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it may be natural to rebel as teenagers, but most people should grow up
respect others without compromising yourself- if anyone here is talking a survival mentality as not to get bullied, then do 3 things, travel in groups of friends,, carry pepper spray and let em have it..
or have someone else video it and send it to the school/cops/parents
As a senior in high school i witnessed a boy bullying a younger boy....in the restroom,,,so i slammed the bullies head in a urinal and threatened that if i ever witnessed him bullying this kid,,or any other kid,,i will break his arms..
he started crying,,,,,and i offered the kid he was bullying ,,to punch him,,,the kid would not (this showed the bully the kid had more class than he did)
i told the bully if he f---- with this kid, he is messin with me,,, and that goes for any other kid
that kid never got bullied again,,
for the life of me i dont know why schools dont push "mentoring"
younger kids getting matched up with older kids..the older kids mentor them ,, and keep them from getting bullied..
"If you think kids are cruel, wait until you become familiar with adults"
He used to tell me this when I was a kid, very often. Was he trying to warn me about how malicious adults can be?
I'm sure he was and he is 100% correct.
Adults act worse than children. I've been in middle to senior level management jobs most of my post college career and that experience alone, confirms what my dad used to say. I am often times disappointed when I see acts act like complete and utter fools/babies.
When people are born, they're not born "fools/idiots". Adults have the worst behaviors that I've ever seen. Where do all of the "hang ups" come from? Snideness, workplace bullies, prone to debating about ANY and EVERYTHING........adults have a "lock" on complicating things to know end.
If I were a child in this day and age, I'd be highly reluctant to listen to this era of "modern" adults.
Where does idiotic adult behavior come from?
Part of the reason that this behavior persists is that it's rewarded. I agree that some of these people learned to act that way because of their parents, but some of them get their *sses beaten on the schoolyard, or otherwise learn that their behavior is unacceptable.
The people that continue to be jerks well into adulthood do so because, either no one challenges their behavior, or it is outright rewarded. One such example is the customer that screams and carries on in a store or fast food establishment until the manager capitulates and gives them whatever they want because "the customer is always right". People cower to the workplace bullies because they themselves don't want to become the next victim. People act like this learn that there aren't any negative consequences to their behavior.
If businesses had policies in place to address abusive customers and workplace bullies, hopefully this would change, or at least take the offender out of the equation so that they don't make life miserable for everyone else.
Not really -- there are a lot of very nice people. You just have to find them and stop associating with people who make you feel bad.
This.... is exactly what I did when I became an adult. I began to associate myself with good people, nice people. People who aren't hung up on judging others on petty crap because as adults we are out here in the real world and have real responsibilities so there's no energy to be hung up on pettiness and being antagonistic. It really is schoolyard behavior and someone acting in such a way past the age of 23 is really pathetic. I respect the OP's opinion and understand his experiences but that simply hasn't been my experience in adulthood.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mainebrokerman
ignorance breeds ignorance
who are the role models for todays kids??
it may be natural to rebel as teenagers, but most people should grow up
respect others without compromising yourself- if anyone here is talking a survival mentality as not to get bullied, then do 3 things, travel in groups of friends,, carry pepper spray and let em have it..
or have someone else video it and send it to the school/cops/parents
As a senior in high school i witnessed a boy bullying a younger boy....in the restroom,,,so i slammed the bullies head in a urinal and threatened that if i ever witnessed him bullying this kid,,or any other kid,,i will break his arms..
he started crying,,,,,and i offered the kid he was bullying ,,to punch him,,,the kid would not (this showed the bully the kid had more class than he did)
i told the bully if he f---- with this kid, he is messin with me,,, and that goes for any other kid
that kid never got bullied again,,
for the life of me i dont know why schools dont push "mentoring"
younger kids getting matched up with older kids..the older kids mentor them ,, and keep them from getting bullied..
That was a great thing you did man.
As far as this goes, as one poster said earlier, many of these adult bullies were kid bullies who were never expose to the consequences of their actions. I think the thing is that bullies sometimes have superficial traits that attract. They are usually sure of themselves, outspoken, have charisma. Basically to the superficial eye, the appear to be leaders and have confidence. And while charisma and social skills are nice, they should pale in comparison to actions.
People should pay attention to how these bullies handle adversity, do they blame other people for their own failures? Do they lash out at others when things aren't going their way? Do they become downright hostile towards people who have different opinions or are they just abrasive towards people who are different from them in general? Can they take any type of failure, loss or rejection with class and dignity? Or do they throw tantrums and insult the people that denied them or delayed their desires?
I think it's definitely true. I got bullied quite a bit in school, especially by a group of girls in High School. However, I've met some adults that make those girls seem tame, and they were in their 50s. When I first started working at the job I am at now, I was only a temp. The older women did everything they could to try and get me fired and I don't know why. I am a shy quiet girl. I never did anything to them. I just did my work for my eight hours, and I went home. They seemed to really hate me though. It was the three of them that were against me, and if it hadn't been for my team leader I think they would have succeeded. Temps can get fired over any little thing. I think purposely trying to get someone fired for no reason is pretty bad.
