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Dude, you do realize I am 27 with a 6 year old and going on 8 years of marriage.
If you choose your old kid over your new family, you obviously weren't ready to get married again because you still are attached. If you weren't ready to move on, why did you?
You can not be serious. You don't "move on" from children. Why should they be penalized because the adults couldn't work things out. I really, really hope you are a troll if not, you are a sad excuse for a man.
I love how you just assume it was the ex's fault that they're no longer together.
I am not even going to waste my time commenting on all the other bizarre points of your post. I've just bolded them - while I doubt you will understand why, I'm sure most others will understand perfectly what I'm so aghast about.
It's unusual - but I'm actually speechless. Please tell me your post is a joke.
I'm with you 100% on this one Kathryn. I was hoping it was written by a non-parent, but alas, I was wrong.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mark1988
Um no. I'm not joking/being sarcastic. I am speaking as a man and as a father and husband.
Your new wife and child are your first priority, they are your family.
1. The 2 year old
2. New wife
3. 11 year old
You have to do what's best for your real family. The family you're married too. Your first priority is them. You never made a vow to your daughter but you did make a vow to your wife and have a child in the marriage.
Move wherever you have to move. Go visit the 11 year old child periodically and request your ex wife to amend custody so you get holidays and summers with the other child. If she doesn't want to do that, drop it and move on.
Do what's best for your real family bro. The family you are married too. They are your first priority. The other child is still a responsibility of yours, but a lesser one. You are not with the mother, and she is lucky you are even considering her when making this choice. Do not spite your new family over a mistake you made 11 years ago. SoCal is expensive, move to Phoenix, Texas wherever..somewhere with a sensible government, and reasonable prices where you can provide a life for your new family.
If you are going to put your old family above your wife and the baby you had together, why did you even have a new kid...to play second fiddle to a child whose mother you aren't married too?
Move on. These people are emotional whiney babies. Do what's best for the people that matter most, your wife and new child. This is man to man speaking. You will regret it forever and you, your wife and your child will forever resent the 11 year old who held you back from having the best life you can. Again dude, why have another kid and family just to put them behind the child of a woman you aren't even with. The ex and the 11 year old are the past, you gonna dwell in the past? Or you gonna make a good future? Your choice.
His FIRST daughter is his real family - just as much as the current one. Continuing to be her PARENT is not 'living in the past'. Pining away for his ex would qualify as living in the past which does not seem to be the case. No offense but you seem very young and clueless about children.
Quote:
Originally Posted by aquietpath
As shocking as this attitude is, it is exactly how the 11 year old will perceive it if her father moves away with his new family. I'm hoping this poster is a teenager with no conception of the responsibility of parenting and an immature and selfish attitude regarding life decisions.
She absolutely will feel like a second class citizen and that she no longer mattered to him once he got his 'real family'.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mark1988
Dude, you do realize I am 27 with a 6 year old and going on 8 years of marriage.
If you choose your old kid over your new family, you obviously weren't ready to get married again because you still are attached. If you weren't ready to move on, why did you?
Grow up some more. One does not 'move on' from their child. Good God; no wonder we have so many deadbeat Dads if this is the prevailing male wisdom.
As for the last 2 pages of thread, I think there is a hijacking troll here. Never was ditching a kid advocated here, this thread is about moving away. I will not respond to him, please no one else.
Um no. I'm not joking/being sarcastic. I am speaking as a man and as a father and husband.
Your new wife and child are your first priority, they are your family.
1. The 2 year old
2. New wife
3. 11 year old
You have to do what's best for your real family. The family you're married too. Your first priority is them. You never made a vow to your daughter but you did make a vow to your wife and have a child in the marriage.
Move wherever you have to move. Go visit the 11 year old child periodically and request your ex wife to amend custody so you get holidays and summers with the other child. If she doesn't want to do that, drop it and move on.
Do what's best for your real family bro. The family you are married too. They are your first priority. The other child is still a responsibility of yours, but a lesser one. You are not with the mother, and she is lucky you are even considering her when making this choice. Do not spite your new family over a mistake you made 11 years ago. SoCal is expensive, move to Phoenix, Texas wherever..somewhere with a sensible government, and reasonable prices where you can provide a life for your new family.
If you are going to put your old family above your wife and the baby you had together, why did you even have a new kid...to play second fiddle to a child whose mother you aren't married too?
Move on. These people are emotional whiney babies. Do what's best for the people that matter most, your wife and new child. This is man to man speaking. You will regret it forever and you, your wife and your child will forever resent the 11 year old who held you back from having the best life you can. Again dude, why have another kid and family just to put them behind the child of a woman you aren't even with. The ex and the 11 year old are the past, you gonna dwell in the past? Or you gonna make a good future? Your choice.
I still cannot comprehend this attitude. I saw first hand what this does to children, since my ex "moved on" from our 2 sons. He called once in a blue moon, and initiated a few trips to where he lived - until he and his new wife had their first child. Then they became his "real family" and my sons were pretty much left in the dust. There is no greater pain than being rejected by a parent. OP please don't do this to your child.
OP, are you sure these are your only options? Can you find a more secure job that's closer to where you are now? Can you buy a house where you are, albeit less house than you could buy elsewhere? Are you sure your ex isn't interested in moving somewhere else too? Crazier things have happened.
