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You said... "I say if a toddler runs into traffic his parent should be slapped because if you're close to traffic and you aren't keeping your toddler safe and by your side, you're totally screwing up as a parent."
Just wondering...did you slap yourself after your daughter ran toward that intersection into danger, or did you let your husband do it?
I was making the point that if someone needs to be hit in that situation, it's the parent and not the child. I've punished myself plenty over what happened and more importantly, stuck close to my daughter until she was old enough to appreciate the danger of running into the street.
If NOT spanking is such an effective discipline technique, why do people have to repeat themselves more than once, for the same behavior. How insulting.
Discipline is a matter of teaching a child how to behave and requires repetition and consistency regardless of how you do it. If corporal punishment is no better than other non-corporal methods, why use it?
Here, let me answer that. Because the person who hits cannot control his or her temper and strikes a child in anger? Because the person is a bully, determined to use force to show a small defenseless child who is boss? Because the person fears he or she is losing control over a situation? Because the person is downright cruel?
There are lots of answers, but none of them are because hitting a child is more effective than other non-corporal methods of discipline.
One of the backing pieces.
She had words carved into it like "sassing" "backtalk" "attitude" stuff like that.
It was the dumbest thing ever.
She used it because she always hurt her hand spanking us.
Discipline is a matter of teaching a child how to behave and requires repetition and consistency regardless of how you do it. If corporal punishment is no better than other non-corporal methods, why use it?
Here, let me answer that. Because the person who hits cannot control his or her temper and strikes a child in anger? Because the person is a bully, determined to use force to show a small defenseless child who is boss? Because the person fears he or she is losing control over a situation? Because the person is downright cruel?
I am as staunch an advocate as any for other techniques. But this is just not accurate. It is a matter of being misguided and misunderstanding, not willful hate.
And I can understand where it comes from. My father spanked us, much to his dismay, because the bible and his church told him to, because he thought it was good for us. Misguided. Misguided by a church that had the right idea, don't spoil your kids, but didn't know much about children.
For many people, it is what we knew/know. I remember when my son was small, I wound my hand up to strike his little bottom. That is where we were. That is how I was raised. That is what I knew. (That is also when I went on my own little self study on every piece of discipline advice there was. I even read the focus on the family nonsense before discarding it. That is where I got my triumvirate of books I prattle about at any opportunity.)
To add to the confusion, many people view seeking out information about parenting is somehow wrong. I remember my FIL getting all exasperated with me for reading books about parenting. I should be parenting by *instinct* he vehemently insisted. Instinct is great if I want to teach my kids to survive in the wild. But our civilized life is a lot more complicated than that.
Anyway my point is, if you want to affect a change in people's outlook, you may get a hit now and then with reason. But if you tell people that they are just big fat meanies, you will completely lose them, AND any lurker who might otherwise be listening to you.
Discipline is a matter of teaching a child how to behave and requires repetition and consistency regardless of how you do it. If corporal punishment is no better than other non-corporal methods, why use it?
Here, let me answer that. Because the person who hits cannot control his or her temper and strikes a child in anger? Because the person is a bully, determined to use force to show a small defenseless child who is boss? Because the person fears he or she is losing control over a situation? Because the person is downright cruel?
There are lots of answers, but none of them are because hitting a child is more effective than other non-corporal methods of discipline.
AWESOME post. I wish I were as articulate in my arguments.
OMG and WTH?????? Let's understand one clear point: NO one exists to *PLEASE* ANYONE else. Where do people get such notions? That is a problem with boundaries. So prevalent today. Not solved by hitting each other, I dare say.
Last edited by MOMdotCOM2011; 09-09-2011 at 03:17 PM..
She used it because she always hurt her hand spanking us.
SILLY isn't it, when you really reason it all out? What really is the point of hitting ANYone else to get your way? That in itself is immature and lacks any coping skills or imagination.
I am as staunch an advocate as any for other techniques. But this is just not accurate. It is a matter of being misguided and misunderstanding, not willful hate.
And I can understand where it comes from. My father spanked us, much to his dismay, because the bible and his church told him to, because he thought it was good for us. Misguided. Misguided by a church that had the right idea, don't spoil your kids, but didn't know much about children.
