Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
She was maybe 8 or 9 months old. He still had parental rights even though she was conceived in rape. I was court ordered to live within so many miles of my rapist so that he could have visitation rights. He often abused and neglected her when he had visitation to get back at me and tell me it was my fault he did it. He even peppersprayed her in the face at one point. She was around six months old. He had all the rights. I had none. I was required to beg for permission to even travel outside the radius. I had to break the court order to even get an attorney because he intentionally consulted with all the attorneys in the area so they couldn't represent me due to "conflict of interest."
If he only had visitation rights, how did he have all the rights and you had none? At what age was your daughter when he owed you the 20k? Why was it against the court order for you to get an attorney?
$0 child support for me for 18 years. Dear old dad the rat sleeping well at night. Didn’t care about his first wife and kid. He should be in jail but he is not.
That wasn't the question, Mike. I think most of us can agree and get behind the morality of a parent having an obligation to financially support their child. Which you have done, and I applaud you for that.
The question is, if financial support for children is important (hopefully we can agree that it is), why isn't Mom required to financially support her children as well?
While I was out working to earn the support money, Mom was hauling him to play dates, Gymboree, birthday parties and a thousand other things a kid needs. My son never saw a daycare center in his life because I allowed Mom enough money to raise him without working outside the home. I truly feel that she contributed her fair share but with time instead of money.
If financial support for a child that approximates 25-40% of Dad's gross income is so important, why are those in authority perfectly ok with Mom providing 0 financial support to their child?
The percentage figure is often written into state law. If the non-custodial parent is a high earner, the custodial parent may receive enough support, that their contribution is unnecessary to maintain a reasonable lifestyle for them and the child(ren).
Not uncommon among well paid athletes and entertainers, who arise from poverty, and retain sexual partners in those environs.
If he only had visitation rights, how did he have all the rights and you had none? At what age was your daughter when he owed you the 20k? Why was it against the court order for you to get an attorney?
How did I have rights when I was forced to interact with that thing that raped and tortured me? Having to beg someone for permission to travel somewhere? How was I supposed to heal from the psychological trauma of what he did to me when I was forced to interact with him? I never chose to be with him. I was a child. I was raped and forced to marry that thing by the church and my parents to repent of my sin of fornication. Nothing ever happened to him. I got pregnant twice from the rapes but only had one of the babies. The other baby was miscarried after I was kicked in the stomach. The court system gave him just about whatever he wanted and I was almost never allowed to divorce him. In Virginia you have to be physically living apart from the spouse for at least a year if there are children involved. Every time my year was up he lied in court and said we'd been together when we hadn't and the clock started all over again. He never had to prove it. His word was always gold. The only reason I got the divorce is because the last hearing he ticked off the judge after the judge heard a tape recording of him badmouthing the judge. The judge even terminated his visitation rights. It took nearly four years to get that divorce because of that. I had no rights during that time. The judge always listened to what he said, until he heard that tape. I lived in terror. He stalked me and threatened my life and my daughter's life. The cops refused to do anything, even during the times I had a restraining order. They refused to enforce it. They were all like "but he's your husband" and let him do whatever he wanted. So what rights did I have?
It was against the court order for me to travel outside the radius to get an attorney. I could not get an attorney within the radius because he consulted with all of the attorneys within that radius, deliberately because he figured it would keep me from getting an attorney, and it would be a conflict of interest for them to represent me. What part of that is difficult to understand? In order to obtain the attorney, I had to break the court order and travel outside the radius.
I ended up having to have a hysterectomy in my 20s because of the damage he did to me. It was totally prolapsed. He was never punished for a single thing he did to me. So, what rights did I ever have? I ended up having to break the law to get away from him because he was a government employee with connections and they gave him whatever he wanted.
And while it was going on, before the divorce, I tried to get a gun for protection since the cops wouldn't help me. I wasn't allowed the right to a gun because I wasn't old enough yet. I never knew when he'd pop up and hurt me again. So, what rights did I have? The government sure never recognized any, so they might as well not exist even if I did have any.
