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I know,stupid title.
What made me start the thread was reading something in Ann Lander's book.
Someone had wrote their child wanted to become a model or actress,but that she wasnt particularly attractive.
Ann told the parent to help develop the child's other talents instead,and encourage those versus the ones having to do with beauty.
Do you agree with that advice? Part of me wants to,because I was an unattractive child,and I wished my Mom had been more direct in telling me instead of hearing it from others. I would have been "hardened" already.
I'm not talking about being brash,but she could have told me in a loving way.
Part of me doesn't agree with that because that's dashing a child's dream,which I hate doing
Given that there is no such thing as an unattractive child, this question cannot be answered.
All kids are considered attractive by some and unattractive by some. They grow into adults who are considered attractive by some and unattractive by some. Anyone who has followed my posts would know that I have what most people would call "unusual" tastes in women... but hey, they're my tastes and they don't step on anyone else's toes, so what's the difference? As long as it's a woman I'm attracted to, that's all that matters. My wife was a really cute baby. Big eyes, facial shape that made chubby cheeks look good, etc. She grew up into an adult who most guys wrote off merely because of her height and weight... but as a child, she had her time when she was considered normal size. Therefore, appearance as a child doesn't necessarily foreshadow adult appearance.
As for being a model or an actress, there are models and actresses out there of all appearances, shapes and sizes. Anyone can do it if he/she really wants to.
The goal should be to foster that inner glow that beams forth from a happy spirit. If you ever meet someone like that you will be attracted to the spirit regardless of actual physical appearance.
I know some are trying to be PC,but the reality is that some children are unattractive.
It really isn't apparent until age 10 or 11 that a child may be unaatractive.
Some adults may unconsciously praise the attractive one without saying much to unattractive kid.
What about studies that show teachers praise and give beautiful children better grades than unattractive children?
We may not realize it,but adults do it all the time. Children see it.
Children know more than we think they know.
I know some are trying to be PC,but the reality is that some children are unattractive.
Prove it. Find me one baby whom each and every adult would deem unattractive. (Note: I'm an old Jersey guy myself. I debate like a Jersey guy would. I'm hard to whip, for sure, because I do my research before I go out swinging.)
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
It really isn't apparent until age 10 or 11 that a child may be unaatractive.
Some adults may unconsciously praise the attractive one without saying much to unattractive kid.
That's the adult's problem, and it's because adults generally allow themselves to be brainwashed by society into believing that a certain appearance category is attractive while every other appearance category is not. Why is it that in America, women are seen as most attractive when they're thin but in Samoa, women are seen as most attractive when they're fat? If there was an absolute standard for beauty, such would not be the case... but yet it is... disproving the assertion that there is an absolute standard for beauty.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
What about studies that show teachers praise and give beautiful children better grades than unattractive children?
See above. I never did this when I was a teacher.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jerseygal4u
We may not realize it,but adults do it all the time. Children see it.
Children know more than we think they know.
I agree with you here. But the problem is adults who use society's definition of beauty to determine who and what is beautiful, rather than God's definition. In God's eyes, EVERYONE is beautiful. I love telling people that... because they can never refute it.
The goal should be to foster that inner glow that beams forth from a happy spirit. If you ever meet someone like that you will be attracted to the spirit regardless of actual physical appearance.
It's certainly worked for me. My inner glow has beamed forth since my parents started fosterng my happy spirit.
I hate this topic, everybody has something that is appealing about their looks, whether that be their hair, teeth, skin, great body, but then comes the important stuff like personality, smarts, fun to be with, sense of humor, kindness and honesty. People that judge others on looks alone are pathetic. I feel badly for the children of parents that would view their own child as homely. (that's what we used to call it).
Fat is another matter, fat is a result of choices or of bad parenting. People are not born fat, but fat children are often created by fat parents. Or the fat child is comforting themselves with food. I feel compassion for them, because kids ridicule them. That's not helpful, but kids are mean.
Sometimes I would befriend the fat person at school, because I was new and needed a friend, and they were always nice to me. Everybody has problems. I wasn't ugly but I wasn't the pretty one either. The prettiest had their own burdens to bear. They get hit on all the time, and attract unwanted attention. Just because you can get the cutest guy in the room, doesn't mean you get the best guy or the good guy or the fun guy. Looks don't last, what they look like is not who they are. Look inside.
I think Iwould encourage my child with the natural talents he or she has. Do children tease this child at school? I also think I would find ways to to help build my child's self esteem with their looks. That could be a different haircut, new more stylish eyeglasses, new clothes that other children their age wears, and always tell the child how much you love them and that they are beautiful inside and out.
Why would any caring parent want their child to model? It is not a healthy atmosphere in the slightest. I know, my child was a model as a toddler. She went to exactly two casting calls and one actual photo shoot before I realized that this was never happening again.
I think we've all seen the homely child that becomes a very attractive adult. It depends on what is "ugly" and you can see that in some actors and actresses who were plain as children but later became physically beautiful.
It's certainly worked for me. My inner glow has beamed forth since my parents started fosterng my happy spirit.
Discovering Jim Beam has helped, as well.
True,your inner glow beams forth;however, will Ms. Suzzie the English teacher see that?
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