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We were spanked on occassion - maybe 3 or 4 times. It had to be something really, really bad to get a spanking, and it was only done if it was a repeat offense. It was always the last resort.
Spanking shouldn't be illegal, but it should definitley be used sparingly. As another poster stated, spanking a one year old is beyond wrong.
well didnt the story say spanking a child under 18, my first thought why would you spank a child over 18?
Hmmm. I wasn't thinking about spanking children over 18 especially. I was thinking about the people who "confuse pain with pleasure." You see it all the time these days, particularly in the people who get all the weird piercings (tongue, nipples, whatever else). A friend of mine who had a PhD in Psychology told me that they "confuse pleasure with pain." For a child who confuses the two, a spanking is not going to be effective as it would be something they would enjoy.
Hmmm. I wasn't thinking about spanking children over 18 especially. I was thinking about the people who "confuse pain with pleasure." You see it all the time these days, particularly in the people who get all the weird piercings (tongue, nipples, whatever else). A friend of mine who had a PhD in Psychology told me that they "confuse pleasure with pain." For a child who confuses the two, a spanking is not going to be effective as it would be something they would enjoy.
It's just something to think about...
THAT is beyond disturbing. I doubt many kids actually look forward to a spanking if they do they need help right away.
OK this is for all you that believe their should be a ban on spanking. when a say 8 year old kid is very unruly, and timeout, counseling, grounding , etc. hasnt worked, what do you think the solution be?
OK this is for all you that believe their should be a ban on spanking. when a say 8 year old kid is very unruly, and timeout, counseling, grounding , etc. hasnt worked, what do you think the solution be?
I'll tell you.
Wear their hides out!!!!
Why is your 8 year old out of control anyway if you have been parenting in a consistent manner. Do you think spanking them will work if ALL that did not? NO.........I have tried several methods and found what works for me and I do not have to resort to "wearing out hides" . My kids KNOW what I expect. I don't agree that there should be a BAN on spanking. I just think it is a hypocritical way to teach your children right from wrong.
It always made sense to have it mirror what we have already set up as societal norms and controls (yes, controls...not "suggestions" or "guidelines").
Most states have penal codes written to exclude "age appropriate spanking to the buttocks" and tend to define the limit as anything that would cause bruising, broken skin, bleeding, etc.
So my mom's sandal, or the balsa wood paint stirrer that was hanging from the side of the fridge in my house, were both good objects for this type of moderated, legal corporal punishment.
In my police career (East LA primarily) we saw hundreds upon hundreds of cases of abuse, yet an awful lot MORE instances where parents who were willing to spank were able to control the behavior of otherwise incorrigible children.
And again, it mirrors society. If a bully is out of hand in a nightclub, they may ASK him to leave, but the BOUNCER is the one that enforces the suggestion. And if a bouncer grabs hold of you and you resist, he's going to put the hurt to you.
If you really get into it, and we arrived, you had better become VERY compliant RIGHT NOW or guess what? We were going to put the hurt to you if you still felt like being physical.
Through society, there ALWAYS is the "final line" where society places controls on people. For a gentle society (think Japan) it's by a national attitude of adherence to rules and traditions followed willingly for the most part. For a pretty wild and wooly society (USSR) the NKVD and KGB kept things under control by going overboard, but crime was low. Now that the Soviet Union fell, all hell broke loose because they went to too few controls to stop it.
So in my home, with 4 children, we spanked, but it was awfully rare. I don't recall the last time (3-4 years ago maybe?) that I had to give out a spanking, but we're a quiet family. My nephew gets spanked with some regularity, but my brother loves him and hates being pushed to that level by my nephew forcing his hand to hit that final "societal control".
And in much the same way we regulate the amount of force law enforcement officers may use to overcome resistance, so we tell parents that spanking much be age appropriate and non-traumatic to the body.
Folks, it makes perfect sense, and gets kids ready for the real world where REAL laws are backed up by cops with batons and guns and prisons with bars and armed guards. Good kids, WHETHER OR NOT they were spanked, will likely never have an seriously unpleasant experience with either of those two entities....unless they wind up working in that industry, huh?
How did you learn that you need to let food cool before you eat it? You ate something straight out of the microwave or oven and burned your mouth.
How do we learn not to pull a cat's tail? Because the cat reared back and swatted with claws.
Why can't the same be true for knocking stuff over or throwing hissy fits?
There is a big difference, the microwave didn't set out with the intention of hurting me :-) An adult can make the choice of inflicting pain or not, and I think choosing to inflict pain is not the way to go.
There is a big difference, the microwave didn't set out with the intention of hurting me :-) An adult can make the choice of inflicting pain or not, and I think choosing to inflict pain is not the way to go.
And the cat?
Quote:
Originally Posted by 4"L's"
Do people really do that? I thought that was only in movies (OLD MOVIES)
My dad did it to me. In the end, I didn't use that kind of language till I was 18. On my 18th birthday, I looked at my dad and starting saying "D-,s-,f-" again and again because there was nothing he could do at that point.
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