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I'm going to go against the popular opinion here and say I agree with Ohio. I wouldnt want my kid running around in filth and hanging out with god knows who.
No one does, but he's the dad. Something that should have been thought of before reproducing with him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic
Thanks everyone for your responses.
I REALLY dont want to put him on child support. If he wants to help support her finacially I will more than welcome accept money from him to support our daughter but I dont want to MAKE him pay anything. If I put him on child support who is to say he doesnt get resentful and try to get his life together and then get custody? Unlikely but I couldnt fathom the idea of not seeing my daughters face every night and every morning. She is the reason I am alive the reason I breathe and I will not take any chances at losing her.
As to a previous posters question about government assitance she was getting Molina but they cut that off because I wouldnt put him on child support. So now shes covered under my insurance. She does get title XX (reduced daycare) but that doesnt have anything to do with the child support.
Im going to tell him that I would take the "inspection" off the table but I demand to meet his girlfreind and anyone who is going to be around her for prolonged periods of time. If this relationship with the gf lasts she is going to be helping raise our daughter and I want to make sure she understands what I find acceptable and not. (punishment foods tv) that sort of thing.
I understand that it is as much his daughter as she is mine but until he provides 50% of her support (which I will not force) then he doesnt have 50% say.
When I said that I was making him be a dad its just that. When he sees Trinitee its because I call and say "hey im right here wanna see the baby real quick?" He has called and asked to see her maybe 3 times since february.
Im not trying to hurt my daughter. I want her to have a dad. I want her to have a dad who takes her out on "dates" and shows her how a man should treat a woman so she never accepts anything less. I dont want her to feel that need to get a mans approval. I dont want her to wonder why she wasnt good enough to have a dad. I grew up without a dad and I think thats a big reason I allowed myself to be treated the way he treated me for so long. All it took was finding out I was pregnant for me to grow up. I wish I would have picked a better father for her but I didnt so lets move past that.
Im trying to do whats right for HER. At the end of the day I love my daughter more than the air I breathe and I just want her to be happy and successful at life.
Stop calling him. He is never going to be the dad you want him to be.
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic
He was. He would hit me and the day he hit me in front of my daughter is the last day we were in a relationship together.
As for the reason I breathe part, after her dad and I broke up I went through a great depression and I honestly believe if it wasnt for her I would have killed myself. I felt worthless. I am currently seeing a therapist though and everything is under control. But what I meant by that was she gives me strength to pick up and get things done. I dont have a choice its not about me anymore. Its about her. Days when I dont want to get up and go to work I do because if I dont how will I give her the life she deserves. I went back to college, for her. I want to be a good role model. She is the reason behind everything I do. Every decision I make I take her into account first.
Keep doing what you're doing. Go to work, go to school, and don't even consider going out with anyone who isn't dad material.
I agree with somebodynew's advice to let Dad fade away. If he calls and asks to see your daughter then I'd let him but I'd keep doing it the way you have been doing it, with you present. I would stop calling him and asking him if he wants to see her and I would not file for child support because it seems like it could open the door to him demanding more access to her. My bet is that he will fade out of your lives for the most part. Sad for your daughter but based on what I've learned about his character from your posts, maybe not such a bad thing. Sorry you have to deal with this. You sound like a good mom.
His character? Is there a backstory I'm not aware of?
His character? Is there a backstory I'm not aware of?
Things I know about this guy based on CD posts. He doesn't pay child support to this child or the child he has with a past girlfriend. He was physically abusive to the op and he even hit her in front of his child. He rarely asks to see his child and when he does it's only for 15 minutes at a time. He is a grown man who is living in filth with his mother. He has an income but gets paid "under the table" (tax evasion). Mom says that he would smoke pot around the child. he hangs out with unsavory types. That's all I can remember. It doesn't paint a pretty picture of him.
Things I know about this guy based on CD posts. He doesn't pay child support to this child or the child he has with a past girlfriend. He was physically abusive to the op and he even hit her in front of his child. He rarely asks to see his child and when he does it's only for 15 minutes at a time. He is a grown man who is living in filth with his mother. He has an income but gets paid "under the table" (tax evasion). Mom says that he would smoke pot around the child. he hangs out with unsavory types. That's all I can remember. It doesn't paint a pretty picture of him.
Urm Okay. OP nevermind what I said earlier. Just file child support and be done with him, until he can get himself together. He doesn't seem like the type of "man" I'd want around my child. Yes he is her father, so if he makes an effort to see her, work with him but set up ground rules, but if he isn't making an effort i wouldn't even bother based on what was said above.
She didn't mean THAT kind of date in which her little girl learns male/female interaction. She meant a father/daughter outing/visit/whateveryouwanttocallit.
Well yah. But she said show her how a man is supposed to treat a woman. ... That's just weird.
Move away and never contact him again. You are repeating your PAST MISTAKES! Somewhere inside you you want to be back with this so called man and your child is not number one in you life, do not fool yourself. Wake up!
Well yah. But she said show her how a man is supposed to treat a woman. ... That's just weird.
Yes, you're right... I went back and read it. An occasional visit certainly won't teach her anything in that respect.
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