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Yes, I was out riding my bike one sunny summer evening as a teen and a man asked me directions to somewhere. I started giving them to him and he said "why don't you get in the car with me and show me"? Now my mom had never discussed that type of thing w/me (it was the mid-60s), but that just didn't sound right so I rode off.
Good grief, folks (not you, EvilCookie), wasn't it just a month or two ago we were all talking about the mom leaving her 9 year old in a park all day? Many people were defending her choice! Many people on this forum also defend letting kids that young take public transportation, where the possibility of an encounter with a whack is much higher than when one is sitting in a car alone. Mind you, I did let mine take public transportation at age 11, not knocking the idea, just saying.
You are right, absolutely. Because risk doesn't exist in a vacuum, we all take risks, for ourselves and our children, and weight them against the perceived benefit.
Where we tend to clash is when we perceive there to be risk for no reward.
Ehm, well there's when that thing called common sense should kick in...Obviously if you see it's going to take a while, you don't stay...I've had times when I ran into the shop where it was only supposed to take a minute, saw that there's a line or its taking a while, and went back out to the car; sometimes I'd wait in the car with him and come back in when I see that people have left. I'm talking about the storefronts with glass doors where you can park right up to them and see the car. Or I'd go in to place a take-out order, come back out and sit in the car until it's ready, then go back in to pick it up. I'd keep an eye on the car the entire time, again not so much because I was afraid of something happening, it's an extremely safe area, but more watching out for busybodies ready to call the cops. If I saw anyone as much as glance at the car I'd be out in a milisecond.
Now that I've agreed with you on the one hand, I'm going to offer a word of caution with the other. You can go inside when there's no line, buy something, and then there's some problem. "Computer malfuntion" is common in stores, also "price check". Take care.
You are right, absolutely. Because risk doesn't exist in a vacuum, we all take risks, for ourselves and our children, and weight them against the perceived benefit.
Where we tend to clash is when we perceive there to be risk for no reward.
I don't think the risk of leaving your kids in the car for a minute is even remotely high. The reward is, if they are asleep, you can let them continue to sleep uninterrupted and you can also save time. Are you really telling me that you wouldn't leave a child in the car for a minute to return a grocery cart to the cart return, or get money out from the ATM or return a library book to the book return, all within sight of your kid? What do you think could happen in those instances? How high do you think the odds are of something bad happening in these types of instances?
When I was little parents frequently left kids in the car (not under five, but not much older) while they went into the grocery store for a full shopping trip. I sat in the car alone many times. I know many other kids who did the same. How did we go from that to, "not even a minute" all in a few decades?
Last edited by MissTerri; 09-06-2014 at 01:24 PM..
I agree that the risk of leaving a child in the situation described (locked car, child secured, parent always in eyesight) is so low that it shouldn't even register on the risk-o-meter. In some European countries, parents leave babies asleep in strollers outside cafes while they go in for lunch! I am not recommending that anyone do this (!), but clearly many Americans are on the paranoid side. There are very, very few risks to leaving a child alone in a car for one minute--I mean, risks that could actually be averted by having an adult by their side every second. About the only one I can think of is being kidnapped, and I refuse to believe that the U.S. is full of opportunistic kidnappers lurking around parking lots waiting for a parent to leave a child in a car. Apart from that, it's paranoia. Sure, the car could be struck by lightning! Someone having a medical emergency could ram into the car and kill the child! There could be a shootout and the child could get caught in crossfire! Yes, and if you were in the car you would prevent that how?
When my kids were little 30 years ago there was no pay outside at the pump for gas. I remember what a pain it was to get two little kids out of car seats to go inside to pay but I did it. Once time I decided it was not worth waking them up so I walked the short distance to the store constantly looking over my shoulder.. Nothing bad happened but I was nervous.
The next day at the same gas station somebody rammed into a parked car with kids inside and the car caught fire. Luckily the kids were saved.
I sat my husband down and asked him to NEVER leave my car close to running out of gas again. Things are different when you have little kids. He never did. I hate pumping gas and even when the kids were older he always filled the cars. I'm spoiled.
I agree that the risk of leaving a child in the situation described (locked car, child secured, parent always in eyesight) is so low that it shouldn't even register on the risk-o-meter. In some European countries, parents leave babies asleep in strollers outside cafes while they go in for lunch! I am not recommending that anyone do this (!), but clearly many Americans are on the paranoid side. There are very, very few risks to leaving a child alone in a car for one minute--I mean, risks that could actually be averted by having an adult by their side every second. About the only one I can think of is being kidnapped, and I refuse to believe that the U.S. is full of opportunistic kidnappers lurking around parking lots waiting for a parent to leave a child in a car. Apart from that, it's paranoia. Sure, the car could be struck by lightning! Someone having a medical emergency could ram into the car and kill the child! There could be a shootout and the child could get caught in crossfire! Yes, and if you were in the car you would prevent that how?
You are comparing apples to oranges. The vast majority of people HAVE to assume the risk of a car accident, because we need cars to function productively. No one HAS to leave their child in the car unattended.
Agreed. No one HAS to leave their child in the car, and really, no one HAS to leave their child unattended ever. This is why I attend school with my children (can't quite figure out why DD's college professor has a problem with this?) and am right out on the soccer field with them when they're playing in a game, or on the stage when they're performing in the middle school orchestra concert. The risk is just too great.
I don't think the risk of leaving your kids in the car for a minute is even remotely high. The reward is, if they are asleep, you can let them continue to sleep uninterrupted and you can also save time. Are you really telling me that you wouldn't leave a child in the car for a minute to return a grocery cart to the cart return, or get money out from the ATM or return a library book to the book return, all within sight of your kid? What do you think could happen in those instances? How high do you think the odds are of something bad happening in these types of instances?
When I was little parents frequently left kids in the car (not under five, but not much older) while they went into the grocery store for a full shopping trip. I sat in the car alone many times. I know many other kids who did the same. How did we go from that to, "not even a minute" all in a few decades?
No, I would not leave a child in a car unattended.
The risk, even remote, is too high compared to the "reward" which is self serving at best.
Agreed. No one HAS to leave their child in the car, and really, no one HAS to leave their child unattended ever. This is why I attend school with my children (can't quite figure out why DD's college professor has a problem with this?) and am right out on the soccer field with them when they're playing in a game, or on the stage when they're performing in the middle school orchestra concert. The risk is just too great.
Again, there is a reward/benefit to teaching older children how to become self sufficient by leaving them unattended for longer and longer periods of time as they get older. The only benefit to leaving an infant alone in a car is convenience for the parent. Clearly a decent number of parents value that convenience higher than whatever risk there maybe to the child. That is their choice.
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