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Would the Grandparents consider giving the kids movie tickets or lessons (like tae kwon do, ice skating or music lessons) instead of toys? Those things don't take up any space...
But, whether they would consider it or not, it is truly wonderful that your kids have such devoted and loving grandparents.
The grandparents are a big source of our problems with the kids at christmas. They, by nature, seem to have lots more disposable income than we do. By disposable I mean money they can blow on crap. My finances are very lean....and I don't have much on the side to blow on crap. So I set a budget every year for christmas on how much I'm willing to spend on each kid. It's a graduated budget. I spend more on the oldest kid than the youngest simply because gifts for the older kids seem to be more expensive.
The grandparents know not what it means to budget for christmas and they just run out and buy tons of stuff for each kid....even stuff we wish they would not buy.
We also have to travel 6-7hrs to get home for xmas. What that means is we have a car load of kids, a dog, and suitcases....and very little room for much else. SO we always ask that the gifts that they do give be smaller in size or be prepared to ship it to our house. My parents are usually pretty good on that front. OTOH...my inlaws....well....my FIL takes that bit of information....ignores it...and buys HUGE toys for the kids. This usually leaves me being outside in the freezing cold on the day we have to travel home trying to figure out how to stuff all this crap in the car.
OK....with all of the above in mind guess what happens to a lot of these toys that were so much fun at christmas less than 6 months later. They become a huge messy pile on their bedroom floors. And ultimately...within 2-5 years....a lot of them end up broken and destined for a landfil. So if you happen to be a grandparent who loves to spoil your grandchildren you may want to consider what your lack of frugalness during the holidays is doing to the environment.
Can we trade grandparents? My kids grandparents come to my house and see all the toys my kids have and say they have too much stuff so I am not going to buy them anything.
My MIL really upset me when she wanted me to find something for under $20 for my dd for Christmas. The item she wanted couldn't be found for under $40. And then she always is looking for a toy for some neighbors kid when she visits. And of course she only bought her something because it was Christmas when she was here at other times nothing.
If we had grandparents in our family or any relatives for that matter I would definitely encourage them to give the gift of lessons for music, sports, etc. I think that is a wonderful idea. It would be a constant reminder-with your encouragement- that grandparents have made this fun available to them.
Also I would encourage grandparents to set a budget for gift giving for the year and take half of that-at least- and invest it for their college. Now that has real value and the kids will know when they are older how reasonable and generous their grandparents were.
but as it is we have no relatives and proide everything our kids need ourselves. We stopped givcing gifts to our 26 and 28 year old kids years ago. We get their cell phones, AAA and student lOAN
I think grandparents should make a gift budget for the year and give at least half of it to college funds. the rest should be used for lessons or sports fees or maybe summer camps instead of a room full of toys.
For our grown kids - 26 and 28 we stopped with gifts several years ago. We get their cell phone on our family plan, AAA and student loan payments. This saves them money, saves our shopping and helps them appreciate what we give them. Don't know how much longer we can do that but as long as they are single and in graduate school it seems reasonable for us. A free college education is a tremendous gift and one most of their friends wish they had.
we have friends who give no gifts during the year to kids or grandkids but plan and pay for a once yearly vacation which they all seem to enjoy. Memories and family time together are gifts kids can really appreciate their whole lives.
Your kids are not at an age where they truly understand how much things cost. If you typically get each child say 4 presents, buy one thing they want and 3 smaller things if you are concerned about how things look under the tree. Also, kids will say all year long " I want that, I want that, I want that" but I have learned that what they are really saying is "that looks cool". Have you had your kids make a list? I think you will be amazed at how little they REALLY want vs the things that look cool. Have them give you a list of the 4 things they really want the most and buy from that list-or however many gifts you will buy.
Our kids are getting older so their "toys" are getting more expensive (3 high school aged kids here). They are all getting one more expensive present and 2 smaller things-except our oldest who is only getting one smaller thing because of the cost of his other present. He will be very surprised to get that smaller present (he already got his 'big' one-a new cell phone because mom goofed and had it activated-oops).
Our DS14 has asked for Nerf guns--that's it. He always has a simple list--which is actually frustrating because it makes him hard to buy for . One year he asked for a Nerf basketball hoop-we splurged and bought 2 of them.
Because I like to see a "full" tree, everything will be wrapped in BIG boxes
...my FIL takes that bit of information....ignores it...and buys HUGE toys for the kids. This usually leaves me being outside in the freezing cold on the day we have to travel home trying to figure out how to stuff all this crap in the car.
Oh, I feel your pain! My parents have been some of the worse givers in the past! For my son's first birthday, they bought a ride on toy (the kind the toddler sits on and scoots around with his feet) that sung a really annoying "Old MacDonald" song. Which would be fine, except that we lived in a 20'x10' cabin (no kidding), and it was November in the far north. They thought it was funny, but the poor kid could only go four feet in one direction, then turn around and go back the same four feet. And forget about the song--it's still a joke between my husband and I. Anyhow, it spent most of the winter on the porch.
Two years later, they bought him this huge, awesome pedal firetruck for Christmas. The problem? We traveled eight hours in a small, compact car to visit them. And we only saw each other 2-3 times a year. Poor kid, couldn't take such an awesome gift home. They did get it to our house eventually.
I'm lucky, because both grandparents try to keep the presents down (it's just that my MIL fails miserably every year, despite the resolution she makes every New Year), and my parents have learned that buying fun gifts is only half the fun...that knowing your grandchild can actually play with it is the other.
And remember everyone, we all need an outlet to b**** sometimes. C-D just provides it. I'm sure we will all weather the storms of Christmas with graditude and graciousness. As much as I dread some things my MIL does and buys, it will be a good visit.
Going back to the original topic...But if scaling down is happening at your house this Christmas, what have you found that works in communicating this with your children? How do you help your children deal with the "I got Silly Putty and a sweater and the Jones' kid got an IPod- the day after Christmas?
You say...."how nice for them"....There will always be people with more stuff. A good thing to remember is that there will also always be people with less.
ETA - Christmas is not all about the "stuff" - focus on what Christmas actually is and creating wonderful memories during the season. Do things together, make cookies, play games, watch movies even. Do a Christmas puzzle over the course of several days...You 4 y.o. most likely will not notice any difference and your 10 y.o. is at a great age for learning....
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This usually leaves me being outside in the freezing cold on the day we have to travel home trying to figure out how to stuff all this crap in the car.
. One year he asked for a Nerf basketball hoop-we splurged and bought 2 of them.
