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Why would you want to teach your children something that when they find out the truth they are heartbroken??? Why deliberately set them up with a lie that you must undo and will potentially hurt them? There's nothing "magic" about that.
I don't remember being heartbroken, or that my kids were ever heartbroken upon the realization that Santa is "simply" a sweet idea, the embodiment of the spirit of giving, carried out by parents. I think if a child is really heartbroken over that, then there is more going on. Or less.
I told my three kids the truth from the get-go. I simply couldn't lie to them. I framed it this way: "Santa isn't a real person. He's a fun character, like from a story book. Lots of kids believe he's real, though, so be careful what you say. They'll find out eventually, but let it be from someone else. But if someone directly asks you if Santa is real, you should gently tell the truth." It certainly appeared that my kids didn't feel cheated out of the magic of Santa, but as parents themselves, they have allowed their kids to believe. Still, my grown children don't make a big deal about Santa with their offspring.
This would have been my answer but you beat me too it. It's exactly what my parents told my sisters and me when we were kids adding to it the fact that we were Jewish and Santa Claus is a Christian concept that many parents tell their kids is real so that telling our Christian friends there was no such thing as Santa Claus was disrespecting their traditions.
So we didn't say anything to other kids who believed in Santa. We were never traumatized or anything like that or felt left out because we didn't believe in Santa and others did. It was just like a fairy tale like any other. We knew the tooth fairy was really our mom or dad but it was fun to pretend it was a real fairy who left the dime under our pillow in exchange for a tooth. Kids are good at pretending and it's easy for them to know something isn't real but still have fun pretending it is or could be.
I'm not the one who first used the term heartbroken, it's other posters on here relaying their own experiences learning that Santa wasn't real, who then pass on that lovely tradition to their own kids.
As I said, my kids are grown and we didn't do Santa, and they are no worse the wear for it. There was plenty of magic in our household, but no lies. There is a difference.
There is a Santa Claus. Have you ever read those stories about unfortunate kids suddenly having presents all under their tree? How does that happen? Have you seen the magic in children's eyes with the Spirit of Santa? Sick children in hospitals when Santa comes around with spreading the joy and love? The belief of Santa creates so many heart warming stories, it can bring out the best in people. How many stories do you hear every Christmas time that people have come together to help other unfortunate families?
Santa Claus lives inside of us. He is magical. Those heart warming stories that come out at Christmas time can melt my heart.
I have always told my sons there is a Santa, someone is Santa, just like when they put on their Batman costume and they become Batman for that moment. When we become parents magical powers are bestowed on us. Someone is Santa, the spirit of St Nicholas/Santa lives inside our hearts (just as the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny). When my sons came of that age I told them that someone is Santa, he lives in our hearts. What an amazing magical power to bring joy to children.
What do you do regarding Santa? How do you feel about the whole thing? When do you tell kids the truth? Do you tell them or let them find out?
I remember I was 10 when I found out completely. My Grandmother at Christmas time says, "You know Santa doesn't exist right?"
"Oh yeah, sure Grandma, of course"
I had my suspicions but I was still holding out hope.
Btw, for the record we are not christian religious. My Mother is and already brings some elements of that into his life but we are agnostics, so please respect that when answering. Thank you.
My son was brought up in a "Santa brings presents at Christmas" family. I think he figured it out somewhere around 10 or so. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I love Christmas and all that goes with it. I bought him home on Christmas morning - I always tell him he was my best present ever.
My son was brought up in a "Santa brings presents at Christmas" family. I think he figured it out somewhere around 10 or so. I wouldn't have done it any other way. I love Christmas and all that goes with it. I bought him home on Christmas morning - I always tell him he was my best present ever.
great post!!
my son was around 7-8
but I messed up one christmas eve, I ran out of wrapping paper and instead of using newspaper, I used a roll of butcher wrap paper (with safe handling instructions) it was late.....and I put from dad, and from santa , two separate tags on different butcher wrap presents...
the next morning while opening the gifts,,,he asks "why would santa use butcher wrap ?
I immediately thought,,,,,this kid is going places, I wouldn't have picked up on that at that age.
I said santa has millions of kids he must run out too....and changed the subject.
(I use to cut up wild game in the fall for extra Christmas money, so he knew what this was)
OPTION A: About five years of "magical" Christmases and excitement followed by tears and a sense of loss that didn't last very long
OPTION B: The absolute truth, no magic, no disillusionment
I will choose Option A. You can choose whichever you like.
