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Well, I never voted in the poll because I didn't feel one way or the other before I started reading the responses.
I used to think spanking was okay...
But after doing some research, I don't know that I feel that way anymore.
Does spanking really produce better kids -- or is it more of an outlet for the parents frustrations?
I am HIGHLY critical of putting soap in children's mouths because soap was never made to be ingested. I think that is child abuse and I have to wonder where someone who would put soap in a child's mouth would stop. Would they put cigarettes out on a child's arm if the child touched a cigarette? Would they rub a child's bedsheet in their face if the child urinated on it? If a child pooped in bed, would they make them eat it? Where does the abuse end? To me, any of these scenarios are HIGHLY abusive.
With regards to spanking, a quick swat on the butt never hurt anyone -- but I don't know if that is enough to make most kids fear "the quick swat on the butt." A LOT of parents go far beyond that to make their message heard.
"Spanking" means something different to a lot of people. For some people, it is only using your hand. For others, it means pulling out the "props" (Paddles, belts, hangers, whatever). I don't think it would hurt parental rights if spanking was defined by law.
As far as babies go -- babies can DIE from being shaken! What sane parent would spank a baby?!!
Agreed....Spanking does not produce better kids.......Good parenting produces the best kids and sometimes even with the best parenting kids can stray.
Excellent point, as even if I wanted to scrap with another kid, I was usually standing with my nose in the corner waiting on the paddle. Heck, I think my school didn't even have to look up the number for her work, it was the "Dial 7" option.
When paddling was around the media did not run every single story over and over and over again almost giving you celebrity status for committing a crime, and the world was a MUCH less corrupt place for children. Now it is FULL of disturbing music and video games. The movie star status given to you by the media when you commit a crime is enough to make kids want to do it for the attention if they are not getting enough at home. I doubt seriosly if a threat of a spanking would have prevented these disturbed kids from doing what they did, it seems like they were way beyond help by that point.
I wonder what the % of school shooters that were from broken homes, abused etc. It would be interesting to know.
I am sick of spoiled kids- and can recall (and yes it was the late 70's) the loser kids who caused problems in grade school- loudest, most problems- got the most attention- as liberal teachers figured they could "help" It never helped- alot of those kids, now in their late 30's either OD'd or work at a gas station now- The parents had ''no time" to discipline kids then either.....
IMO discipline starts at home and the parents are responsible.
I agree a bit of discipline does not hurt anyone and in fact is a positive step for kids growing up as responsible adults.
It seems parents nowadays are unable to say "NO" to their children. The result is ill behaved rude children who will in turn become ill behaved rude adults and breed accordingly...
I wish parents would take responsibilty for their offspring and actually teach their children manners and a modicum of civility towards others.
Like all civilised human beings I am firmly opposed to any form of child abuse, beating , mental and physical bullying, exploitation etc.. but to equate a slight ( and very occasional) smack on the fleshiest part of the anatomy or the back of the leg on rare occasions is utterly ludicrous.
Children need boundaries and sometimes a mild spank is the shock needed for some children. I would say it does not work for all kids though but still is hardly a crime worth punishing with some legal repercussions.
Parents must be allowed some form of personal choice as to what is acceptable as long as it is reasonable.
I cannot abide children who are allowed to run riot, eat only what they want, are rude to their parents, elders and even contemporaries.
Yes children deserve a childhood and there is nothing wrong with joyous playful little ones. However this does not mean that kids have the right to rule over the world, and behave like hooligans.
I am a firm believer in treating kids like adults most of the time as I feel they respond far better and behave more maturely, but occasionally a firmer hand is required.
To criminalise parents for a slight tap on the bum is idiotic and legally dangerous. We would be putting the power in kids hands and as we know a spurned child can do a lot of damage. I can see legions of innocent parents being branded as virtual monsters because the latest disney toy or electronic gadget had been refused or too slowing in coming...
Spanking is hardly the same as being belted.
The only time I was ever spanked was by my grand-mother at the age of 3 after I ran across a very busy road with my toy pram. She has spent ages telling me to be careful and I just ran across.
Her spanking was a release for her ( not necessarily a bad thing IMO) and also a lesson not to ignore her regarding safety again. It worked. I never did it again.
I was "lucky" because my Dad ( strictest Dad ever) never , ever had to spank me, he had "the Look" which would have frozen the most hardened of hearts. To be honest many times I wished he had spanked me instead as "the Look" was far worse...
To legislate against spanking is to me, opting for the soft option when we should be legislating against emotional and psychological abuse which is far more damaging than a small tap on the butt. Kids grow up emotionally damaged because of parents who don't spend time with them, don't play with them, don't teach and educate them properly,make them feel like lesser humans and simply make them feel as they hadn't wanted them in the first place. To me that is true abuse.
