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What a sad house when children can't play make-believe or have fantasies or can only believe in "real" things....
Kids are little and innocent for such a short time...let them be. Do you REALLY know any adult that has to go to therapy because they found out Santa wasn't real?
What a sad house when children can't play make-believe or have fantasies or can only believe in "real" things....
Indeed. Thankfully however I have not seen a single person on this thread suggest such a house. No one anywhere here has suggested Children should not make believe or have fantasy. You appear to have been saddened by something that has only actually succoured to you.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Qwerty
Do you REALLY know any adult that has to go to therapy because they found out Santa wasn't real?
Who knows to be honest. I certainly don't. But we DO have people in therapy for delusions and conspiracy theories - thinking the whole world is conspiring together to perpetuate some kind of illusion or conspiracy or lie on them.
Now I would not for one moment have a basis for claiming that children who realise the whole world has been conspiring together to perpetuate the lie of Santa on them - has led to people later in life to suffer such delusions requiring therapy.
But I can say with some confidence that it certainly does not help. Because people under delusions that others can - en masse - conspire in a conspiracy and lie to you - actually have sound basis for lending credence to the possibility. Because it has likely happened to them before as a child.
Kids love to play make believe.
I should have made sure to tell my kids and grandkids I wasn't really a wild bull when I got on my hands and knees and chased them with fingers pointed out like horns.
What a sad house when children can't play make-believe or have fantasies or can only believe in "real" things....
Kids are little and innocent for such a short time...let them be. Do you REALLY know any adult that has to go to therapy because they found out Santa wasn't real?
Our adult children still get Santa presents...
Not doing the Santa thing doesn't mean children don't get to play make-believe. Monumentus explained it very well - kids know when they are playing make-believe and they know what's real and what is just play, but with Santa they don't know that. That's why I tell my child that it is just a fun game, so she knows its make-believe. She still gets to play all the make-believe she wants, and believe me, she has an amazing imagination! Just the other day she was pretending that her stuffed tiger was Santa and she needed him to come help her dead baby.
As a parent I am on the fence about this. I really don't like the whole idea that a fictional character gets props for giving presents and watching if you're good. I also think it's exhausting in a way to keep up the charade. But at the same time I feel like if I don't incorporate him, it is an element of childhood my child misses in on. That other kids get to partake in. Like the magical world of Santa. With the idea of the North Pole, Rudolph, and the whole shebang. I also do admit to having used it if my son is acting up too much, like Santa is watching. I always regret it after
We have one child, a five year old, and we bring Santa into Christmas. It just happened that way. Didn't plan it one way or another. It happened because of society ramming it down our throats with mall Santas, TV Christmas specials, books, clothing, and other people talking about it. I have tried to bring some elements of truth to what I tell him, or at least what we were told as the truth, such as a man back in the day that put little presents in the windows of children who had little money and that others help to continue that tradition now (yeah us as parents ). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like,
"Does Santa really see everything we do?"
"Who are his elves?"
"Can I be an elf someday?"
"How does he get in houses?" and so on and so forth.
I know Christmas is over and we are entering Spring now but another Santa question came up from my son today and I'd like to know what other people do. Maybe I can get some ideas between now and next Christmas.
What do you do regarding Santa? How do you feel about the whole thing? When do you tell kids the truth? Do you tell them or let them find out?
I remember I was 10 when I found out completely. My Grandmother at Christmas time says, "You know Santa doesn't exist right?"
"Oh yeah, sure Grandma, of course"
I had my suspicions but I was still holding out hope.
Btw, for the record we are not christian religious. My Mother is and already brings some elements of that into his life but we are agnostics, so please respect that when answering. Thank you.
Do not let them find out. Children need something to help them retain their innocence and naivety. Childhood is supposed to be a time that's happy, and filled with "magic". The later in childhood that they learn that the world's not a happy, magical fun place, the better. It's much happier to go through childhood thinking that mythical characters are real, or that you're going to go on some kind of adventure, than living the boring, often hellish, sad life of an adult. Don't buy them a bunch of toys either. Tell them to go in the back yard and play, to use their imaginations. I'm not saying that buying them toys/video games is altogether bad, just that they don't need a lot of them. If the kids complain about getting bored, tell them that they could help you clean/do chores. Also, get them to read books from an early age, convince them that reading is fun/interesting. I don't know, maybe I'm just a bit biased because this was how I was raised.
What a sad house when children can't play make-believe or have fantasies or can only believe in "real" things....
Kids are little and innocent for such a short time...let them be. Do you REALLY know any adult that has to go to therapy because they found out Santa wasn't real?
Our adult children still get Santa presents...
This is such an ethnocentric post. So, essentially, if we don't do Christmas like Americans of European descent then our children are to be pitied. Please.
I don't do Santa as a truth in my family. Big deal. How does that imply that I don't allow my kids to play make-believe or daydream? When did Santa own the rights to innocence and imagination? Clearly, you have never seen my two young Jedis save the universe. My youngest son want to be a potion maker when he grows up. He already has a list of potions that he will make available when he becomes one. Just because he knows Santa isn't real (like Harry potter and Luke skywalker) doesn't mean he can't appreciate the story of Santa.
I think you have a picture of us non-Santa parents summoning our kids to the den the moment our kids turn 4 years old and sit them down and say "Santa is not real. It's all a big fat lie. Son, there is a cruel world out there and it's best you find out now. Now, go get a job and start pulling your own weight. Btw, make sure you tell all of your friends at school."
Instead it goes more like this.
Kid: mom/dad is Santa real?
Mom/dad (trying to use the bathroom in peace): huh? Well.. give me 5 minutes.
Kid: is Santa going to come to our house
Mom/dad (zipping up pants): well, actually, Santa is a great story - kind of like Peter pan, Harry potter, etc. lots of people celebrate Christmas by ...... yada, yada, yada.
Kid: will I still get presents?
Mom/dad: yes.
Kid: Ok. Can I play on the iPad?
Mom/dad: uh...go ask your mom/dad.
I love the whole Santa deal and especially the excitement and anticipation in my kids eyes. Christmas time is a magical time for the family and especially my son. This year he completely decorated the house, inside and out, did the tree, wrapped many gifts for the family. He absolutely loves Christmas and starts preparing right after Thanksgiving. I suspect that when he is a parent, he will be very much into the whole season as well. We also stress the Christian aspect of Christmas so it isn't just Santa.
I do feel for him. He is in 6th grade and still believes although is starting to have doubts ( hearing this from his peers, lol). This year he was talking about installing a camera to record Santa and prove his friends wrong, lol. My daughter figured it out much earlier. I remain noncommittal on the whole topic and have the attitude that he will eventually figure it out.
Do what is comfortable for your family. I've enjoyed the many years we've gotten out of Santa and will be a bit sad when he does figure this all out. Now I have to see if he still believes in the Easter Bunny since that is just around the corner.
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). I also try to take some of Santa's "power" by saying he only puts things in stockings, and the family gives the presents under the tree. But he doesn't really understand too much of that and doesn't retain that, especially because no one else talks about it like that. Everyone else is always talking about the commercial Santa. Even my own family will do that. Other people say different things to their children too so that doesn't help. So I just go along with the charade because he is so young still. But it's hard when he asks questions like, 