For many people, it is what we knew/know. I remember when my son was small, I wound my hand up to strike his little bottom. That is where we were. That is how I was raised. That is what I knew. (That is also when I went on my own little self study on every piece of discipline advice there was. I even read the focus on the family nonsense before discarding it. That is where I got my triumvirate of books I prattle about at any opportunity.)
To add to the confusion, many people view seeking out information about parenting is somehow wrong. I remember my FIL getting all exasperated with me for reading books about parenting. I should be parenting by *instinct* he vehemently insisted. Instinct is great if I want to teach my kids to survive in the wild. But our civilized life is a lot more complicated than that.
Anyway my point is, if you want to affect a change in people's outlook, you may get a hit now and then with reason. But if you tell people that they are just big fat meanies, you will completely lose them, AND any lurker who might otherwise be listening to you.
You got THAT right! Anyone who gets on here, puffing up their chest saying, "Anyone who spanks their kid is a BULLY and a control freak and is not a good parent", has a whole lot to learn about life and people, in general. Anyone who knows me personally, would tell you what a great mom I am, what a loving mom I am. I couldn't count the people who've come to me and told me how much my kids love and respect me.
By the way, for people to make such ignorant assumptions about whether "spankers" have or have not read damn near every book out there on child rearing is simply that.....an ignorant assumption. Some of us are p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n-i-s-t-s. We want to do things excellently. Why? Because that's the way we're hardwired. For some of us, that includes wanting to be the best parents in the world. In order to do that, we've bought into the gimick of every book, bent the ears and gleaned every last bit of every information from every "good" parent we knew, etc.
Here' where the trouble starts though....every child is different. For people to jump on their soapbox and accuse parents who have spanked their kids, of being (basically), stupid, redneck bullies, shows just how ignorant some people can be. Yeah, I got my a$$ paddled. So friggin' what? Big deal! I also came away from home knowing how to cook, sew, run a house, grow my own food (including meat), put up all of that food (canning & freezing), BY the age of 17 years old! My parents did a fantastic job of raising an ADULT...a person who knew how to work for a living, knew how to treat others and how to be a critical thinker.
Here's the ironic thing about critical thinking...you don't need a book to tell you how to do everything. Funny thing about critical thinkers too...they don't believe or fall for everything they read or hear. If it sounds too good to be true...it probably is. Either you are one or you're not. For those telling everyone else how to parent THEIR own children....do a little bit of "critical thinking"...cuz you might be completely wrong.
You got THAT right! Anyone who gets on here, puffing up their chest saying, "Anyone who spanks their kid is a BULLY and a control freak and is not a good parent", has a whole lot to learn about life and people, in general. Anyone who knows me personally, would tell you what a great mom I am, what a loving mom I am. I couldn't count the people who've come to me and told me how much my kids love and respect me.
By the way, for people to make such ignorant assumptions about whether "spankers" have or have not read damn near every book out there on child rearing is simply that.....an ignorant assumption. Some of us are p-e-r-f-e-c-t-i-o-n-i-s-t-s. We want to do things excellently. Why? Because that's the way we're hardwired. For some of us, that includes wanting to be the best parents in the world. In order to do that, we've bought into the gimick of every book, bent the ears and gleaned every last bit of every information from every "good" parent we knew, etc.
Here' where the trouble starts though....every child is different. For people to jump on their soapbox and accuse parents who have spanked their kids, of being (basically), stupid, redneck bullies, shows just how ignorant some people can be. Yeah, I got my a$$ paddled. So friggin' what? Big deal! I also came away from home knowing how to cook, sew, run a house, grow my own food (including meat), put up all of that food (canning & freezing), BY the age of 17 years old! My parents did a fantastic job of raising an ADULT...a person who knew how to work for a living, knew how to treat others and how to be a critical thinker.
Here's the ironic thing about critical thinking...you don't need a book to tell you how to do everything. Funny thing about critical thinkers too...they don't believe or fall for everything they read or hear. If it sounds too good to be true...it probably is. Either you are one or you're not. For those telling everyone else to parent....do a little bit of "critical thinking"...cuz you might be completely wrong.
Enough said - best post on the thread
They should just close this thing down now.
Some of these people may not be spankers, but they sure are bullies.
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"Insulting?"