When paddling was around the media did not run every single story over and over and over again almost giving you celebrity status for committing a crime, and the world was a MUCH less corrupt place for children. Now it is FULL of disturbing music and video games. The movie star status given to you by the media when you commit a crime is enough to make kids want to do it for the attention if they are not getting enough at home. I doubt seriosly if a threat of a spanking would have prevented these disturbed kids from doing what they did, it seems like they were way beyond help by that point.
I wonder what the % of school shooters that were from broken homes, abused etc. It would be interesting to know.
This is a problem because the world has changed quite a bit since those days.
Spanking doesn't mean anything to the antisocial kid. The psychology behind that starts far before spanking even begins.
Can the media keep from putting this stuff on the 24-hour news cycle? No, because it IS news.
That means we need to stop kids from doing "newsworthy" things.
Less access to guns would help A LOT! Aside from that, better parental control would help too but it doesn't seem like it matters as much as access to weapons. There are lots of antisocial kids. Access to weapons just makes it worse.
This is a problem because the world has changed quite a bit since those days.
Spanking doesn't mean anything to the antisocial kid. The psychology behind that starts far before spanking even begins.
Can the media keep from putting this stuff on the 24-hour news cycle? No, because it IS news.
That means we need to stop kids from doing "newsworthy" things.
Less access to guns would help A LOT! Aside from that, better parental control would help too but it doesn't seem like it matters as much as access to weapons. There are lots of antisocial kids. Access to weapons just makes it worse.
Well put........I think the same people who think it is a great idea to have guns in your house, car, shed, breadbox, under the car seat, under the mattress (you get the point) when they have kids in and out of their house are the ones that need to think about a change. Guns for protection- one thing- but lets lock them up so kids can't get them and shoot our teacher and students when they get mad at the world. I got off topic.........oh well.
I agree a bit of discipline does not hurt anyone and in fact is a positive step for kids growing up as responsible adults.
It seems parents nowadays are unable to say "NO" to their children. The result is ill behaved rude children who will in turn become ill behaved rude adults and breed accordingly...
Agreed..........
I wish parents would take responsibilty for their offspring and actually teach their children manners and a modicum of civility towards others.
Like all civilised human beings I am firmly opposed to any form of child abuse, beating , mental and physical bullying, exploitation etc.. but to equate a slight ( and very occasional) smack on the fleshiest part of the anatomy or the back of the leg on rare occasions is utterly ludicrous.
I don't think it is a matter of it being chld abuse in that instance, just that there are other ways to make a point besides striking anyone...
Children need boundaries and sometimes a mild spank is the shock needed for some children. I would say it does not work for all kids though but still is hardly a crime worth punishing with some legal repercussions.
Parents must be allowed some form of personal choice as to what is acceptable as long as it is reasonable.
Agreed...
I cannot abide children who are allowed to run riot, eat only what they want, are rude to their parents, elders and even contemporaries.
Yes children deserve a childhood and there is nothing wrong with joyous playful little ones. However this does not mean that kids have the right to rule over the world, and behave like hooligans.
I am a firm believer in treating kids like adults most of the time as I feel they respond far better and behave more maturely, but occasionally a firmer hand is required.
To criminalise parents for a slight tap on the bum is idiotic and legally dangerous. We would be putting the power in kids hands and as we know a spurned child can do a lot of damage. I can see legions of innocent parents being branded as virtual monsters because the latest disney toy or electronic gadget had been refused or too slowing in coming...
If you (in general) have let your kids get that spoiled then you deserve what you get.
Spanking is hardly the same as being belted.
The only time I was ever spanked was by my grand-mother at the age of 3 after I ran across a very busy road with my toy pram. She has spent ages telling me to be careful and I just ran across.
Where do you draw the line then, what age do you start slapping, swatting....whatever...
Her spanking was a release for her ( not necessarily a bad thing IMO) and also a lesson not to ignore her regarding safety again. It worked. I never did it again.
I was "lucky" because my Dad ( strictest Dad ever) never , ever had to spank me, he had "the Look" which would have frozen the most hardened of hearts. To be honest many times I wished he had spanked me instead as "the Look" was far worse...
To legislate against spanking is to me, opting for the soft option when we should be legislating against emotional and psychological abuse which is far more damaging than a small tap on the butt. Kids grow up emotionally damaged because of parents who don't spend time with them, don't play with them, don't teach and educate them properly,make them feel like lesser humans and simply make them feel as they hadn't wanted them in the first place. To me that is true abuse.
Agreed, too many parents ignore kids theses days until they get into trouble...Parenting is a lifelong, fulltime job. More people should really think about that before they have children.
Well put........I think the same people who think it is a great idea to have guns in your house, car, shed, breadbox, under the car seat, under the mattress (you get the point) when they have kids in and out of their house are the ones that need to think about a change. Guns for protection- one thing- but lets lock them up so kids can't get them and shoot our teacher and students when they get mad at the world. I got off topic.........oh well.
Ha! I feel this way too. It's fine for the parents to have guns, but they really need to be cautious around kids.
