Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
As a parent I am on the fence about this. I really don't like the whole idea that a fictional character gets props for giving presents and watching if you're good. I also think it's exhausting in a way to keep up the charade. But at the same time I feel like if I don't incorporate him, it is an element of childhood my child misses in on. That other kids get to partake in. Like the magical world of Santa. With the idea of the North Pole, Rudolph, and the whole shebang. I also do admit to having used it if my son is acting up too much, like Santa is watching. I always regret it after
We have one child, a five year old, and we bring Santa into Christmas. It just happened that way. Didn't plan it one way or another. It happened because of society ramming it down our throats with mall Santas, TV Christmas specials, books, clothing, and other people talking about it. I have tried to bring some elements of truth to what I tell him, or at least what we were told as the truth, such as a man back in the day that put little presents in the windows of children who had little money and that others help to continue that tradition now (yeah us as parents ). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like,
"Does Santa really see everything we do?"
"Who are his elves?"
"Can I be an elf someday?"
"How does he get in houses?" and so on and so forth.
I know Christmas is over and we are entering Spring now but another Santa question came up from my son today and I'd like to know what other people do. Maybe I can get some ideas between now and next Christmas.
What do you do regarding Santa? How do you feel about the whole thing? When do you tell kids the truth? Do you tell them or let them find out?
I remember I was 10 when I found out completely. My Grandmother at Christmas time says, "You know Santa doesn't exist right?"
"Oh yeah, sure Grandma, of course"
I had my suspicions but I was still holding out hope.
Btw, for the record we are not christian religious. My Mother is and already brings some elements of that into his life but we are agnostics, so please respect that when answering. Thank you.
I'll be 54 in May. I'm raised Jewish. There is a Santa Claus. I'm not too concerned with people telling me otherwise. I suggest you don't concern yourself with your kids hearing otherwise. Let them believe what they want to believe about Santa, for as long as they want to believe it. They might get over it in a month. They might get over it in a decade. They might hold to the myth for their entire lifetime. It won't harm them either way.
I have very fond memories of Santa as a child, and the excitement and anticipation of it all. I wanted my dd to experience that.
At the same time, I found it difficult to hand all the credit over to some made up person when I'm the one busting my butt to buy all this stuff.
I also recalled my mother telling me that as a child she believed Santa didn't like black people, because they were poor and their parents couldn't afford elaborate gifts like some of her classmates. It made me reflect on how kids can be hurt by what they believe is Santa's slight, when it really is poor struggling parents doing the best they can.
So I compromised. One gift is from Santa, the rest from mom and family. And I tell her that Santa doesn't work for free, that parents have to send him a check for their child's gifts and express delivery.
I've never considered it "lying" though. It's make believe. When my dd had a make believe friend, or when she comes to me with something one of her stuffed animals said (which she still does) I can't imagine responding with "That's a lie!" Santa, the tooth fairy, and Easter bunny fall under the same category as talking stuffed animals and imaginary friends. Childhood fun. As simple as that. I outgrew it myself with no trauma or sense of betrayal.
Good post. We, too, labeled some gifts from "Mom and Dad". I definitely agree about the "lie" bit.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku
Another reason not to do the myths - my OH today told my four year old that the Easter bunny visited while she was at daycare, to bring a basket and seeds for her to grow grass in for Easter. She got scared, thinking there was an actual bunny in our house and didn't want to do the grass basket or anything. I explained to her again that its just a game and now she's much happier about the whole thing.
Individual kids will respond differently. You handled it well.
My kids have older cousins. My brother's oldest is 10 years older than my youngest. One year, we visited them for Easter and it was cute to see the cousins get into the Easter Bunny thing with the kids. "Oh, look, here's some bunny paw prints", stuff like that. My kids were 5 and 8, the cousins were 12 and 15. I don't know if I have a point with this, other than to say these jaded teens/preteens had fun with the EB with the little kids.
Just for the record, I saw the Easter Bunny in my backyard one day last week, checking out the territory ahead of time.
And I saw the Groundhog today, definitely out of his hole.
Spring is here!
P.S. Now, if I saw both the Easter Bunny and the Groundhog within one week, surely their friend Santa must be starting up production for Christmas 2015 up at the North Pole...
Believing in Santa, among other things, is a wonderful part of a childs innocence and wonderment...I will not take that away from my kids...
If taking credit for your kids Christmas presents is more important to you than that, then sounds like you need to rediscover the meaning of christmas
And once again we see the fallacious guilt trips being rolled out by the people who do Santa on those that do not.
You simply skew entirely the motivation and arguments that have been made in the thread - ignore them all - and pretend it is all about taking credit for Christmas presents.
The simple fact here is that no one who is not perpetuating the Santa myth are doing it for such self serving reasons - nor are they removing innocence and wonder from the lives of any child. That is just the misrepresentations of reality people like yourself feel the need to simply invent to pile the hate on those who do not do what you do.