I've also met other people who have been pretty rude to me. I was bullied because of my looks, I am not pretty at all. I've met some adults who have been more harsh with me about my looks than teens were. When I was a teenager I used to live in a dream world that once I was an adult, all the teasing and bullying and backstabbing would stop. I wish I could go back and tell my 15 year old self how wrong I was. Adults are a lot worse.
This one woman at my work is one of the biggest bullies there to everyone. She backstabs, she laughs at peoples appearances, she is very manipulative, and yet she speaks at school about how bullying is wrong. She has a Facebook page and everything telling people that bullying has to end. She sets an amazing example...
I've found that the people MOST likely to be abused by sociopath coworkers are, insanely, the ones who are quiet and go to work, do their jobs without making trouble, and then go home. For whatever reason, sociopaths need to drag everyone else into their drama, and quiet people who are just there to do their jobs really anger them. That, and in our warped culture, anyone who's not loud, obnoxious, and overly aggressive is seen as "weak," and sociopath thugs love to prey on the "weak" since they have no courage or value of their own.
Many rotten kids turn into rotten adults, but the adults are worse since their wretched behavior has more serious consequences. It's bad enough to be hated in school, but it's worse when some sociopath bully manager makes the lives of his subordinates a living hell or fires them just for the sick thrill of it. Our nation's culture has warped into a gross parody, where bad behavior is seen as "good," where doing the right thing is "weak," and where it's perfectly acceptable to stab others in the back and treat them like trash provided you're a popular or powerful person. It's disgusting... anyway, I'm sorry for what you've had to go through.
You kind of answered it in a nutshell but didn't realize it - the idiot adults breed, and the children act like them. When you get to know a child and their parent, you can see how the apple usually doesn't fall far.
I've met plenty of demon seed who had fine parents, and now and then, very together and wonderful human beings who overcame absolutely irresponsible and abusive parenting.
I'm a nature over nurture kinda guy -- I do not judge people by their children. My own son does not present very impressively at all, and I'm sure people judge me by him. He's morbidly obese, indifferent to relationships, criticism or praise, and often depressed and stressed out. His life can only be described as "rudderless". He's 27, yet I've lately had to take him under wing and manage his life and get him into the mental health system. We've found he has a Personality Disorder with a dual diagnosis (substance abuse of which we were unaware).
Meanwhile if you only met my daughter you would probably conclude that I was a wonderful father. She makes good $$ as a nurse, is self-directed and ambitious and appropriately assertive, a wonderful mother and wife, positive and upbeat and by all indications, very well adjusted. And she's good looking too.
So which is it? Am I a lazy and neglectful slug who didn't hug my son enough, or a brilliant and loving human being who was fully engaged and a wise mentor? Both kids were raised in the same home with the same mother.
To make it even more Kafkaesque, my son is dutiful and respectful to me, but my daughter, while she is coming around these days, has a history of acting sullen and entitled toward me. If you ignored outward appearances and went by an essay written by my children, you might well think me a great parent to my son and a terrible one to my daughter.
Be careful when looking for simple answers to multifaceted questions!
"If you think kids are cruel, wait until you become familiar with adults"
He used to tell me this when I was a kid, very often. Was he trying to warn me about how malicious adults can be?
I'm sure he was and he is 100% correct.
Adults act worse than children. I've been in middle to senior level management jobs most of my post college career and that experience alone, confirms what my dad used to say. I am often times disappointed when I see acts act like complete and utter fools/babies.
When people are born, they're not born "fools/idiots". Adults have the worst behaviors that I've ever seen. Where do all of the "hang ups" come from? Snideness, workplace bullies, prone to debating about ANY and EVERYTHING........adults have a "lock" on complicating things to know end.
If I were a child in this day and age, I'd be highly reluctant to listen to this era of "modern" adults.
Where does idiotic adult behavior come from?
You're father is a smart man. I was not bullied much growing up. Sure, I met a mean kid here or there but for the most part I did okay in my childhood. My true taste of bullish behavior was an adult. My first professional job where a small group of older women made my life hell. Then when I met my in-laws. Catty behavior, gossip and intentional misunderstandings to create more gossip. It's exhausting. Sometimes I wonder if I had been bullied as a child if that would have given more insight on how to handle situations later in life.
I am in management and my peers are hard working adults but the people that I manage still surprise me with a serious lack of maturity. I am mother and often I feel like a parent at my job. I feel like I have the same conversations with my child as I do at work about responsibility and so forth. It doesn't matter about age either. I have hard working young people on my team who exceed the maturity level of workers that are much older. I suppose it is professional maturity, strong work ethic and so forth.
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