Why do people think SAHMs will babysit (friends, kids, American)
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I don't think it's common but there are quite a few people who think that because you are a stay at home mom that you must have nothing to do during the day. Some clueless people will take that a step further and believe that because you must not be doing anything, you're available to do things for them during that time. Babysitting is one of those things. Again, not common but there are always a small subset of people who not only think that stay at home moms are just sitting around doing nothing but that because of that, they must be free to help out with whatever one might need help with.
But I remember the 80's & it was different. Moms didn't act entitled; they were grateful. And willing to help if you needed something as well. It was seen as "neighborly".
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I think times have changed, people no longer reciprocate. They do feel entitled.
I’ve been a SAHM for over 7 years and never had anyone ask me to watch their kid for free, except maybe for an hour after school because they had a late appointment or something.
You can bet I would've if she had left that child there.
Oh, you mean with the scam?
It wasn't until the cops came in for coffee and told me she had scammed the gas station across the street that I realized it had been a scam. And she's there with what looked like a 4 year old in pajamas yet! I really believed her, but no way was I going to give her money out of the register.
When it comes to parents wanting to leave their children with a neighbor, I think I would help out IF it was a one time deal only and I knew the parents were in a bind, and also, if there wasn't such an expectation that I would do it. It's one thing to ask someone if they'd like to babysit a kid while the parent is gone, but something else when that parent expects a SAHM to say yes and throws a fit if she says no, or expects the SAHM to babysit on a regular basis for free.
And you know, SAHMs don't need to be busy at home all the time to say she would prefer not to babysit someone else's kids. Maybe the SAHM just wants to take care of her own kids, maybe she likes the down time while her kid is napping so she can clean the house, watch a TV show, or eat lunch. Just because a SAHM isn't running around like a chicken with her head cut off doesn't mean she has a ton of free time and would like to fill it by looking after another child. And no one should assume that.
And you know, SAHMs don't need to be busy at home all the time to say she would prefer not to babysit someone else's kids. Maybe the SAHM just wants to take care of her own kids, maybe she likes the down time while her kid is napping so she can clean the house, watch a TV show, or eat lunch. Just because a SAHM isn't running around like a chicken with her head cut off doesn't mean she has a ton of free time and would like to fill it by looking after another child. And no one should assume that.
I agree. I even know women who stay home, don't have kids and never plan to. But I'd never assume they would want to spend their free time doing errands for me or anyone else. For all I know they could be super busy. Or, they might just enjoy watching t.v. all day and going shopping, which is their right to enjoy that free time.
Right, it's word of mouth, people in the neighborhood tend to learn which parents are home during the day. It's also friends of friends. Most of the moms who congregate on the playground after school are SAHMs. We all know each other's work status. I was asked by a friend, for a friend of hers (a woman I'd never met) to watch her child for a week. She said her regular childcare had fallen through and she was in a bind.
And you are sure she meant for you to watch the child for free? That sounds like she was just putting feelers out to see if you'd be open to babysitting for a week, presumably for pay. And it's very different from a stranger walking up to you and ask you to watch their child, LOL. Yes, I could see a friend saying, "my friend is looking for someone to watch her kid for a week while they're in between daycares. Would you be interested?" I would not assume they meant for no pay. I actually did that once and I was paid what the mom was paying the daycare center for the two weeks that she was in between daycares.
And you are sure she meant for you to watch the child for free? That sounds like she was just putting feelers out to see if you'd be open to babysitting for a week, presumably for pay. And it's very different from a stranger walking up to you and ask you to watch their child, LOL. Yes, I could see a friend saying, "my friend is looking for someone to watch her kid for a week while they're in between daycares. Would you be interested?" I would not assume they meant for no pay. I actually did that once and I was paid what the mom was paying the daycare center for the two weeks that she was in between daycares.
There are lots of daycares in my area, drop-in daycares. She could easily have found something if she was willing to pay. Perhaps she would have offered to pay if I asked. Who knows. Would you leave your 4 year old child with someone you'd never met? I sure wouldn't. I don't think that's safe or smart.
I’ve been a SAHM for over 7 years and never had anyone ask me to watch their kid for free, except maybe for an hour after school because they had a late appointment or something.
Agree. I was never asked either or anyone other SAHM I knew...
There are lots of daycares in my area, drop-in daycares. She could easily have found something if she was willing to pay. Perhaps she would have offered to pay if I asked. Who knows. Would you leave your 4 year old child with someone you'd never met? I sure wouldn't. I don't think that's safe or smart.
I wouldn't, but I know people who would. But right, I'd forgotten that you have drop-in daycares. We don't have anything like that here.
Word of mouth. Not sure why you are needing to invalidate the op's experience.
There is a world of difference between saying “someone said this to me” and making a whole thread generalizing “why do people think SAHMs will babysit”. One is personal experience, and the other is so far beyond making generalizations as to be ridiculous.
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