it being a prescribed time that sketchy adults may have clued into. So she went at 12 and came back around an hour later with the other neighborhood kids, there were apparently several other kids there that they knew.
Glad to hear she had fun! Good idea about the alternate time. Thanks for the update!
Update - she had a great time with her friends and all was well. She wound up going later than the 10am time set up because my husband did worry about it being a prescribed time that sketchy adults may have clued into. So she went at 12 and came back around an hour later with the other neighborhood kids, there were apparently several other kids there that they knew.
Thank you for a lovely update! 29 pages later and I think people were waiting with baited breath to see if something would 'happen'
I grew up in the one of the worst ghettos in Brooklyn in the height of 1980's crack explosion. Age 5 I was walking to school on my own (given the school was on the corner and my apt was two houses down). Age 8 I was allowed to go down the block to the bodega and around the corner to the bakery to get a loaf of bread. Age 10 we moved to a better area and I had to walk 10 blocks to my public school.
During the summer my grandmother who lived in the projects where drunks urinate in the hallways and sell drugs under the passageway between the buildings I was allowed outside with my cousin at the age of 10 to play while she watched from a window unless her Spanish soap opera was on then we had an hour to ourselves where we would try to test out limit of how far out of sight and hearing we could go.(Sorry for the CD's longest run on sentence) That woman had hearing of a bat. But if we really wanted to go to the pizzeria which was four blocks away or to the corner store we had to ask permission.
By the time I was 13 we moved out of Brooklyn and into the suburbs where I would ride my bike with the neighborhood kids and go at least 5 miles out of the area. This was before cellphones and beepers folks. Nothing ever happened. Nothing at all......
We survived, we weren't kidnapped, raped, murdered or left in a ditch. My mother and grandmother would always tell us stories and I think they left an impression on us that if we go out and play and we are approached by a stranger then we should keep walking or go to the cops. We were raised with street smarts and as a parent now I will admit I am more apprehensive than my mom or grandmother (maybe they were just as apprehensive but did not show it) but I will be raising my sons to be independent and go to the park on their own.
I think if you go the route of allowing them to explore they need to be street smart, know about stranger danger and whatever else that may come along. Another thing even though I grew up in Brooklyn, people on the block knew my parents and in the projects my grandmother. We almost felt as though we were always watched by someone and most likely not.
Edit to add:
The first time I was ever approached by a stranger I was 20 and I was taking my grandmother for chemotherapy. A man approached me while we were walking and said a pretty vulgar thing in Spanish. My grandmother beat the living crap out of him with a Bible.
Last edited by CD's Only Mrs. X; 05-19-2012 at 03:38 PM..
Reason: I am trying to type way to fast to fix it because baby is going crazy
MrsX - I lived for 5 years in Brooklyn in a "transitional" neighborhood. But I volunteered tutoring kids in Bed Stuy (a rough neighborhood for those who don't know), nothing ever happened to me either and I met lots of cool tough ladies like your Grandma
MrsX - I lived for 5 years in Brooklyn in a "transitional" neighborhood. But I volunteered tutoring kids in Bed Stuy (a rough neighborhood for those who don't know), nothing ever happened to me either and I met lots of cool tough ladies like your Grandma
I lived in Bushwick/Bed Stuy border. Not much of a border though!
Thank you for the compliment on my Grandma. I miss her to bits.
Reminds me of the time when I was about 13 1/2 and walked 9.5miles to go see my boyfriend at the next city over video game store and watch him play Street Fighter video games for hours. My friend and I had a great time on those long walks for almost three years...lol
Quote:
Originally Posted by TheOriginalMrsX
Thank you for a lovely update! 29 pages later and I think people were waiting with baited breath to see if something would 'happen'
I grew up in the one of the worst ghettos in Brooklyn in the height of 1980's crack explosion. Age 5 I was walking to school on my own (given the school was on the corner and my apt was two houses down). Age 8 I was allowed to go down the block to the bodega and around the corner to the bakery to get a loaf of bread. Age 10 we moved to a better area and I had to walk 10 blocks to my public school.
During the summer my grandmother who lived in the projects where drunks urinate in the hallways and sell drugs under the passageway between the buildings I was allowed outside with my cousin at the age of 10 to play while she watched from a window unless her Spanish soap opera was on then we had an hour to ourselves where we would try to test out limit of how far out of sight and hearing we could go.(Sorry for the CD's longest run on sentence) That woman had hearing of a bat. But if we really wanted to go to the pizzeria which was four blocks away or to the corner store we had to ask permission.
By the time I was 13 we moved out of Brooklyn and into the suburbs where I would ride my bike with the neighborhood kids and go at least 5 miles out of the area. This was before cellphones and beepers folks. Nothing ever happened. Nothing at all......
We survived, we weren't kidnapped, raped, murdered or left in a ditch. My mother and grandmother would always tell us stories and I think they left an impression on us that if we go out and play and we are approached by a stranger then we should keep walking or go to the cops. We were raised with street smarts and as a parent now I will admit I am more apprehensive than my mom or grandmother (maybe they were just as apprehensive but did not show it) but I will be raising my sons to be independent and go to the park on their own.
I think if you go the route of allowing them to explore they need to be street smart, know about stranger danger and whatever else that may come along. Another thing even though I grew up in Brooklyn, people on the block knew my parents and in the projects my grandmother. We almost felt as though we were always watched by someone and most likely not.
Edit to add:
The first time I was ever approached by a stranger I was 20 and I was taking my grandmother for chemotherapy. A man approached me while we were walking and said a pretty vulgar thing in Spanish. My grandmother beat the living crap out of him with a Bible.
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