Neighbor (mom) handsout invite to kids and excludes mine (children, 6 years old, husband)
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But, welcome to the forum. So glad you rushed here from wherever you usually talk to anonymous strangers on the internet to tell us all about the most pressing issue of your day/week/month/year/life to date. It does seem a bit strange to start out here by launching with this type of story ... but different strokes for different folks I guess.
That said ... according to your version, there is little to criticize in how you handled the situation. What is it you want from us though? Confirmation that you did the right thing? For us to blast the neighbour's behaviour even though it seems neither you nor we have any idea of exactly why what seems to have transpired actually happened?
Wow, did you have your coffee this morning? What's the problem? She just wanted to hear others opinions on this issue.
My gut reaction is that the daughter wasn't invited because she didn't invite - no matter the reason. I think your daughter should be made to understand this because it is a standard of party etiquette for both adults and children. In today's day and age of social media, everyone knows who is invited anyway.
If it was me, I'd host a Halloween party for the neighborhood and invite everyone to get it all back on track. You want to have good relations with your neighbors and its fun to have and go to parties.
I can't invite someone to a party I don't know. We didn't know the neighbors at the time. Everyone is fairly new to the neighborhood since its a new subdivision. We all just met this past summer.
So your three questions are irrelevant
Well, maybe this boy's Mom doesn't know you yet. I would think you could make this a less traumatic experience for your daughter, instead of making her think it was a personal attack. Just seems as a parent you could have said something to help her understand rather than feed this entitlement reaction and melt down she had.
And the little boy sitting on your lawn chair probably had no idea which kids were invited, a 5 year old is not processing this event the same way as you were.
If you allow your child to think everything that doesn't go her way is a personal attack, she will develop that negative attitude. Pick your battle grounds wisely....it is shaping her whole attitude for the rest of her life. So, even if you feel one way, you need to help your child feel the right way.
Now, imo....What I would do is make sure that for your daughter's next birthday, you invite all the neighbor kids....Then that will set precedent and I'll bet she will be invited in return., and if not....that will be ok too.
So what? It's still rude to invite some children in front of other children who are not invited.
When I was in first grade, I joined a Brownie Scout troop. This was in the very early 1950's. We lived on the other side of the tracks. At a troop meeting, a scout gave out invites to everyone in the troop but me. I was stricken. My mother spoke to the mother of the scout and was told...."Ellen can invite whoever she wants to come to her party......" I was no longer a Brownie....
65 years later, this person quizzed me about any memories I had of a birthday party, after we reconnected at a class reunion. I never let on that I remembered and she is still a self centered *****. She was still just inflicting pain......
A lot of people aren't really very nice. She professes to be a Christian, as well.
A modern day issue with "Mailing" the invitations is getting the Mailing Address of the Kid/Parent.
You can't just go look them up in the phone book (Anymore). Most people are not listed in them, The ones that may be might many have requested that only the city be listed.
My Son's Elementary school I think did it well, They had a "MailBox" near the office, You could do Invites for parties etc into it. Once a week (Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon I think) the Student Mail was sorted, (They liked it if you put the teacher name / School on it, You could send mail to any student/teacher in the district). The invitation were put into the child's "Friday" folder that was sent home. So you could target the ones you wanted to invite and not do a whole class, As the kids got to upper grades there friends start to get spread out into a number of teachers, The bigger ES had 6 to 8 classes @ each grade level.
As a thing to encourage letter writing the kids could send Real Mail to Grandparents etc. The PTO put postage stamps on them.
Well, maybe this boy's Mom doesn't know you yet. I would think you could make this a less traumatic experience for your daughter, instead of making her think it was a personal attack. Just seems as a parent you could have said something to help her understand rather than feed this entitlement reaction and melt down she had.
And the little boy sitting on your lawn chair probably had no idea which kids were invited, a 5 year old is not processing this event the same way as you were.