I've told this story several times -- but I had a friend who had a gun and 3 kids. He wanted to show me his gun. First we had to move this big huge armoire in his bedroom, then we had to roll the rug back. The gun was in a floor safe! It took us a few minutes to reach the gun. His kids would have never found it. On top of that, he couldn't get to it without doing a lot of work (several minutes worth) so it really was a "weapon of last resort" -- but I kind of think a lot of weapons should be viewed like that.
Anyway, fewer weaons available to kids = much less gun drama.
I was spanked a lot by my stepfather for all manner of real or imagined offences. When I got to 14 years old and 165 lbs. of well-muscled meanness I made an oak quarterstaff and threatened to rearrange his body if he ever tried to hit me again. Fortunately for him, and me, he ran away from a well-disserved beating. Unfortunately he then took up beating my mother so we left a financially comfortable life for one of real poverty. I should have instructed him to not do that but my mother never displayed the bruises.
The problem with using violence on children is they grow up and can be more than willing to return the favor. Or just go on to use violence to ‘discipline’ their children. Then there is no end to the tragedy.
I agree a bit of discipline does not hurt anyone and in fact is a positive step for kids growing up as responsible adults.
It seems parents nowadays are unable to say "NO" to their children. The result is ill behaved rude children who will in turn become ill behaved rude adults and breed accordingly...
I wish parents would take responsibilty for their offspring and actually teach their children manners and a modicum of civility towards others.
Like all civilised human beings I am firmly opposed to any form of child abuse, beating , mental and physical bullying, exploitation etc.. but to equate a slight ( and very occasional) smack on the fleshiest part of the anatomy or the back of the leg on rare occasions is utterly ludicrous.
Children need boundaries and sometimes a mild spank is the shock needed for some children. I would say it does not work for all kids though but still is hardly a crime worth punishing with some legal repercussions.
Parents must be allowed some form of personal choice as to what is acceptable as long as it is reasonable.
I cannot abide children who are allowed to run riot, eat only what they want, are rude to their parents, elders and even contemporaries.
Yes children deserve a childhood and there is nothing wrong with joyous playful little ones. However this does not mean that kids have the right to rule over the world, and behave like hooligans.
I am a firm believer in treating kids like adults most of the time as I feel they respond far better and behave more maturely, but occasionally a firmer hand is required.
To criminalise parents for a slight tap on the bum is idiotic and legally dangerous. We would be putting the power in kids hands and as we know a spurned child can do a lot of damage. I can see legions of innocent parents being branded as virtual monsters because the latest disney toy or electronic gadget had been refused or too slowing in coming...
Spanking is hardly the same as being belted.
The only time I was ever spanked was by my grand-mother at the age of 3 after I ran across a very busy road with my toy pram. She has spent ages telling me to be careful and I just ran across.
Her spanking was a release for her ( not necessarily a bad thing IMO) and also a lesson not to ignore her regarding safety again. It worked. I never did it again.
I was "lucky" because my Dad ( strictest Dad ever) never , ever had to spank me, he had "the Look" which would have frozen the most hardened of hearts. To be honest many times I wished he had spanked me instead as "the Look" was far worse...
To legislate against spanking is to me, opting for the soft option when we should be legislating against emotional and psychological abuse which is far more damaging than a small tap on the butt. Kids grow up emotionally damaged because of parents who don't spend time with them, don't play with them, don't teach and educate them properly,make them feel like lesser humans and simply make them feel as they hadn't wanted them in the first place. To me that is true abuse.
Quote:
Originally Posted by GregW
I was spanked a lot by my stepfather for all manner of real or imagined offences. When I got to 14 years old and 165 lbs. of well-muscled meanness I made an oak quarterstaff and threatened to rearrange his body if he ever tried to hit me again. Fortunately for him, and me, he ran away from a well-disserved beating. Unfortunately he then took up beating my mother so we left a financially comfortable life for one of real poverty. I should have instructed him to not do that but my mother never displayed the bruises.
The problem with using violence on children is they grow up and can be more than willing to return the favor. Or just go on to use violence to ‘discipline’ their children. Then there is no end to the tragedy.
Beautifully stated GregW.......but some people do not think of it as violence. It is using the threat of pain so what else can you call it, really? I know people who spank and it does not appear to be abusive or violent but it is still striking another human being and that is just wrong.
My dad did it to me. In the end, I didn't use that kind of language till I was 18. On my 18th birthday, I looked at my dad and starting saying "D-,s-,f-" again and again because there was nothing he could do at that point.
I'm not sure if I'm following your analogy with the cat. The cat is an ANIMAL, most of us believe that humans are more enlightened than animals.
So the end result of what your dad did had no effect? The long-term results don't seem to imply success.
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Well put........I think the same people who think it is a great idea to have guns in your house, car, shed, breadbox, under the car seat, under the mattress (you get the point) when they have kids in and out of their house are the ones that need to think about a change. Guns for protection- one thing- but lets lock them up so kids can't get them and shoot our teacher and students when they get mad at the world. I got off topic.....
....oh well.
