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I found volunteering to be totally disorganized. I always signed up to volunteer for various things, never received any communication about it, my calls and emails went unanswered (umm..I'd like to volunteer, I signed up, don't you have anything for me to do to help?) I found over the years volunteering is a close-knit club, access to which is jealously guarded. There's a little group of mothers who run everything, they wouldn't let you volunteer fo fear of having an "outsider" in their midst.
These are the mothers who complain about lack of involvement from other parents, complain they do all the work, yadda, yadda, but if you try to help you're shunned, it reminds me of my high school days when everything was run by a little clique.
Well, my kids are in middle school now, all that drops out, they don't want a group of mothers hanging there all day making a passtime out of "volunteering". I just send in money for fundraisers and steer clear!
The teachers lack of communication makes me want to steer clear, but I know that would probably be worse in the long run. If I spend some time in the classroom maybe I can figure her out a little more. I will go back to work in a couple years, so I want to be involved now while I can. *sigh*
Our teachers usually welcome help with: scholastic book orders, coming in and helping with reading (some kids need the one-on-one a parent helper can provide), and helping with math.
I'd go in one morning before school and offer to help with a specific activity and see if that gets you anywhere.
I used to go in every Monday and stuff Monday Folders (folders that contained the previous week's work, plus any papers from the office). It took anywhere from 15 min to an hour, and the teacher appreciated not having to find time in the day to do it herself.
Two more days and back we ALL go (four of us going "back to school", my recent graduate will be doing something but who knows what yet).. man, I'm bummed! I wish we could just wait until it "felt" like summer was over (which, in Texas, would be around November!)...
I found volunteering to be totally disorganized. I always signed up to volunteer for various things, never received any communication about it, my calls and emails went unanswered (umm..I'd like to volunteer, I signed up, don't you have anything for me to do to help?) I found over the years volunteering is a close-knit club, access to which is jealously guarded. There's a little group of mothers who run everything, they wouldn't let you volunteer fo fear of having an "outsider" in their midst.
These are the mothers who complain about lack of involvement from other parents, complain they do all the work, yadda, yadda, but if you try to help you're shunned, it reminds me of my high school days when everything was run by a little clique.
Well, my kids are in middle school now, all that drops out, they don't want a group of mothers hanging there all day making a passtime out of "volunteering". I just send in money for fundraisers and steer clear!
I soooooo know what you're talking about, only I'm one of the moms sorta-kinda in "the club". I didn't mean for this to happen... but somehow I earned a reputation for being the "Artsy mom" and because I'm also a SAHM and most of the other moms who organize events and such are working moms - they tend to depend on me a lot.
They are all way closer as a group than I am, I am a bit of an outcast, really. They go off and reward themselves with a fancy lunch after every event and even though they always invite me, I'm usually already volunteering with the next big thing (or busy in the classrooms) so I always politely decline.
They are always having birthday parties together and coffee together. The chit chat drives me crazy when I'm volunteering and trying to get work done.
Honestly, the other volunteer moms get on my nerves... they talk too much, are disorganized, are catty and cliquish... snobby even... but I do what I do for my kids, and my kids teachers, and my kids school... and I just keep that attitude going all year. I find ways to make myself useful, and I try my best to keep to myself.
I do enjoy spending time at my kids schools and getting to know their friends and the adults that they also interact with at the school... other staff and teachers at the school and so on. And I do enjoy doing creative things... so I just don't worry about the other moms. From time to time I actually tell them "no" when they email me at the very last minute wanting some huge sign or project done for some fundraiser or event that they've known for months about but only in the last moments decided to stop the mindless chit-chat and actually do some work... and I'm sure they talk about me behind my back when I tell them no... but whatever. It's not my problem. They are not my life's current focus - my family is.
The teachers lack of communication makes me want to steer clear, but I know that would probably be worse in the long run. If I spend some time in the classroom maybe I can figure her out a little more. I will go back to work in a couple years, so I want to be involved now while I can. *sigh*
I would try not to get discouraged so soon... the school year just started. Sometimes it takes a bit for the teacher to realize where she could use help. We once had a teacher one year who just simply didn't like to use volunteers. She felt that they weren't reliable. Teachers have to keep a schedule going, and some volunteer moms just don't respect that, unfortunately. I totally understood her reasoning. I've known volunteer moms who would put a hair or nail appointment ahead of her prior commitment to helping out in the classroom. These are moms who are in the PTC, even... but I eventually won her over, and pretty soon I was a fixture in the class... starting with helping grade papers during her lunch hour, then helping give spelling tests, then helping with "book talks" (sort of like a book report...) and so forth from there. At the end of the year, she gave me a sweet card with a picture she took of the class... and she said she hoped to have another volunteer mom like me the next year... it was so nice!
