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Ah, jeezus louizus...
I don't know why I went down this rabbit hole, but after seeing the above link, I saw that in that link there was a reference to an earlier post: //www.city-data.com/forum/non-r...etween-gf.html
OP: Obviously your entire family has issues. Pick your wife or your family. There is drama caused by both sides. Accept they are not getting along, and concentrate on your wife and your kids. You've known the deal for years now.
I followed that rabbit hole too! It doesn't sound like his family is innocent in all this.
The family may have treated her poorly from the jump because they could see how horrid she is, no?
That was my thinking ad well. The OP has multiple posts about his wife's horrible behavior that has nothing to do with his family. He had also implied that they had lived with his parents at one point while dating. I think the parents got a front row seat to the wife's behavior during this time, and did not like what they saw.
A lot of the threads make the wife sound like a toddler. Not brushing her teeth and throwing a tantrum because she wasnt given any cookie dough is behavior I would expect from a 2 year old, not a women in her 20s/30s.
"My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law."
Does your wife not see the ridiculousness of this?
-Brother and his wife get a new house in the summer. My Mom is furious because my GF doesn't have the time to see it or is unaware she would feel uncomfortable over there. His wife has been nasty to my GF in the past though everyone looks at his wife as the second coming of Christ. When I'm with the rest of the family, all they ever talked about was the house. Even on my birthday, my parents had me over with my brother but instead of all that was going on about me, they talked about the house 90% of the time. we were ignored most of the time. My Mom harasses me about my GF not seeing the house all the time (I've seen it 4-5 times by myself).
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You are blaming your wife because you didn't deal with your family issues earlier. Having children multiples unresolved family issues. Stand up to your family.
Long story short, I am now the black sheep of my family because I've been with a girl for almost 3 years and there's certain aspects of her personality my family dislikes. She has also been insulted by them behind her back numerous times so every time she's around (or we are), they put up a facade and pretend like everything is hunky dory. We're all moved out at this point so it's not that often that we all see each other.
I'm not really going to get into all the details, but both of us are having a lot of struggles in life right now whereas the rest of my family is blooming. Here are some examples:
-Brother and his wife get a new house in the summer. My Mom is furious because my GF doesn't have the time to see it or is unaware she would feel uncomfortable over there. His wife has been nasty to my GF in the past though everyone looks at his wife as the second coming of Christ. When I'm with the rest of the family, all they ever talked about was the house. Even on my birthday, my parents had me over with my brother but instead of all that was going on about me, they talked about the house 90% of the time. we were ignored most of the time. My Mom harasses me about my GF not seeing the house all the time (I've seen it 4-5 times by myself).
- Brother and his wife are having a baby next April. My GF's father has been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and is on his death bed. Her family may be losing the house he lives in. On top of that, we're both really busy with work and I'm going to grad classes 4 times a week at night. My mom is complaining that my GF hasn't sent them a congratulatory note or any acknowledgement....
- Because of my GF's father probably having his last THanksgiving this year, I decided to spend the whole holiday with her family. My mom still put up a fight. To show the double standard, my sister spent the holiday with her fiance's family the whole and she did not put up a fight on that front.
- My mom finds it appalling that my GF simply doesn't like my brother's wife, despite them being cordial enough in front of each other.
Overall, sounds like my family (mom in particular) is trying to make situations that cause conflict between my GF and I. It's destroying me emotionally.
No real question here, but more of a rant to get things off my chest.
You are blaming your wife because you didn't deal with your family issues earlier. Having children multiples unresolved family issues. Stand up to your family.
As often happens, he married someone just like his mom. He won't stand up to his wife because he's afraid she'll leave him. There is someone in my family like this. Luckily we don't see this person often, but they have ruined the life of my family member. So I feel for the OP because he is powerless to deal with this. Sad situation all around. Therapy is a great idea, but she probably doesn't admit she has a problem at all, so it is doubtful that therapy would help anything.
This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?
I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.
My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.
Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.
So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
Your wife chooses to make everybody her enemy instead of allies. What should be a joyous time will instead be an unnecessary rivalry. This whole attitude is destructive rather than constructive, and will have far reaching repercussions for you and your children in the years to come.
This can't be normal can it? Has anyone seen a situation like this?
I just found out today that my brother and his wife are pregnant with their second kid...they just hit the 12 week mark and the baby will be due early December. They have another kid who is 3. My wife and I have a son that is 15 months and are also expecting a second baby around early December.
My wife hates my brother's wife and thinks my parents favor her/them much more over us....that's probably because my niece gets to see my parents all the time and with my kid, my wife puts moratoriums on when my parents can visit our son..like every 2 weeks or so. To add insult to injury, my wife also dislikes my niece because she came from my sister in law.
Needless to say my wife is not only pissed they are having a second kid at all, but also that he/she will be born around the same time as our second one. She had a cute idea to announce to my family on father's day, but now she just wants me to text them or call them...not even tell them in person ! (They live 15 minutes away). She thinks now that our second kid will be irrelevant beause my brother's second kid will be the hot topic of the year from my parents' perspective.
So I ask - this isn't normal is it? Has anyone else had any family drama where kids from the same general family are born around the week? I try to tell her "just focus on our two kids", but I have the feeling I'm going to be the target of her envy and disappointment for a long time...as if I can control when other people decide to have babies.
This is not normal at all. She needs professional help.
My heart goes out to you and your family.
A lot of women don't want their pregnancy overshadowed by another pregnant friend or relative. The rest of the stuff your wife is the problem.
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