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Lot of opinions here but NOT one person has stated the exact number of kids they raised and the experiences therein.
My mother raised just me and tried to tell me how to raise and/or disipline my kids. My wife from a former marriage had two and we together had five more...seven altogether.
Now this was a family and bound to be a problem with one or more using the % factor.
Always had one boy that was stretching the limit with me and as a result he got the switch and belt on more then one occasion. I hated to do this but it also was a lesson to the others NOT to cross the "good person" line and thankfully things worked out well with all of them.
The one that gave me the headache has a daughter and a son...soon to be a grandfather with the daughter that got married last year. The son got the (threatened belt) treatment and things worked out well with him in that respect. So you see both threats of punishment can have good results.
As for me, I grew uop in the 30's so am from the real old school. There are a few on C-D that are a little younger then me as one person referred to the 50's as being a bad time period re punishment as child abuse.
Never having gone around the barn a few times they have NO idea.
Cannot recall who said it..."spare the rod and spoil the child".
We have 5 children, 2 that are now on their own, graduated from college with careers, a junior in high school, a 7th grader and a 4th grader. We never "took the belt" to any of them but they were spanked at one time or another. (I am of the opinion that there is a difference in "taking a belt" to someone and spanking) We always spanked with our hands so we knew how hard we were hitting. That being said it has been a very long time since anyone got a spanking and with their ages doubt very seriously if there will ever be another need for spanking in our house, there are much more effective ways of discipline for them.
I am in my early 50s and remember the days when parents were not your friends but in many cases your worst nightmare. I remember parents of some of my friends were really scary and if you crossed them they would come at you hard.
One parent liked to use his belt on the kids and when they did wrong he had a system where they pulled down their pants and the belt was used to give them a real whooping. I can still remember the yells and screams of the kids as the belt hit their buts!
So, do parents use a belt anymore on their kids?
I'm in my late 40s and I remember my father using "the strap" on us. To this day (he's deceased), I still hate him for it. It served no purpose other than him venting his frustrations on innocent children who could not fight back. I wish he was alive some times so I could tell him exactly what I thought of him and how much I hate him for what he did to us.
As far as today's parents? I think they took the complete opposite route. Keep in mind, there is a generation jump. I think when the 60s kids became parents (kids born in the 80s), they were very loose with their kids, were "friends" with their kids, and let their kids do/say whatever they wanted and thought it was "cute" or "precocious" when their kids wise-talked or backtalked adults.
Those 80s kids are having kids now in the 00s and I think they're finally coming to some kind of medium with discipline without assaulting the child and teaching the kids more respect for others and less prejudices/judgments about others (whether it be race, religions, social status, disability).
I was always slapped, hard, across the mouth for back talking, arguing, etc. To this day, I can still feel the sting. When I'd talk back, my grandmother (who lived with us) would say to my mother, "Give her some (racist term) lips", meaning slap me so hard across the mouth that my lips would swell, grabbing my arms with one hand so I couldn't cover my face, and slapping me repeatedly with the other hand. My kids would tend to get mouthy with me, but I'd remind them of what I had to go through, and that I would NEVER do that to them. They'd always try to be more respectful and appreciative of my authority, but I WOULD listen to what they had to say. And anything in our house was open to debate within reason, if it was done civilly. Even kids are entitled to an opinion, if they state it respectfully. It didn't necessarily mean I caved, but at least they knew they would be listened to without getting hit.
I actually did take a belt to my older son once. I have punished him by sitting down, talking to him about his mistake and then very calmly spanking him (not in anger). Once, he smirked at me and told me, "That didn't even hurt." I said, "Oh really?" and took the belt down off the wall. I never spanked him again.
I can't tell you why, but I have never spanked his brother who is 9 yrs younger. I think maturity has caused me to come up with more creative solutions. More than once I have asked him to come up with a punishment. He always came up with something more strict that I would have.
Here are a few I have used:
Misbehaving at school? Write an apology letter to the child who was offended or the teacher.
Messy room? Any toys on the floor are confiscated for a period of time.