I'd move heaven and earth to provide a stable environment for my child. Have you explored all the possibilities?
Um no. I'm not joking/being sarcastic. I am speaking as a man and as a father and husband.
Your new wife and child are your first priority, they are your family.
1. The 2 year old
2. New wife
3. 11 year old
You have to do what's best for your real family. The family you're married too. Your first priority is them. You never made a vow to your daughter but you did make a vow to your wife and have a child in the marriage.
Move wherever you have to move. Go visit the 11 year old child periodically and request your ex wife to amend custody so you get holidays and summers with the other child. If she doesn't want to do that, drop it and move on.
Do what's best for your real family bro. The family you are married too. They are your first priority. The other child is still a responsibility of yours, but a lesser one. You are not with the mother, and she is lucky you are even considering her when making this choice. Do not spite your new family over a mistake you made 11 years ago. SoCal is expensive, move to Phoenix, Texas wherever..somewhere with a sensible government, and reasonable prices where you can provide a life for your new family.
If you are going to put your old family above your wife and the baby you had together, why did you even have a new kid...to play second fiddle to a child whose mother you aren't married too?
Move on. These people are emotional whiney babies. Do what's best for the people that matter most, your wife and new child. This is man to man speaking. You will regret it forever and you, your wife and your child will forever resent the 11 year old who held you back from having the best life you can. Again dude, why have another kid and family just to put them behind the child of a woman you aren't even with. The ex and the 11 year old are the past, you gonna dwell in the past? Or you gonna make a good future? Your choice.
You are the furthest thing from a man or a father.
Um no. I'm not joking/being sarcastic. I am speaking as a man and as a father and husband.
Your new wife and child are your first priority, they are your family.
1. The 2 year old
2. New wife
3. 11 year old
You have to do what's best for your real family. The family you're married too. Your first priority is them. You never made a vow to your daughter but you did make a vow to your wife and have a child in the marriage.
Move wherever you have to move. Go visit the 11 year old child periodically and request your ex wife to amend custody so you get holidays and summers with the other child. If she doesn't want to do that, drop it and move on.
Do what's best for your real family bro. The family you are married too. They are your first priority. The other child is still a responsibility of yours, but a lesser one. You are not with the mother, and she is lucky you are even considering her when making this choice. Do not spite your new family over a mistake you made 11 years ago. SoCal is expensive, move to Phoenix, Texas wherever..somewhere with a sensible government, and reasonable prices where you can provide a life for your new family.
If you are going to put your old family above your wife and the baby you had together, why did you even have a new kid...to play second fiddle to a child whose mother you aren't married too?
Move on. These people are emotional whiney babies. Do what's best for the people that matter most, your wife and new child. This is man to man speaking. You will regret it forever and you, your wife and your child will forever resent the 11 year old who held you back from having the best life you can. Again dude, why have another kid and family just to put them behind the child of a woman you aren't even with. The ex and the 11 year old are the past, you gonna dwell in the past? Or you gonna make a good future? Your choice.
What is the 11 year old? Disposable goods, that you can just trash when she becomes inconvenient and gets in the way of the OP's "real" life?'
"Move on . . . " is a typical response from someone who can compartmentalize their life without regard to how it affects those around him. Yes, he has a responsibility to his current family -- but that does NOT negate his responsibilities to those OTHER children that he has brought into the world. Yes, other men (and women) do it -- all too often -- and we wonder why our society is so sick, with kids who have no idea of what the terms "commitment", "honor" and "trust" means, who throw away relationships left and right and end up in dysfunctional relationship and turning to drugs and alcohol to fill the hole in their souls because they never grew up with the example of what a loving, committed marriage looks like.
Everyone's needs can be met -- it may not be optimal, and it may not be a "perfect" world for a few years, but hey, no one promised "perfect". But to simply walk away from his relationship with his OTHER child would be cowardly.
Um no. I'm not joking/being sarcastic. I am speaking as a man and as a father and husband.
Your new wife and child are your first priority, they are your family.
1. The 2 year old
2. New wife
3. 11 year old
You have to do what's best for your real family. The family you're married too. Your first priority is them. You never made a vow to your daughter but you did make a vow to your wife and have a child in the marriage.
Move wherever you have to move. Go visit the 11 year old child periodically and request your ex wife to amend custody so you get holidays and summers with the other child. If she doesn't want to do that, drop it and move on.
Do what's best for your real family bro. The family you are married too. They are your first priority. The other child is still a responsibility of yours, but a lesser one. You are not with the mother, and she is lucky you are even considering her when making this choice. Do not spite your new family over a mistake you made 11 years ago. SoCal is expensive, move to Phoenix, Texas wherever..somewhere with a sensible government, and reasonable prices where you can provide a life for your new family.
If you are going to put your old family above your wife and the baby you had together, why did you even have a new kid...to play second fiddle to a child whose mother you aren't married too?
Move on. These people are emotional whiney babies. Do what's best for the people that matter most, your wife and new child. This is man to man speaking. You will regret it forever and you, your wife and your child will forever resent the 11 year old who held you back from having the best life you can. Again dude, why have another kid and family just to put them behind the child of a woman you aren't even with. The ex and the 11 year old are the past, you gonna dwell in the past? Or you gonna make a good future? Your choice.
Maybe he should file for custody of the 11 year old daughter.
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