Compliments that aren't really compliments (boyfriend, issues, weight, people)
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This is why I think people should just say nothing,but nothing beats weight issues.
When people compliment others when they lose weight,such as my coworkers "compliment" me by saying"Oh,you look so young" or "you got so prettier".
Well,I don't see those as compliments.
For one,did I not look young when I was bigger?
Did I not look pretty bigger?
I then start to wonder what they thought about me when I was bigger.
Well,I do know since I regained no one says anything to me anymore.
Nah, I still think compliments are nice. I'm pretty open with my compliments because it lifts people up and brings a smile to their face. I compliment strangers, I compliment friends, family. I like to find positive stuff in this crazy world of ours.
The double edged compliments are the ones that can go over so badly. Keep 'em simple in my opinion.
Nah, I still think compliments are nice. I'm pretty open with my compliments because it lifts people up and brings a smile to their face. I compliment strangers, I compliment friends, family. I like to find positive stuff in this crazy world of ours.
The double edged compliments are the ones that can go over so badly. Keep 'em simple in my opinion.
I try to give people the benefit of the doubt and believe most "non-compliments" mean no harm. They are probably squirming internally trying to figure out if they can fix it.
On the other hand, my SIL is one of the passive aggressive sorts. She's one that if you were to call her on her rudeness, she'd bat her eyes and insist that you were overly sensitive and that's not at all what she meant. Fortunately she lives clear across the country, and I've learned it's more fun to be SUPER appreciative of her "compliments" than to react in any negative way.
Nah, I still think compliments are nice. I'm pretty open with my compliments because it lifts people up and brings a smile to their face. I compliment strangers, I compliment friends, family. I like to find positive stuff in this crazy world of ours.
The double edged compliments are the ones that can go over so badly. Keep 'em simple in my opinion.
Yes, you are right. A simple, straightforward compliment almost always works fine.
Nah, I still think compliments are nice. I'm pretty open with my compliments because it lifts people up and brings a smile to their face. I compliment strangers, I compliment friends, family. I like to find positive stuff in this crazy world of ours.
The double edged compliments are the ones that can go over so badly. Keep 'em simple in my opinion.
Right - and though all of us can probably think of an example or two where we inadvertently stuck our foot in our mouths, it's usually not so hard to give a sincere compliment.
Right: "That color looks great on you!"
Wrong: "That color sure does look better on you than the color of the shirt you wore yesterday."
Right: "I love your new hairstyle."
Wrong: "Why did you cut your hair?" (Honestly, why do people ever even ask this?)
Right: "I knew I could count on you to help me with this problem. Thank you!"
Wrong: "Sometimes you get things right."
Right: "Come give me a kiss, you sweet boy!"
Wrong: "This is the first time I've ever seen you with a clean nose, so come give me a kiss."
The compliment is because something has changed and someone else noticed the difference. In most of the examples, the person giving the compliment didn't say or even imply that the person looked bad previously. It's almost like the person receiving the complement has low self esteem and is looking for a way to be insulted. IMO, people are way too easily offended. Being easily offended is a rudeness in itself because everyone else has to deal with it.
I guess this is why nothing is described as just mediocre anymore. It's "amazing", "fabulous", or "to die for" even when it isn't.
In most of the examples, the person giving the compliment didn't say or even imply that the person looked bad previously. It's almost like the person receiving the complement has low self esteem and is looking for a way to be insulted.
Really, in most of the examples?
What about mine:
"Wow, you look great! You lost a ton of weight!" [implication: you had a ton of weight to lose]
"I like your new hairdo--it's SUCH an improvement!" [implication: it looked bad before]
What about the examples other people posted: (I'm paraphrasing, didn't go back and copy/paste)
"You look so good, I didn't recognize you at first" [implication: looking good is unusual for you]
"I like your haircut, it takes years off your appearance" [implication: you looked old before]
"You look so beautiful today, I couldn't believe it was you!" [implication: looking beautiful is unusual for you]
Don't those imply that the person looked bad previously?
I mean, I'm definitely not a hypersensitive person, and I tend to get very annoyed by people with eggshell feelings. But those "compliments" above are certainly backhanded (if intentional) and inconsiderate (if unintentional).
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