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I have someone in my life who is like your wife. I am not of that personality so it makes me sad.
You need to have some serious discussions with your wife. I'm not sure if she is insecure or what the problem is. We all only get so much time on this earth. It's in everyone's best interest to love and get along.
OP, when your parents come over, do they spend their time talking about your brother's child or making developmental-milestone comparisons to yours? Maybe your wife is angry because she sees this happening.
Yes, if this is happening then it would be a problem.
While, my in-laws were very good about many things they never could understand why it was not OK to tell our ten year son about taking their other ten year old grandson on an exciting vacation (when they did not take our son anywhere). Or telling our teenage son and daughter about the car that they bought for their other grandson's sixteenth birthday (when they only gave our children a card and a twenty dollar bill for their sixteenth birthday).
I was not upset that they treated their other grandson differently, but, IMHO, it was rude "to rub it in" in front of their other grandchildren.
Last edited by germaine2626; 06-03-2018 at 08:25 AM..
Ok come on now...don't pile on the OP for allowing his wife to set limits. If his wife came on and told her side of the story and it sounded like she had a point, we would be all "rabble rabble rabble, your husband needs to support your boundaries with his family"
This problem could have easily been avoided if all adults in the family had signed an official and binding INTERCOURSE SCHEDULE AGREEMENT prior to engaging in any physical contact.
I'm sure if you Google it, you could find a lawyer somewhere willing to draw one up for you, for a price.
BTW, I am laughing so hard and so loudly at this preposterous thread, I woke my sleeping son and scared the dog.
Okay I've been through this thread top to bottom and I am starting to think that your wife was never on good terms with your family to begin with. Could be that she doesn't have a lot in common, could be that people are not including her into the conversation, could be that people are not including her into activities. Could be a lot of things.
Also wondering if you're frustrated with the situation and you've stopped trying, because it is like oil and water, with your family and your wife.
There is a lot unspoken here. I'm not saying that everyone else is wrong and that the situation is normal but I am wondering what the backstory is.
Was your brother the golden child of the family? That often makes a difference how a spouse is treated/looked upon.
Maybe your brother's wife treats your parents nicer than YOUR wife? That also often makes a difference.
Take a LOOK at the situation before you go any further with your wife's discontent. SO WHAT if they are having babies at the same time. This is your child, that is your brother's child. If your parents treat them differently, either figure out why and say something, or put up with it. I just hope when they are older, that the children don't sense the difference. THEN FOR SURE, I'd speak up and point it out to your parents.
You and your wife should just enjoy your child, never mind if your child isn't in the spotlight with grandparents.
I feel sorry for you OP, it sounds like your wife is the one with the problem.
My sister in law and my wife don't get along either. For some history, my sister in law is 11 months older than my wife. She's 34, my wife is 33. I'm 40 now.
A few years back, we started to try to have kids, because I was a lot older than my wife and I didn't want to be too old by the time a child would graduate high school, college, etc.
So my wife got pregnant, and we waited the typical 3 months to get through the first trimester before telling everyone. Turns out however, that my sister in law and her husband were also expecting... about 1.5 months behind us.
So of course, the older sister is pissed that the younger sister beat her to it, younger sister gave their parents the first grandchild, etc. Tells my wife that she shouldn't have had kids before her, it was HER turn... yeah.
It got so ridiculous that eventually I stepped in and asked how old she and her husband were... Oh, really? You're 6 years younger than me? Then I guess it's MY turn to have kids first.
Needless to say, we don't speak to them any longer, which I'm sorry for because my daughter will never get to know her cousins, but I think it's better this way. Very self centered people and they cause drama in anything that comes up among my wife's family.
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