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As a parent I am on the fence about this. I really don't like the whole idea that a fictional character gets props for giving presents and watching if you're good. I also think it's exhausting in a way to keep up the charade. But at the same time I feel like if I don't incorporate him, it is an element of childhood my child misses in on. That other kids get to partake in. Like the magical world of Santa. With the idea of the North Pole, Rudolph, and the whole shebang. I also do admit to having used it if my son is acting up too much, like Santa is watching. I always regret it after
We have one child, a five year old, and we bring Santa into Christmas. It just happened that way. Didn't plan it one way or another. It happened because of society ramming it down our throats with mall Santas, TV Christmas specials, books, clothing, and other people talking about it. I have tried to bring some elements of truth to what I tell him, or at least what we were told as the truth, such as a man back in the day that put little presents in the windows of children who had little money and that others help to continue that tradition now (yeah us as parents ). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like,
"Does Santa really see everything we do?"
"Who are his elves?"
"Can I be an elf someday?"
"How does he get in houses?" and so on and so forth.
I know Christmas is over and we are entering Spring now but another Santa question came up from my son today and I'd like to know what other people do. Maybe I can get some ideas between now and next Christmas.
What do you do regarding Santa? How do you feel about the whole thing? When do you tell kids the truth? Do you tell them or let them find out?
I remember I was 10 when I found out completely. My Grandmother at Christmas time says, "You know Santa doesn't exist right?"
"Oh yeah, sure Grandma, of course"
I had my suspicions but I was still holding out hope.
Btw, for the record we are not christian religious. My Mother is and already brings some elements of that into his life but we are agnostics, so please respect that when answering. Thank you.
I think kids are expected to grow up faster than we were, in so many other ways, that letting them hold onto the innocence of fables such as Santa, and the Easter Bunny, do no harm. At least, my kids didn't seem bothered at all to find out it wasn't true.
Why not just go along with it and use his questions as a great opportunity to teach him/let him come up with his ideas. Just make it more about how he feels about it, rather then what Santa does.
"I don't know, how do you think Santa gets into houses?" or
"Why would you like to be an elf, would it be fun to make toys/play in the snow etc." even
"Does Santa see everything we do?" a good response would be "Well even Santa can't, but around Christmas it is especially important we help other kids who don't have as much" then give your child an opportunity to purchase a toy for Toys for Tots or go through his toys and choose some to "give" to others.
Santa is everywhere at Christmas, you are right you can't avoid him, but use him to help your child learn. Thats what my parents did anyway. Just let them find out on their own, half the kids in the PreK class I taught knew he wasn't real, the other half didn't but they all enjoyed the classic Santa stories and talking about him and the presents. Heck kids are excited about Christmas in general.
It helps if you just keep the fun aspect of Santa and stop using him as a back-up discipline threat.
When your son asks you the questions, ask him, "How do YOU think he does it?" Just be mysteriously vague and rely on the "It's magic!" quality of the myth.
I feel the same as you! We did Santa, because it's just what you do at Christmas, but now, especially this past Christmas, it feels wrong to me. Especially the Elf on the Shelf thing. I kept finding myself saying "kids, you better stop, she's watching, " or " she'll tell Santa on you!" I felt like a nark and feel like I wasn't teaching them anything good. I may not do that next year.
We have three kids. 5, 3 and 11 months and I think we are in too deep to just spill the beans ha ha. I do like how excited they get and how bewildered they are by the mystery of it, so even though I feel strange about this huge lie, I won't ruin it for them. Your son will figure it out in a couple years too, so honestly I would just continue as you are .
With 3 kids (3, 5, and 7), my husband and I thought long and hard about this and in the end, we decided to tell them the truth from the get-go.
It maybe easier for us because we don't get them or anyone else in our family or circle of friends gifts during Christmas. Our extended families (grandparents, aunts and uncles) give them gifts, but we don't and we make it clear to our family and friends that in no way do we expect gifts of any kind.
The only thing we do during Christmas is go bananas with adopting families. The kids love picking out stuff for the other kids. They take this responsibility very seriously. We really have fun doing this as a family. I give them a budget and a list for each family and they have to figure out (with my help) what we can get and where. We make a whole day out of it.
I have a four year old, I told her straight up that Santa doesn't exist, he's just a fun story to pretend with children. She still wholeheartedly believes in him though and my mother, the one that didn't do the Santa thing with us as kids, did the whole charade with my kid last Christmas, reinforcing the story *sigh*
I'm just going to keep it as a fun pretend game, have someone dress up as Santa and bring round presents on Christmas Eve, that kind of thing, and if she wants to believe she can but if she asks me I'll tell her the same as before, its just pretend.
But at the same time I feel like if I don't incorporate him, it is an element of childhood my child misses in on.
It has never been for me - but I have never commented on the people who do perpetuate the myth. But I think _this_ reason for it is a poor one. The child does not "miss out" on anything at all. Thats just the guilt trip people who DO use the myth pile onto those that do not.
If you are going to do Santa in your family - or not - then do it for your own reasons. Not this fake guilt people invent and pile on you.
It is so sad that our entire culture as American people is being supplanted with 'diversity' and 'multi-culturalism' to the point where we no longer wish to carry on traditions that are based on anything that smacks of Christianity. It is even sadder when this affects our children.
St. Nicholas (where "Santa Claus" comes from...say the saint's name quicky) was a persecuted Christian in the 4th century AD, from the area we know as southern Turkey. Supposedly he was told by Christ to sell all his things and give the money to the poor...which he did. Thus, what he represents.
These are your children and I'd fight to give you the right to raise them as you see fit.
Not sure where you pulled that agenda from given no one so far on the thread has suggested anything of the sort.
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). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like, 
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