And your motivation and need to do that is - I have to admit - alien and opaque to me.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Natsku
She got scared, thinking there was an actual bunny in our house and didn't want to do the grass basket or anything. I explained to her again that its just a game and now she's much happier about the whole thing.
Yeah I have heard this one before. Or at least things like it. Parents trying to convince their scared children in the night that no monsters or aliens can get into the house. But the child says "You told me Santa and stuff like that can - so why not monsters".
So the parents either have to come clean in order to allay the kids fears - or they have to pile on more layers of lies to repair the damage of the first set.
And once again we see the fallacious guilt trips being rolled out by the people who do Santa on those that do not.
You simply skew entirely the motivation and arguments that have been made in the thread - ignore them all - and pretend it is all about taking credit for Christmas presents.
The simple fact here is that no one who is not perpetuating the Santa myth are doing it for such self serving reasons - nor are they removing innocence and wonder from the lives of any child. That is just the misrepresentations of reality people like yourself feel the need to simply invent to pile the hate on those who do not do what you do.
And your motivation and need to do that is - I have to admit - alien and opaque to me.
Yeah I have heard this one before. Or at least things like it. Parents trying to convince their scared children in the night that no monsters or aliens can get into the house. But the child says "You told me Santa and stuff like that can - so why not monsters".
So the parents either have to come clean in order to allay the kids fears - or they have to pile on more layers of lies to repair the damage of the first set.
As if the other side didn't do the same thing, warning of kids becoming income tax cheats and who knows what else, all because they believed in Santa!
Nice of you to skip over my reply to you and skip onto a post I wrote to someone else.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallsAngel
As if the other side didn't do the same thing, warning of kids becoming income tax cheats and who knows what else, all because they believed in Santa!
I would take that up with them - not me - if you have an issue with it. I too find such things hyperbole and you are adding to that hyperbole by over extending what the user in question said. But the core point at the heart of it is a good one:
We spend significant portions of our child rearing teaching them honesty - and another significant portion of it lying to them and misleading them. I can understand people who might realise this and at least deeply consider if it is a wise thing to be doing. That there might be some mixed signals tied up in that approach.
This is not to be compared to the kind of guilt tripping I am calling out however like above or earlier on from Qwerty. Telling people that "not doing santa" is "removing the innocence and wonder of children" all because they want to "take credit for the presents" - is a complete misrepresentation of what people have been saying on the thread.
Quite simply not a single person on the thread who says they do not do the Santa thing - has shown a single indication of the things they are being accused of.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallsAngel
I'm sure you've heard that millions of times!
You do like your hyperbole and exaggeration it seems. Almost like you just can not stop yourself.
Nice of you to skip over my reply to you and skip onto a post I wrote to someone else.
I would take that up with them - not me - if you have an issue with it. I too find such things hyperbole and you are adding to that hyperbole by over extending what the user in question said. But the core point at the heart of it is a good one:
We spend significant portions of our child rearing teaching them honesty - and another significant portion of it lying to them and misleading them. I can understand people who might realise this and at least deeply consider if it is a wise thing to be doing. That there might be some mixed signals tied up in that approach.
This is not to be compared to the kind of guilt tripping I am calling out however like above or earlier on from Qwerty. Telling people that "not doing santa" is "removing the innocence and wonder of children" all because they want to "take credit for the presents" - is a complete misrepresentation of what people have been saying on the thread.
Quite simply not a single person on the thread who says they do not do the Santa thing - has shown a single indication of the things they are being accused of.
You do like your hyperbole and exaggeration it seems. Almost like you just can not stop yourself.
This is a public board, anyone can reply to any post and ignore any post.
I'm not exaggerating; someone did bring up cheating on taxes! I'd like to see that defense: "But, my parents told me Santa was real!"
This is a public board, anyone can reply to any post and ignore any post.
I do not recall suggesting otherwise - so I am not sure why you bring it up. Filler I guess.
Quote:
Originally Posted by FallsAngel
I'm not exaggerating; someone did bring up cheating on taxes! I'd like to see that defense: "But, my parents told me Santa was real!"
Nor do I recall saying no one brought it up. What you are exaggerating is the significance of bringing it up. It was merely a sole example to illustrate a main point. A point I ramified in my previous post related to how we spend time investing the idea of honesty in our children - while spending further time engaging in many levels of lies with them.
And in doing so it is not a fantastical suggestion to say that we may be instilling in children the idea that the line we draw between honesty and dishonesty is rather fluid - and thus the door can be opened to minor indiscretions of that form. Fiddling taxes was a sole and random example of that - and you getting overly haughty about the example - does little but dodge the core point behind that example - which is likely quite valid.
Certainly FATHOMS more valid that those people wantonly misrepresenting the goals - motivations - and effects of those parents who have chosen not to do the Santa Claus thing - which this thread is punctuated with.
Santa Claus is real. Haven't you seen Miracle on 34th St. ? Tehehe.
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like, 
