Compliments that aren't really compliments

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Sage 80

I once had a "friend" who was so envious of everyone that she could never say anything nice to or about anyone. At first I felt sorry for her that she was so miserable and could only feel good was by putting others down. But I quickly got sick of her and ended the "friendship."

These are some of her comments to me:

1. "That outfit makes you look like you have a good shape."

2. After having invited her to my house for a big dinner for which I had made several complicated dishes that everyone was complimenting me about, and of which she had had three helpings of everything, she said to me, "The white rice was good."

3. After introducing her to my new boyfriend, she said, "That one will never marry you."

I think this must have been the same person as my "friend".

[Dale Cooper]

Originally Posted by Mightyqueen801

Hahaha, you crack me up. Nah, don't wanna send anyone to hell, but I don't believe her intentions were good. People don't say things like that unless they have a little bit of hostility in them.

And it is small potatoes, but I suspected (and see that I am right) that others have dealt with this, so I figured it would be a good topic for the Psych forum.

Wrong. They say things like this because they don't know you well and can't think of anything to say. Sure, it comes out wrong, but hostility has nothing to do with it. People blurt out words without thinking. No big deal. Drop the thin skin and move on. Or continue to think she has an agenda and is out to get you. Your choice.

[Mightyqueen801]

Originally Posted by Dale Cooper

Wrong. They say things like this because they don't know you well and can't think of anything to say. Sure, it comes out wrong, but hostility has nothing to do with it. People blurt out words without thinking. No big deal. Drop the thin skin and move on. Or continue to think she has an agenda and is out to get you. Your choice.

I don't have thin skin and I don't think she has an agenda or is out to get me. I already suggested why I thought she felt insecure, and it had nothing to do with me. I'm not going to repeat myself.