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Spanking a kid does not teach a kid to behave. It teaches them to fear.
There are plenty of effective ways to teach a child discipline without instilling fear.
Yes, that is right, and I feared picking up a gun, or for that matter, it never crossed my mind...I feared stealing anything, like some of my friends did...I feared drinking...I feared a consequence for my actions....which is good, and is much less then what most adults own, let alone, todays children.
With all due respect, I have had enough interactions with you to feel that perhaps there are some issues there that don't come from the acts of kindness and generosity of spirit. I don't want my kid to grow up being anything but that, and the 'old school' parenting routine sabatages those goals and makes the types of human beings that I don't want her emulating.
My children have grown up to be kind and generous and fantastic parents.
As an aside, one of them has left for his 5th tour in the ME - this time to Afganistan. His wife, a Navy Physican, has done two tours - I was "Mr. Mom" to their two kids for almost a year when they were mutually deployed - Both kids are polite, well educated (TV is minimally allowed), participate in civic events and one is working his way up in Scouting -
The "old school" was, and is, much better than this "new school" of discipline -
Yes, that is right, and I feared picking up a gun, or for that matter, it never crossed my mind...I feared stealing anything, like some of my friends did...I feared drinking...I feared a consequence for my actions....which is good, and is much less then what most adults own, let alone, todays children.
The fears you have were "good" fears if you ask me.
1) Why is it assumed that discipline always involves physical punishment. There are other ways to discipline. A great way is the rules of natural and logical consequences. You don't wear your coat in the snow, then you will be cold.
2) Just cause someone "turned out fine" didn't mean they really did. A lot of people are walking mental health issues, and "turned out just fine". They verbally abuse their spouses, or have rage issues. All sorts of problems. And they're just fine.
I can't imagine any truly "positive" outcome unless positive tactics and a positive environment is employed. Negative in, negative out. Positive in, positive out. It really is that simple.
It isn't assumed that discipline only entails spanking...
Yanno, I'm sorry, I apologize...but apparentely people are not reading the other posts...spanking is not done all the time as a disciplinary measure...discipline entails times outs, and many other effective measures....but, there are times, I repeat, times...in my son's case, 3 times in his entire life, that I spanked him....I didn't hit him hard, I never smacked him across the face...but I did spin him around and wack him on the behind 3 times in his entire life...that is it....
Why is it all of you people insist or apparently do not read the rest of the posts...we are not advocating the idea that you spank for every stinkin little thing that happens...you don't and most people here don't....I only used spanking in extreme measures....and there is nothing wrong with that, period.
What is it with you people...you are not hearing what others are writing...spanking is NOT USED all the time....never, nix, ever.
My son is 20 and in his life I may have touched him in anger perhaps 5 times. I doubt that a spanking is incredibly effective. But I also know that we dont want the gov in our homes more than it is already.
Growing up my dad laid leather for about any offence. Yes I had fear of that belt. Did it stop me from joining my cousins who never got beat? Nope
I freely admit when I wasn't with them I would never have considered doing the things they got me involved with.
Once after getting caught throwing rocks at cars my father made me go pick stones from the garden. Our garden was about 1/2 an acre. It I swear grew stones with the veggies. Of all the punishments I ever received that one burned a lesson home. It was about 90 degrees outside and sunny. Pail after pail I carried to the pile. I never threw another rock at anything but a river again.
I dont think spankings are a good response. I think they are more for relieving the parents frustration than for correcting a childs behavior.
Years later my son was caught throwing rocks and I visited the picking stones upon him. LOL to this day he swears that was the worst thing that I ever did to him.
No keep Gov out of it. Children and youth services demonstrates well enough that gov would only botch the job.
So... That is not proof that spanking works. My kid has the same reaction by me telling her that she has to go to bed. All without spanking or hitting.
I don't think it's the business of the gov't to tell parents what to do, but I still vehemently disagree with your ideology about hitting kids.
Hitting kids teaches kids that when you are frustrated, it's ok to hit. And then suddenly, when they are older, more mature and wiser, they are suddenly now supposed to use their other wits, to solve problems, not their hands. How do you teach those skills if you don't use them?
Yes, it did work, otherwise I wouldn't have written it....he never did it again....and if you were there, then you would know that...right?
Yanno, I'm not saying your methods don't work, they just don't always work on every single kid..period.
Oh, and by the way, I gave my son 3 chances...and if I had to speak the 3rd time....that is when he got the behind smacked....and after doing that once, after that, most of the time..during the entire 18 years of his life, I only had to look at him straight in the eyes, with an angry face and say, "Do I have to say it one more time?" And he knew.
I think I did a darn good job...and he, to this day, thanks me for it.....and by the way, he isn't scared for life, and he's a cop...and he was in the Air Force....
Yanno, I'm not saying your methods don't work, they just don't always work on every single kid..period.
Exactly!
AND, my original reply to roseba was asking "what if the other methods don't work"? I was not suggesting that spanking should be the first method of discipline - but, if all else fails, then it should be an option
Hence why the government needs to stay out of parental discipline for, like you noted, they (the government) are there when the discipline needs to be given out
creme
I got spanked alot. No doubt I earned everything I got too. It didn't make me violent, afraid, antisocial or have any other phobia's. What did it do?
Uhmmm I don't know. I served in the military, have taken Karate for about 27 years now and feel I am a stand up guy. I agree time outs and such are not as effective as some would like to think. My sister uses that and well her son is a spoiled little boy.
I think every child is different and will react differently. I think a parent should know what works best and apply it fairly. It sounds like you did a great job of it.
if a parent is already thinking about abusing their kids before they have any, I think they should think twice about having kids
Spanking does not equate to "abuse"
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