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I do not believe in beating ANYONE. IMO, a spank is not a beating.
A good swat on the butt is needed in some cases. I also think getting the strap by a principal on a child's hand should be brought back to the school system.
Children these days have NO respect for anyone because they have no recognition or learning from the discipline given to them by parents or teachers or anyone else (which is next to nil if anything at all) Sitting and talking to children is ineffective. They just tune out and repeat the offence or worse.
Go to a school yard and watch what goes on these days. Kids tell teachers to f-off, hit them, walk away, ignore them, trash their classrooms, etc. The teachers and principals do nothing.
Bullying is at an all time high because nothing is done.
Out of school suspension... re: sending them home as punishment is a joke. They sit and watch tv or play games all day while their parents are at work. Totally ineffective. It is sickening.
I would encourage you to actually get out more. Broaden that perspective. The blanket statements are rather one sided.
I mentor inner city teens. Most from single parent homes. Can't recall the behavior you describe being the norm. But what do I know ..I'm too busy influencing positive regard vs limiting a view that is archaic.
Disclaimer - I am asian.
2-4 decades ago (1980s, 1990s), I would say beating your children as discipline was kinda sorta common and not abnormal. How is it these days in 2010s? Is it still common? If no, what changed in past couple decades?
Asking for USA
LOL! No it is not common and it wasn't in the 80's and 90's either. It might have been common back in the 50's, but definitely not now. What has changed? Parents realized that hitting a child doesn't resolve anything and it doesn't make them a better person either. There are much better ways to discipline a child!
While there is more awareness of what constitutes physical abuse of minors ( thank you internet!). It hasn't produced a substantial decline in certain geographical areas. The Bible belt still encourages the spare the rod ,spoil the child. Schools still inject corporal punishment. Guardians still have poor skills in human interaction. It's a fine line for some to balance the physical infliction or restraint.
I recall back in the 1990's taking a parenting class. I desired to 'do better'. Imagine my surprise when the instructor encouraged physical harm to ensure 'obediance'. I simply could not invoke such. Weeks later from taking the course. Was given a survey of the course. I mentioned the positive points and mentioned the instructors advocacy for physical harm. The administrator called me and said. I must have been mistaken. Should have known then that the world was about to turn upside down and sideways in deflecting responsibility.
I made some poor reactions to my kids...not proud . And certainly don't support physical bodily harm.
Hitting is hitting, period! A spank or slap is just as bad as a beating IMHO! Both can scar a child mentally.
Hitting is hitting, period! A spank or slap is just as bad as a beating IMHO! Both can scar a child mentally.
Exactly. A boss would never hit a worker to discipline them. If someone hit me, they'd get arrested for assault. Why is hitting (spanking is physically hitting) a child ok in some peoples' minds?
I grew up in the 1950s and while my parents regularly threatened me with a spanking, I remember only two instances when I actually got one. I forget what I did the first time, but I was probably nine years old the second time. I'd gone out on my bicycle with two friends and decided to stay behind a while when they went home. It was probably a half hour or so. Well, my mom was like a crazy person when I returned, hauled me across her knees and let me have it. It was probably about a half dozen swats but it felt like forever. When she released me I was in tears of course, but so angry at her for (what I saw as) overreacting that I screamed "I hate you!" at her before running off to my room.
Fast forward decades later to a day when my son was about 3 years old and had just done something that he not only knew was a no-no but was also dangerous. Probably climbing on something or other, I honestly don't recall exactly what it was. I was so desperate to impress upon him that he should NEVER EVER do that again (words having been tried before but obviously had not worked), that I gave him one single swat on his butt.... and immediately felt like a monster, even though he probably barely felt it because he was wearing a diaper (he didn't get the hang of toilet training until he was almost four.) That was one and only time I ever used corporal punishment, and I never threatened him with it either before or since.
Those are not the only alternatives. Spanking may increase aggression in a child no matter their background and it is mostly children who are spanked who end up in jail. Spanking also slows down mental development and lowers the probability of a child doing well in school. Spanking is unheard of on Israeli Kibbutzes.
Exactly. A boss would never hit a worker to discipline them. If someone hit me, they'd get arrested for assault. Why is hitting (spanking is physically hitting) a child ok in some peoples' minds?
Because a very young pre school kid is not that capable at rational explanations of why they should not do things. Another reason is that with very young kids you may need to do something fast to make an impression--like a swat on the bottom if they are starting to run into the road or a slap on the hand if they are about to touch a hot stove.
The tiny bit of pain gets through to the just in time to prevent major injury so it is the lesser of two evils--by far.
Real spankings probably don't happen very often anymore but they were common in the 1950s and in certain case, with certain kids, they worked. But routine hard spanking never is a good idea. If kids have ever been actually beaten in this country, it was by a crazy person. No one should be anybody. A swat is different from a painful, hard physical beating.
It never fails. There's always an advocate for beating a child...
Sadly, it's ignorant because it's counter-productive. Study after study shows a link between children who receiving 'corporal punishment' (ie, beatings and the like) and higher degrees of violent criminality (including domestic violence) later in life.
Of course, the comeback is always "Well, they should have been beaten more!", as if the problem is that they didn't receive enough beatings.
Study after study has shown that since we decided not spanking kids would make them less violent -there has been a steady increase in incarceration of violent offenders
Study after study has shown that since we decided not spanking kids would make them less violent -there has been a steady increase in incarceration of violent offenders
That's interesting. Back when people still disciplined their kids (not beating) with very occasional spankings we never heard about violence once they grew up. Now practically all we hear about is people stabbing and shooting other people. Could be something to it.
Thanks to research, we now know that physical punishment is not effective in the long run and is associated strongly and very clearly with a host of negative social, emotional, and developmental outcomes.
So many allegations.
So little backup, proof, or even references.
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