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We have two children 4 and 10 and have been on a tight (getting tighter) budget for the last two years. Throughout the year our children will ask for toys and we'll tell them, "no" unless they have their own money and we tell them the times they will receive toys from us are at Christmas and their birthdays. They have had some plentiful Christmases in the past but because of moving away from family, stuggling finances and death of a grandparent, our kids need to know that many toys they want at Christmas they will not get. How do you (or have you) helped your children accept less at Christmas (especially when they tend to compare their gifts to their friends'?) How do you make a permanent lowering of expectations among your children?
I have been amazed at how good our kids have been with budgeting. We recently started them on allowances (they are 5 and 7). Our eldest in particular has been amazing. He is mad about lego and uses lego.com to build a wish list but won't put anything on it above $50 as "it's too expensive". Making them understand that goods and money are finite seems to have helped.
Reaasure your kids you will make sure they have what they need in this world but not always what they want. The commercials are brutal around Christmas and kids want everything they see at that age but they will get over it , move on and be OK!
We have two children 4 and 10 and have been on a tight (getting tighter) budget for the last two years. Throughout the year our children will ask for toys and we'll tell them, "no" unless they have their own money and we tell them the times they will receive toys from us are at Christmas and their birthdays. They have had some plentiful Christmases in the past but because of moving away from family, stuggling finances and death of a grandparent, our kids need to know that many toys they want at Christmas they will not get. How do you (or have you) helped your children accept less at Christmas (especially when they tend to compare their gifts to their friends'?) How do you make a permanent lowering of expectations among your children?
I feel for you. When my son was young...around the age of your youngest...it was a pretty tough year financially and Christmas gifts were very sparse. I didn't say a thing to him and pretended as best I could that it was still a happy time, even though deep down inside it was killing me to not provide him the kind of gifts I had in the past.
A few years back he was talking about some of the gifts he had received that year and how they were some of his favorite, ever. I have never told him about the financial situation. He actually remembered that Christmas and a bright smile came to his face when he talked about it.
In my case, it worked out best to not say anything at all.
Well, your 10 yo. should be old enough to understnad that things are tight and that toys and gifts will not be as plentiful as they once were nor as expensive. It isn't going to hurt them one bit to know that money is not as readily available and pennies are being pinched. Believe me you are not the only one having to explain that this is going to be a tight Christmas to their kids this year. As far as the 4 yo. goes they most likely do not remember exactly how many gifts they got in years past or even what they were, so downsizing their amount shouldn't be that big of deal.
We are doing a homemade Christmas this year with our kids because money is tight for us as well. We'll be making things that we each know that they will like and the cost should be much less than buying off the shelf. You could make up coupons to give as a gift like not having to do chores for one day, playing a game with them, having a family camp out, (even if that is in the living room) family movie night with their choice of movie, stay up an hour later, ...etc. The nice thing about doing a homemade Christmas is that it gets back to what Christmas is all about and the giver has to actually think about the reciever instead of mindlessly grabbing something off the shelf.
A few years back he was talking about some of the gifts he had received that year and how they were some of his favorite, ever. I have never told him about the financial situation. He actually remembered that Christmas and a bright smile came to his face when he talked about it.
That happened to me once when things were tight!
I didn't say anything. I just did the best I could.
For the last two years we have had Christmas re-invented. The girls get one outfit from Wal Mart that they pick out within the limits I have set for modesty and budget, shirt, pants, a package of undies, at least 1 bra, package of socks, pair of shoes, and maybe a jacket/coat if we have enough money. THEN they might get a "fun" present, a game/book/puzzle...something like that. Lots of times for Stocking Stuffers they get a BIG candy cane, a package of their favorite gum, some hair ties or clippies, nail polish, lip gloss, body spray... ect. Most of the stuff I can pick up off the dollar rack through out the year. This year I actually broke down and bought one a Tinkerbell stocking and the other one an OU stocking (since those are their favs).
Last edited by okpondlady; 11-29-2009 at 11:31 PM..
Reason: Clarification
I do agree dealing with kids expectation is a very tough one. but in this financial situation there is no other go but to make them understand it. your elder kid is 10 yrs old so that is a good age to understand the parent's situation make him understand.
and 4 yrs is too young to remember what he asked for so get him something good and useful and economical too , he will forget his expectation.
If they believe in Santa - explain that there are hard financial times and Santa has a lot of children to provide for - he will bring gifts but the spirit of the season is generosity and there are children who dont have home, parents etc - and he has to take care of those children also.
Our kids are limited to 5 things from their list. And a duplicate goes to a needy child. They have never expected more - though they have extensive lists every year. We find after 5 gifts they become overwhelmed and lose interest.
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