Why do stay-at-home moms complain so much? (girls, chart, hubby)
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Eh...I think that we tend to notice more (and give more credence) when "they" are complaining than when "we" are complaining.
Agree with this.
FWIW, most of the "complaining" that I've experienced (both listened to and done myself) is less a function of SAH vs. working, and more specific to whatever situation is being complained about, like some particular problem with an illness, doctor, teacher, behavior, etc. I am apparently fortunate that I'm not on the receiving end of much "woe is me". Most people seem proud of and generally content with their choices.
Quote:
Originally Posted by MissTerri
This calls for a couple of new and exciting labels to help to further divide moms.
EWOHM (executive working out of the home moms) VS HWOHM (hourly working out of the home moms).
Can we add a middle category for those of us who are salaried but in more technical roles, i.e. not necessarily managing large teams or budgets.
There is a big difference between a mom who works and a working mom in the corporate world.
You are a mom that works. I suspect that your job pays under $25 an hour, and you're paid based upon time. You (literally or figuratively) punch in and punch out and when you are not at your place of employment you probably have little to no work demands on your time. Many SAHMs transition to this once the kids are in school as they have some hours to fill that also generate some income.
A working mom, at least the many I know in the corporate world, are career women who have children. There was no transition to SAHM after maternity leave expired. There is no hourly rate, as they are paid a salary, generally a good one. They may manage a large team and/or a large budget. They get calls at all hours or need to be on email over the weekend. They need to travel as necessary. If you've never done it then no offense but you have no clue of what you are saying. My wife is traveling next week and has a conference call tomorrow morning at 7am. We juggle.
.
Sorry, but I think the hourly wage working women have it harder. Some of them may not even qualify for maternity leave if their company isn't large enough and they are often treated as more disposable, so more likely to lose their jobs if they become pregnant or leave work to care for a child. Also, with less money they have less resources for back up childcare. So although you view your wife's career as more important and difficult than the "hourly wage" workers, I'd still say there are disadvantages and hardships to being an hourly wage worker.
Sorry, but I think the hourly wage working women have it harder. Some of them may not even qualify for maternity leave if their company isn't large enough and they are often treated as more disposable, so more likely to lose their jobs if they become pregnant or leave work to care for a child. Also, with less money they have less resources for back up childcare. So although you view your wife's career as more important and difficult than the "hourly wage" workers, I'd still say there are disadvantages and hardships to being an hourly wage worker.
+1.
This is devolving into a new round of the Suffering Olympics: the Mom who has a personal assistant vs the Mom who is a personal assistant.
Last edited by Ginge McFantaPants; 01-24-2018 at 01:50 PM..
Well, not everyone is perfect. I'll be the first one to admit that I didn't see that sock by the kid's bed, or forgot that there are some dishes that need to emptied from the dishwasher. Likewise, my wife hates it when I point out that the way she loaded the dishwasher means it won't get clean. Or how the stereo system works. But these are minor nits in an otherwise healthy relationship.
It sounds as though your issues are deep-rooted and getting worse, and perhaps some professional advice might be in order for your relationship.
Thanks for the advice and illustrating so very clearly why I was so hesitant about posting on this thread.
Any grown, intelligent person - man or woman - should understand dishes should be scraped before going in the sink and even possibly placing them in the dishwasher and pressing "wash."
But I get it. I'm just a stupid SAHM who has too much expectations of everyone but herself.
Thanks for the advice and illustrating so very clearly why I was so hesitant about posting on this thread.
Any grown, intelligent person - man or woman - should understand dishes should be scraped before going in the sink and even possibly placing them in the dishwasher and pressing "wash."
But I get it. I'm just a stupid SAHM who has too much expectations of everyone but herself.
I get your frustration with this, although I don't personally deal with it. I'm amused by the suggestion that if you just sat down with everyone once and explained your expectations, the light bulb would go off in their heads and things would magically resolve. I mean, it's clearly your fault for not speaking up, right (<= sarcasm)? I agree that picking up after oneself would seem to be common sense, but as time goes on I am continually amazed at how deep the sense of entitlement runs in some people, and that you can't reason it out of them.
Well, not everyone is perfect. I'll be the first one to admit that I didn't see that sock by the kid's bed, or forgot that there are some dishes that need to emptied from the dishwasher. Likewise, my wife hates it when I point out that the way she loaded the dishwasher means it won't get clean. Or how the stereo system works. But these are minor nits in an otherwise healthy relationship.
It sounds as though your issues are deep-rooted and getting worse, and perhaps some professional advice might be in order for your relationship.
Yup.
BOTH parents need to admit they're not perfect, and to adjust expectations upward and/or downward to maintain a happy home.
I've been doing laundry for 25+ years, but I do it differently than my SAHM/W does it. Clothes get clean. I'm not changing how I do it.
I think the complaining depends on whether you care about the topic. If a mother is complaining about work related items in your office or rush hour traffic, it's probably not perceived as "over complaining" because you care about the topic or can relate. You don't care about the cost of diapers, or faulty play ground equipment so it comes across as "always complaining".
It's a perception thing.
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