If you allow your child to think everything that doesn't go her way is a personal attack, she will develop that negative attitude. Pick your battle grounds wisely....it is shaping her whole attitude for the rest of her life. So, even if you feel one way, you need to help your child feel the right way.
Now, imo....What I would do is make sure that for your daughter's next birthday, you invite all the neighbor kids....Then that will set precedent and I'll bet she will be invited in return., and if not....that will be ok too.
I see your points but they don't relate to my post. Maybe you should read and understand before you respond. On my initial post I said: (1) I DON'T expect my daughter to be invited to all parties and (2) I don't blame the birthday boy because he is a child. The problem was how the mother behaved.
You seem to formulate a whole story in your head about how people think, negative and positive attitudes or how my child behaved after the situation. My daughter was fine after our talk. My post's main point was not my daughter's feeling or the way her "attitudes will develop in life." It was about an adult being a tool to a kid.
When I was in first grade, I joined a Brownie Scout troop. This was in the very early 1950's. We lived on the other side of the tracks. At a troop meeting, a scout gave out invites to everyone in the troop but me. I was stricken. My mother spoke to the mother of the scout and was told...."Ellen can invite whoever she wants to come to her party......" I was no longer a Brownie....
I had almost the exact same experience that you had. I was a Brownie also in first grade, and the troop leader lived two houses down from us. We were also a poor family. Her daughter had a birthday party and invited everyone in the troop except for me. I found out when I just happened to walk past her house one day and saw them all coming out of the party. I knew why, pretty much. This girls father was an architect and my dad was blue collar and we were poor, although we managed to live in a wealthier neighborhood. A year earlier I'd invited her to come over since we were practically neighbors, but she never wanted to and I'm guessing her parents didn't want her in my home either. The only time I was ever at her house was for our troop meetings, since her mom was troop leader.
Of course, it hurt my feelings but I did have an understanding of why. Some people think being poor is a contagious disease.
Well, maybe this boy's Mom doesn't know you yet. I would think you could make this a less traumatic experience for your daughter, instead of making her think it was a personal attack. Just seems as a parent you could have said something to help her understand rather than feed this entitlement reaction and melt down she had.
And the little boy sitting on your lawn chair probably had no idea which kids were invited, a 5 year old is not processing this event the same way as you were.
If you allow your child to think everything that doesn't go her way is a personal attack, she will develop that negative attitude. Pick your battle grounds wisely....it is shaping her whole attitude for the rest of her life. So, even if you feel one way, you need to help your child feel the right way.
Now, imo....What I would do is make sure that for your daughter's next birthday, you invite all the neighbor kids....Then that will set precedent and I'll bet she will be invited in return., and if not....that will be ok too.
I think you need to go back and read the OP's post. Also, her daughter did not have an "entitlement meltdown" she simply got upset. Which would be the normal reaction of many six year old children in this situation.
When I was in first grade, I joined a Brownie Scout troop. This was in the very early 1950's. We lived on the other side of the tracks. At a troop meeting, a scout gave out invites to everyone in the troop but me. I was stricken. My mother spoke to the mother of the scout and was told...."Ellen can invite whoever she wants to come to her party......" I was no longer a Brownie....
65 years later, this person quizzed me about any memories I had of a birthday party, after we reconnected at a class reunion. I never let on that I remembered and she is still a self centered *****. She was still just inflicting pain......
A lot of people aren't really very nice. She professes to be a Christian, as well.
Yep....Grew up just like her Mom huh....Glad you were able to rebuff her by acting like it didn't hurt. What a t.u.r.d.
I think you need to go back and read the OP's post. Also, her daughter did not have an "entitlement meltdown" she simply got upset. Which would be the normal reaction of many six year old children in this situation.
I have read the OP...and I have re-read it for accuracy when posting my comments. I also read the additional comments.
You can disagree, that's what an open opinion forum is all about.
What is your comment on what happened?
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