While I was out working to earn the support money, Mom was hauling him to play dates, Gymboree, birthday parties and a thousand other things a kid needs. My son never saw a daycare center in his life because I allowed Mom enough money to raise him without working outside the home. I truly feel that she contributed her fair share but with time instead of money.
What was Mom doing all day when kids where in school K-12, then college? She wasn't hauling the kids to play dates, Gymboree, or birthday parties, that's for sure. Plus, you said that you had 50/50 custody, correct? What was Mom doing all the time that you had the kids?
It sounds like your kids got completely financially screwed because of Mom. Even if she worked p/t, only while the kids were in school, say 30 hours per week, and invested the money over 16 years, your kids could have had a nice chunk of change for a downpayment on a house, or money to pursue graduate college degrees without debt, or even PHDs.
Besides this, your post really illustrates my point quite nicely. Financial support is something that only Dad is required to do. Nobody cares if Mom doesn't financially support children.
How did I have rights when I was forced to interact with that thing that raped and tortured me? Having to beg someone for permission to travel somewhere? How was I supposed to heal from the psychological trauma of what he did to me when I was forced to interact with him? I never chose to be with him. I was a child. I was raped and forced to marry that thing by the church and my parents to repent of my sin of fornication. Nothing ever happened to him. I got pregnant twice from the rapes but only had one of the babies. The other baby was miscarried after I was kicked in the stomach. The court system gave him just about whatever he wanted and I was almost never allowed to divorce him. In Virginia you have to be physically living apart from the spouse for at least a year if there are children involved. Every time my year was up he lied in court and said we'd been together when we hadn't and the clock started all over again. He never had to prove it. His word was always gold. The only reason I got the divorce is because the last hearing he ticked off the judge after the judge heard a tape recording of him badmouthing the judge. The judge even terminated his visitation rights. It took nearly four years to get that divorce because of that. I had no rights during that time. The judge always listened to what he said, until he heard that tape. I lived in terror. He stalked me and threatened my life and my daughter's life. The cops refused to do anything, even during the times I had a restraining order. They refused to enforce it. They were all like "but he's your husband" and let him do whatever he wanted. So what rights did I have?
It was against the court order for me to travel outside the radius to get an attorney. I could not get an attorney within the radius because he consulted with all of the attorneys within that radius, deliberately because he figured it would keep me from getting an attorney, and it would be a conflict of interest for them to represent me. What part of that is difficult to understand? In order to obtain the attorney, I had to break the court order and travel outside the radius.
I ended up having to have a hysterectomy in my 20s because of the damage he did to me. It was totally prolapsed. He was never punished for a single thing he did to me. So, what rights did I ever have? I ended up having to break the law to get away from him because he was a government employee with connections and they gave him whatever he wanted.
And while it was going on, before the divorce, I tried to get a gun for protection since the cops wouldn't help me. I wasn't allowed the right to a gun because I wasn't old enough yet. I never knew when he'd pop up and hurt me again. So, what rights did I have? The government sure never recognized any, so they might as well not exist even if I did have any.
I'm just trying to understand. Was the child support order awarded when the child was 4 and you finally got your divorce? Obviously if the court didn't consider you legally separated before then there was no order...correct?
The percentage figure is often written into state law. If the non-custodial parent is a high earner, the custodial parent may receive enough support, that their contribution is unnecessary to maintain a reasonable lifestyle for them and the child(ren).
Not uncommon among well paid athletes and entertainers, who arise from poverty, and retain sexual partners in those environs.
Actually it doesn't matter at all whether the non custodial parent is a high earner. Mom can choose not to work and allow the children to live in abject poverty if the NCP doesn't make a lot, and no one cares. Meanwhile if Dad misses a few payments he has his driver's license suspended and is thrown in jail.
See the problem?
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
