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Sure it is. Kids will react and respond to situations differently without a parent present to watch them. Kids also may take greater or lesser risks without their parent watching them. Wait until your little one is in daycare or preschool and go sneak in one day to observe without him knowing you are there. You will see how much more confident,or less confident, he is in is actions- how he reacts and responds to people differently. It works because their little brains know they don't have their parent their to hold them back or bail them out so they must think of their own way to solve a problem, decide how high they want to swing before jumping off, how to react to the kid who hurt their feelings- They may not feel so bold or brazen without a parent there, or maybe quite the opposite.
Truer words were never spoken (or typed in this case!)
Quote:
Originally Posted by Vic 2.0
What if they know their parent isn't going to hold them back or bail them out even if they are there?
Some parents are tough (even to the point of being unresponsive or just plain mean) though watchful. This is how I was raised (minus the "mean" part). Like I said, kids in my family generally got in trouble for tattling. And I must've been raised from an early age to figure things out for myself and not run to my mom or anyone else for help unless there was something I literally could not do.
If you really think about it, there's a whole other side of this debate going untouched, and that's self-discipline. A kid who doesn't run to mommy or daddy because mommy and daddy aren't there isn't necessarily self-disciplined. A kid who refrains from running to mommy and daddy even when they are there is showing quite a lot of it!
Oh well. I guess we'll all just have to live and parent according to our values and the way we interpret everything discussed on this thread. My understanding is different from yours. No better, no worse. Let's have one more round of "Well it didn't hurt me any!"s and call it done for tonight.
Mine: When I was a kid, I was always being watched by some adult when I went to the park. They didn't interfere. They might as well not have been there, except that they knew I was at even less risk (than the already small risk) of being kidnapped or jumped. This "overprotective", "paranoid" sort of "living in fear" somehow produced a grown man who's independent, social, disciplined, and responsible.
Go. Figure.
No offense, but in the bigger picture of parenting, you are still in little league, while some of us are in the Majors; you should probably listen to more experienced parents before you go and cry foul at our techniques.
I have teenagers (3 and a step), and I was cute and idealistic with my first too; that goes away between 1st grade and your 2nd child, then reality sets in, and so does practicality. Good luck.
No offense, but in the bigger picture of parenting, you are still in little league, while some of us are in the Majors; you should probably listen to more experienced parents before you go and cry foul at our techniques.
Good idea. I'll listen to my mom, who's raised 4 boys this way and watched them become full-grown independent men
Excellent. And don't forget the part about not crying foul over other posters' techniques.
This would be better directed at those who have actually done it, posters on both sides of the debate. I'm actually one of the few who are saying "It doesn't really matter whether a parent does this or not" while most of you are insisting one way is necessarily better than the other.
I do not know where your stats are coming from but this is false!
If anything crimes against children has gotten worse. As technology rises so does crime period.
Before it was more difficult to catch a pedophile or a child killer. Now? We have megan’s law and sex offenders reporting sites. I do not know about you but I have looked up where I reside on the better side of town and there are still a high number of pedo’s in the area and these are the ones that reported as were mandated too upon their release.
There are internet predators/pedos, have you ever seen dateline?
Allowing child predators easier access to our young impressionable highly naïve children!
Please post a link to support your claim. There were some great links early in this thread suggesting crime involving children had decreased, but here are some more:
There have been some fascinating and encouraging developments in child victimization that have not received much publicity and run counter to popular perception.
This would be better directed at those who have actually done it, posters on both sides of the debate. I'm actually one of the few who are saying "It doesn't really matter whether a parent does this or not" while most of you are insisting one way is necessarily better than the other.
No, what we are doing is trying to point out to you that having a parent present is not the same thing as being without a parent. You insist that there's no difference.
Regardless whether the child is 8 or 12 or 15, kids act differently when their parents are around (nearby, lurking behind a tree, whatever).
No, what we are doing is trying to point out to you that having a parent present is not the same thing as being without a parent. You insist that there's no difference.
And because of this assumption, you're arguing that parents who never leave their kids at the park unsupervised are necessarily doing less for their sense of independence, etc. than those who do. Hence, arguing one way is better than the other. And I say "Nonsense".
There isn't necessarily a difference, whether you mean from the child's perspective or how the child might end up. I know this because I've lived it. You can persuade people who don't know any better, but not me, sorry.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FinsterRufus
Regardless whether the child is 8 or 12 or 15, kids act differently when their parents are around (nearby, lurking behind a tree, whatever).
Not all. Depends on the child, how they were brought up, what their parents being around means to them. Some parents can't help but get involved when they're kids are trying to play; others have no inclination to get involved whatsoever.
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