(And no, I was neither traumatized nor really hurt, just very much let down. Remember, I was nine, and I had probably subconsciously already figured it out, but I just -- I think -- didn't want to give up the magic. I would compare it to having my heart set on going to Disneyland at that age and then being told that we couldn't go after all. Not exactly "take her to therapy" time!)
OPTION C: Christmas remains exciting and 'magical' throughout childhood like Christmas was in my childhood, because instead of a tradition that only lasts a few years properly, we had wonderful traditions that lasted the whole time because they weren't based on lies (well apart from the Jesus stuff)
There is a Santa Claus. Have you ever read those stories about unfortunate kids suddenly having presents all under their tree? How does that happen? Have you seen the magic in children's eyes with the Spirit of Santa? Sick children in hospitals when Santa comes around with spreading the joy and love? The belief of Santa creates so many heart warming stories, it can bring out the best in people. How many stories do you hear every Christmas time that people have come together to help other unfortunate families?
Santa Claus lives inside of us. He is magical. Those heart warming stories that come out at Christmas time can melt my heart.
I have always told my sons there is a Santa, someone is Santa, just like when they put on their Batman costume and they become Batman for that moment. When we become parents magical powers are bestowed on us. Someone is Santa, the spirit of St Nicholas/Santa lives inside our hearts (just as the Tooth Fairy and the Easter Bunny). When my sons came of that age I told them that someone is Santa, he lives in our hearts. What an amazing magical power to bring joy to children.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Minervah
....... We knew the tooth fairy was really our mom or dad but it was fun to pretend it was a real fairy who left the dime under our pillow in exchange for a tooth. .......
You're dating yourself, Minervah. Nowadays the tooth fairy has to leave a $20 bill.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MoonBeam33
I'm not the one who first used the term heartbroken, it's other posters on here relaying their own experiences learning that Santa wasn't real, who then pass on that lovely tradition to their own kids.
As I said, my kids are grown and we didn't do Santa, and they are no worse the wear for it. There was plenty of magic in our household, but no lies. There is a difference.
Yes, everything is new and wondrous and magical to a kid (except maybe spankings). It's the same as when we see a magic show and can't figure it out - well they can't figure out much of anything about life. A blizzard might be old hat to us, but they're seeing it with fresh eyes.
There's no need to lie to them. It's all magical at that age. Telling them the basic truth about where babies come from, for example, is just as miraculous to them as some tall tale about a stork. It seems too tawdry to us to want to tell it to a child, but for them either version is as wondrous as the other - yet one is a lie.
As a parent I am on the fence about this. I really don't like the whole idea that a fictional character gets props for giving presents and watching if you're good. I also think it's exhausting in a way to keep up the charade. But at the same time I feel like if I don't incorporate him, it is an element of childhood my child misses in on. That other kids get to partake in. Like the magical world of Santa. With the idea of the North Pole, Rudolph, and the whole shebang. I also do admit to having used it if my son is acting up too much, like Santa is watching. I always regret it after
We have one child, a five year old, and we bring Santa into Christmas. It just happened that way. Didn't plan it one way or another. It happened because of society ramming it down our throats with mall Santas, TV Christmas specials, books, clothing, and other people talking about it. I have tried to bring some elements of truth to what I tell him, or at least what we were told as the truth, such as a man back in the day that put little presents in the windows of children who had little money and that others help to continue that tradition now (yeah us as parents ). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like,
"Does Santa really see everything we do?"
"Who are his elves?"
"Can I be an elf someday?"
"How does he get in houses?" and so on and so forth.
I know Christmas is over and we are entering Spring now but another Santa question came up from my son today and I'd like to know what other people do. Maybe I can get some ideas between now and next Christmas.
What do you do regarding Santa? How do you feel about the whole thing? When do you tell kids the truth? Do you tell them or let them find out?
I remember I was 10 when I found out completely. My Grandmother at Christmas time says, "You know Santa doesn't exist right?"
"Oh yeah, sure Grandma, of course"
I had my suspicions but I was still holding out hope.
Btw, for the record we are not christian religious. My Mother is and already brings some elements of that into his life but we are agnostics, so please respect that when answering. Thank you.
It would be difficult in our culture as a Christian, or a person who celebrates Christmas to deny the existence of Santa Claus.
My children are late teens early 20s now. They believed in Santa for a while, and as do most children, figure it out. They were not angry.
It added some magic to their lives. Childhood happiness.
I see no harm. Same with the Easter Bunny.
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I bought him home on Christmas morning - I always tell him he was my best present ever. 
). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like, 
