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Personally, I wouldnt file child support, once he starts paying, that entitles him to visitation rights.. Not that it doesnt already but once he is helping pay to raise the daughter, he has more of a leg to stand on.
If i were in your situation, i'd move on from the baby's daddy.
I think Jabba the Hutt should meet Tamalee and have a relationship with Mr.T and miss sundaaee berri-berri at burger king and do a paterniteee test!!.... Jerry! Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
Quote:
Originally Posted by OhioChic
Hey guys ! I havent been on in FOREVER I hope everyone is doing ok.
Quick update: Trinitee is 13 months old today and she finally got 2 bottom teeth a last week. She also started fully walking yesterday ! WHOOP
I have been FANTASTIC Im in a relationship (Jabari) since the end of JUne but I just introduced him to Miss Trinitee Sunday. (she actually took her first steps to him awww )
Anyways to the issue at hand.
Trinitee's dad (T) has been *kind of* stepping up. He moved kind of closer to my house so he has seen her quite a bit over the last few weeks, albeit only for about 15 minutes but hey its better than nothing I guess. The only thing is its always outside. He lives with his mom and the house is DISGUSTING like dod feces everywhere gnats just ewww. And I dont want him in my home.
Well since me and her dad broke up I told him his new girlfriend would NEVER be allowed around my daughter. I know I know very petty and childish. Well Jabari has been telling me that its not fair and I shouldnt hold his daughter over his head for our past relationship.
So after months and months of thinking about it and hearing others opinions I decided...to allow it.
This past Friday I told him that Trinitee would be allowed to be around his girlfriend BUT I had to meet her first and talk to her and see the house where my daughter would be.
He said I was asking for too much.
He said that he didnt get the choice to do all that with Jabari so why should I. I told him when he helps support he can make some decisions. Well that conversation didnt end well.
Im ready to just say forget it if you wanna see her take me to court. Im not having my daughter outside in the cold with her asthma. And Im tired of him seeing her when he feels like it. He refuses to set up a schedule. He refuses to meet at McDonalds or the mall or places like that. Im ready to say forget it.
I REALLY dont want to put him on child support. If he wants to help support her finacially I will more than welcome accept money from him to support our daughter but I dont want to MAKE him pay anything. If I put him on child support who is to say he doesnt get resentful and try to get his life together and then get custody? Unlikely but I couldnt fathom the idea of not seeing my daughters face every night and every morning. She is the reason I am alive the reason I breathe and I will not take any chances at losing her.
As to a previous posters question about government assitance she was getting Molina but they cut that off because I wouldnt put him on child support. So now shes covered under my insurance. She does get title XX (reduced daycare) but that doesnt have anything to do with the child support.
Im going to tell him that I would take the "inspection" off the table but I demand to meet his girlfreind and anyone who is going to be around her for prolonged periods of time. If this relationship with the gf lasts she is going to be helping raise our daughter and I want to make sure she understands what I find acceptable and not. (punishment foods tv) that sort of thing.
I understand that it is as much his daughter as she is mine but until he provides 50% of her support (which I will not force) then he doesnt have 50% say.
When I said that I was making him be a dad its just that. When he sees Trinitee its because I call and say "hey im right here wanna see the baby real quick?" He has called and asked to see her maybe 3 times since february.
Im not trying to hurt my daughter. I want her to have a dad. I want her to have a dad who takes her out on "dates" and shows her how a man should treat a woman so she never accepts anything less. I dont want her to feel that need to get a mans approval. I dont want her to wonder why she wasnt good enough to have a dad. I grew up without a dad and I think thats a big reason I allowed myself to be treated the way he treated me for so long. All it took was finding out I was pregnant for me to grow up. I wish I would have picked a better father for her but I didnt so lets move past that.
Im trying to do whats right for HER. At the end of the day I love my daughter more than the air I breathe and I just want her to be happy and successful at life.
In many states, visitation and child support are separate issues. Child support is for the CHILD, not the mother, it's not yours to deny her. Your daughter is entitled to receive the financial support from both parents.
If he is doing drugs and is abusive, that can influence his visitation. But it doesn't let him off the hook for providing financial support for his own child. You're allowing him to be irresponsible to his daughter.
father daughter dates... the dad taking the daughter out to an expensive restraunt opening the door pulling out the chair....show the daughter that she should always be treated like this and never accept less from a man. Obviosuly I didnt mean a DATE. Smh
A girls first love should always be her dad.
Dont twist my words to make it into something disgusting when we all know thats not what I meant.
This is the reason some people shouldnt breed....poor little children...growing up in that kind of environment. Arguing with "father"/ "mother"...dirly houses...girlfriends/boyfriends...no stability...sounds horrible.
This is the reason some people shouldnt breed....poor little children...growing up in that kind of environment. Arguing with "father"/ "mother"...dirly houses...girlfriends/boyfriends...no stability...sounds horrible.
Thank God you dont make "breeding" laws
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