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Really this one thing keeps someone from becoming a man?
In their minds, yes. That is why some virgin guys are obsessed by the "burden" of their virginity and others couldn't care less because they are already confident in their manhood.
I disagree that older virgins are desperate for sex. If they were desperate they would find a way to seduce or procure a woman and nothing would stand in their way. It is more likely that they fear women/sex and intimacy, which is their main barrier to becoming a man.
I have sort of a fetish for virgin men. Don't get me wrong, toxic attitudes will put me way off really fast. But not all male virgins are of that kind.
My enjoyment of them tends to be a for a few reasons... First, it's like when you have a favorite movie you've seen many times, but find out a dear friend has not. You get to enjoy it more when someone in your company is enjoying it for their first time. Second, some men (plenty of them, really) if they are very experienced, think that they are great lovers when they aren't. Like a man who is very well endowed so he assumes that's enough to please a lady, and has no need to learn anything. The worst lover I have ever had claimed a lot of experience, and thought he was good in bed, but he wasn't. Third, a virgin has not learned how to make love based on what worked for other women, and since different things work for different partners, an experienced man might have bedroom habits that don't work for all. The virgin who is really enjoying himself and wants to continue the relationship a while, will be learning what I like, not just bringing a bundle of what he thinks "women" like.
I am presently with an older man, and I was his first. I had a fine enjoyable partner a couple of years ago, and I used to say "on a scale of 1-10, he's like 100." The one I am with now? Trying to discuss him in terms of numerical scales is a bit like asking how many cups of water are in the ocean. He has waited his whole life for this, and he gives it a lot. I found it hard to believe, and questioned him at length about it, how he got to be his age without a partner...it was a combination of a religious period lasting through his late teens and 20's, and a lot of shyness, sensitivity, and awkwardness, and many fears to be overcome. And just bad luck sometimes. Well I'm happy to be the one who has changed all that.
I wish more women did understand that having a virgin lover can be wonderful. It isn't taking one for the team at all. But a toxic minded crazy person like that Elliot guy? His virginity was not really the problem. His head was full of bad, bad mojo. If someone had ended up with him, he probably would have still abused or even seriously hurt or killed her, because he had issues. Such a man could not navigate the trials and complexities of an actual relationship with another person, I do not believe.
Explain? I have a cousin like this. He has no job, lives at home with his parents, and his idea of income is being a rapper. Yet, he's a womanizer who only sees women for sex. The idea of sex that makes a man a man is wrong.
Explain? I have a cousin like this. He has no job, lives at home with his parents, and his idea of income is being a rapper. Yet, he's a womanizer who only sees women for sex. The idea of sex that makes a man a man is wrong.
I can see you completely missed my point. Which was: men who cry about being kissless virgins have tied that failure to their manhood. Virgin guys who are already secure in their manhood are not obsessed with losing their virginity. Do you understand now?
When you think about it, there is really no such thing as a male virgin anyway.
That depends on how you define it, I suppose. I always thought it was someone who had not yet had sexual intercourse. And of course the completion of that act also depends on who you ask, I know plenty of lesbians who have never had sex with a man, but definitely do not consider themselves to be virgins.
I don't associate the word with any sense of purity or morality. But then I also don't associate sex on the part of men or women with any kind of shame, either.
I just read the chilling transcripts from a video posted by the Santa Barbara killer. I was struck by how eerily similar his rhetoric is to some of the young guys who post here. I understand he also posted at bodybuilding.com like many of the guys that come here lamenting the fact that they can't "get a female."
Of course my post title is facetious. But I wonder if getting enmeshed in an Internet community where such ideas are supported may be perpetuating the isolation and disconnection to reality. What can we in our own lives do? If anything?
The guy is mentally off. People often have a sick sense about mentally off people regardless of how good or bad they look.
His lack of social skills and self entitlement to the physical affection of someone else is outrageous and a huge sign that he has mental health issues.
My question maybe men/people who act or think this way need to be locked up before they harm other people.
I agree many men on this forum sound like this guy.
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Noooooooooooooooooo!