Attitude problem? Here I use a preventive approach. Most snotty attitudes are learned, sometimes from the parents. If we don't watch ourselves, a sarcastic, nasty tone will creep into our speech. But if this is still a problem, I sit down and talk to my son about the meaning of respect. This works well.
Of course, ALL children are different. My two boys are like night and day. My older son made a game out of defiance. If you only have children like my younger son, then it's EASY to look down your nose at people who get desperate and flail around for solutions. So, watch out when you judge people with more difficult children!
I am in my early 50s and remember the days when parents were not your friends but in many cases your worst nightmare. I remember parents of some of my friends were really scary and if you crossed them they would come at you hard.
One parent liked to use his belt on the kids and when they did wrong he had a system where they pulled down their pants and the belt was used to give them a real whooping. I can still remember the yells and screams of the kids as the belt hit their buts!
So, do parents use a belt anymore on their kids?
Yes I get my leather strap. take the kids behind the woodshed make them drop their overalls and give them 50 lashings, reciting bible verses each time I swing the strap at their ass...then I curse the devil for making my kids be bad..
i didnt read through all 24!!! pages of this but heres my deal:
A swat on the bottom is WAY different (imo) than a belt or a beating. We know a couple who DOES use a belt on their twin 3 YO boys and their 12 yo dd (who by the way, hubby and i both see her being one of those 'problem' teens- and shes not even there yet!).
My son (age 4) is a happy go lucky full of creativity and mischief. OVerall though, hes a pretty good kid (if not a bit on the whiny side sometimes LOL) Her kids are CONSTANTLY in trouble and doing things they really should know better than (and there are no disabilities or anything to take into consideration). When I watch them, they are pretty good, and when not, they get stuck in the corner for a few minutes. lesson learned.
Different methods work for different kids, but I do not believe that a belt is ever the answer. It is far too harsh a punishment on children that young (i know they were doing it when the kids were 1, as thats when I met her). Simple redirection works most of the time for young kiddos like that. Heck, even for my 4 year old it works 80% of the time
Like I said, a swift swat on the bottom is fine (when used sparingly) but using any corporal punishment constantly, imo, is not teaching anything.
Evidently they do! My daughter came home from school one day and asked me what "getting the belt" meant. When I asked her where she heard it she said her friend said that she got in trouble for throwing the cat out the window and got the belt for it. I think a belt is too much for a first grader, spanking is sufficient if its warranted. Knowing this girl and her parents I was shocked to hear that they used this form of punishment and wondered what they would think if they knew she was telling her friends.
Thank God there are others still still believe in the old fashioned "ass whoppin"
A little ray of light to know that there are still people that believe in the good ole ass whoppin. The sad thing is that as we all know we aren't "allowed" to give defiant children the good ole ass whoppin. I have 2 boys. My oldest will be 6 in October and his little brother will be 4 in October. I am litteraly at my wits end with what to do. I have exhausted every pathetic option from time outs that don't work to taking away any privelage I can think of, and NOTHING works except for a good ole ass whoppin. I am only 26, and most from my time frown upon the belief of ass whoppin and everyone is so damn CPS happy where I live that its frustrating. I have had an open CPS case for over 2 months now because of the inability to bust their ass when they act up. The only options us parents are "allowed" to use are a damn joke. When I was a kid if I acted a quarter as bad as this generation of children I got my ass busted, not time outs, and that worked. What boggles my brain is that society doesn't understand why children are commiting crime younger and younger and its like DUH!!!!!! Instead of a good ass whoppin let's make them act right by buying them a PS3 or the newest phone on the market and hello its not working. Yeah let's reward bad bahavior, are you joking? But what can you do? You bust your kids ass and poof there's a CPS worker knocking at your front door. My kids are so damn defiant thanks to this CPS **** that I don't know what to do. I just want my kids to grow up right and not behind a jail cell or dead at a young age, what is so wrong with that? I am honestly sickened by todays society. Kiss your kids ass if you don't want a CPS case and its bull****. Does anyone have any good ideas or thoughts on what to do that is "allowed"? Its sad that I have to be scared to be a good parent.
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Thank God there are others still still believe in the old fashioned "ass whoppin"