I would try not to get discouraged so soon... the school year just started. Sometimes it takes a bit for the teacher to realize where she could use help. We once had a teacher one year who just simply didn't like to use volunteers. She felt that they weren't reliable. Teachers have to keep a schedule going, and some volunteer moms just don't respect that, unfortunately. I totally understood her reasoning. I've known volunteer moms who would put a hair or nail appointment ahead of her prior commitment to helping out in the classroom. These are moms who are in the PTC, even... but I eventually won her over, and pretty soon I was a fixture in the class... starting with helping grade papers during her lunch hour, then helping give spelling tests, then helping with "book talks" (sort of like a book report...) and so forth from there. At the end of the year, she gave me a sweet card with a picture she took of the class... and she said she hoped to have another volunteer mom like me the next year... it was so nice!
This is true, I can relate from when I was working at my children's school and relying on volunteers. It was awful!
I ran the afterschool care program and in order to try and keep costs down and ratios low we tried to get parent volunteers to work with me each day providing afterschool care. Ideally I'd have a different parent volunteer each day of the week, so for a parent this meant four afternoons a month, or close to that.
I couldn't believe how many times people just didn't show up...! Or showed up, then one of their other parent buddies came to pick up a kid and there they were, off chatting and oblivious!
So yeah, in that job I tended to be very dubious of any promises of help from parents! It was frustrating. Even when I didn't have that many kids, the lack of a volunteer meant I couldn't even go pee if I had to until all the kids were gone and if we were out on the playground and someone got sick I had to drag ALL the kids inside to deal with it!
I couldn't believe how many times people just didn't show up...! Or showed up, then one of their other parent buddies came to pick up a kid and there they were, off chatting and oblivious!
Isn't that frustrating!? OK, I'm going to share/vent a little thing that happened to me last year...
I was a chaperon for a field trip. There were 6 other parents who were also chaperones, each chaperon had 3 - 4 kids. In addition, the teacher had paired up the chaperons so that during toilet breaks, the kids would never be left alone as one chaperon could stand outside the bathrooms while one went in... taking turns so both chaperons could use the bathroom... etc. Also if there was an emergency or something, one chaperon could go get help or whatever while one stayed put with the kids.
Anyway - so I'm paired up with this mom volunteer. She's one of the PTC moms. I knew of her but had never met her. I have four boys, she has four girls.
So... first, she was an hour late. All chaperones were supposed to meet at the school at 7am, and she doesn't get there until 8am, so she completely misses the meeting that all the chaperons were supposed to attend before leaving on the buses. That wasn't too big a deal to me, I figured I could fill her in later on the bus.
Then, when the buses arrive (at 8:15) and it's time for the chaperons to get their kids all onto the buses - she's missing. I couldn't find her anywhere, and the girls she was supposed to be watching were all running around unsupervised. So, the teacher asks me to just watch her group and make sure they get on the bus. So, I do. My four boys and her four girls. As I'm doing this, I look over to see her chatting away with some other PTC moms, as well as the principal. Space case!
Then, she decided that she wasn't going to ride the bus with her group, like she was supposed to do, instead she's going to take her own car. So I'm on the bus with her group plus my group. Again, not a big deal as not much can happen on the bus, really...
So then we arrive at the destination... and she's not there. All the other groups had gone on through the gates and begun the field trip... but there I am, waiting outside the gates with 8 kids and the teacher. Each chaperon had been given a packet which included the tickets for each child plus themselves. I had tickets for myself and my group - but not her group. It was a mess!!
Finally the teacher talks with the admission staff and works it out so we can go in... and so the teacher and I and the 8 kids go in and begin the field trip...
About an hour later she shows up. She says that she "got lost". Whatever!
You'd think this was the last of it... but there were more things... I'll stop here.
Yep - some moms are just nut cases, out on left field somewhere... and unfortunately that makes it so that the hard-working dependable moms have to work extra hard to earn a reputation as being the sort of mom a teacher can actually count on.
And then, usually the flighty nutcase moms... because they are more social or chatty creatures who befriend the "right" people... tend to get credit for lots of stuff that the quiet hardworking moms did most of the work on. But, that's just how life is sometimes.
Thanks everyone. I talked to another parent about the teacher. this mom has an older child who had the same K teacher, so she's aware of the issues. She also didn't get any kind of communication about the volunteer schedule. Her advice was to just show up at the right time and "take the bull by the horns." I'm sure there must be parents who signed up to volunteer (the list was out on back to school night), and haven't shown up because the teacher didn't send a confirmation e-mail, or they forgot the exact time. Oh well. I'll go in on my day and see how it goes. The other mom showed up on her day and the class was in an assembly. If I had not asked, I would have shown up last week and found the class outside for field day. I think the least the teacher could do is let us know when we won't be needed.
And then, usually the flighty nutcase moms... because they are more social or chatty creatures who befriend the "right" people... tend to get credit for lots of stuff that the quiet hardworking moms did most of the work on. But, that's just how life is sometimes.
So unfair! but I guess life isn't fair! I am always feeling like I do my part but no one else does, and both go unnoticed!
Just like how most Dads are categorized in a negative light due to a few bad eggs ruining it for the entire gender.
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They are not my life's current focus - my family is.
