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That thinking, where there's a list of things to be done and then a reward follows, is flawed. There's no arbiter deciding what the "right" things are and when enough "right" things have been done to warrant a reward. Especially when the reward is another person.
I work with a guy who is about 5'5", completely bald and has a pronounced speech impediment. Guess what? He's married and has two kids. I've never seen his wife and it doesn't matter what she looks like. They found each other and are living their lives, oblivious to the stereotypes they aren't following.
That is one lucky couple and the way it should be!
I don't want to turn this into a height thread, but unless a star in some way, a young white or Asian guy maybe 5'6" or under is at a major disadvantage with young white women (which is probably the only type of woman Elliot Rodger wanted). Also, I suspect school-age females usually avoid dating men who look younger than them (as would have been true for him re most of his female peers).
The guy was mentally ill. There is no justifying what he did, he was sick. For all of you trying to tell us it was his height, his ethnicity or because some chick hurt his feelings, you just don't understand mental illness. This country, along with probably every country in the world, needs to look closely at mental health services and maybe start taking this a bit more seriously.
I don't want to turn this into a height thread, but unless a star in some way, a young white or Asian guy maybe 5'6" or under is at a major disadvantage with young white women (which is probably the only type of woman Elliot Rodger wanted). Also, I suspect school-age females usually avoid dating men who look younger than them (as would have been true for him re most of his female peers).
I don't know whether that's true or not. People are attracted to who they are attracted to. But in any case, it only becomes an issue when he assigns a value to women based on looks or boob size or the color they have dyed their hair and then decides he's being treated poorly because he wants the woman he's rated as a 10 but she doesn't want him. If a guy looks at women as people rather than consumer goods, he's much more likely to find love, sex and companionship.
That doesn't make her a 7. A woman who's a foot shorter than me and weighs the same is not a 7.
I personally don't assign numbers to people based on my opinion of their physical appearance in relation to mine, so I can't really respond to that, unless you want to post your special chart showing the criteria for each number grade.
Adjust what? Because as a woman, I don't see it. Many of the guys on here, and on those PUA or PUAhate forums have a distorted idea of how many men are clamoring for a given woman's attention. It is absolutely possible to be an attractive woman and go to a bar, and not have a single guy approach you. It happens all the time.
This myth that woman have endless choices and are swatting men away like so many flies---as a woman, I just don't see it. Single women are always talking about how hard it is to meet guys, decent guys who want a relationship not just a one-night-stand. Now, if you think success is a one-night stand, that's one's perogative, but it's not what most women are looking for.
Quite a number of women are looking for a two night stand. They don't want to crawl in the sack with a guy they meet in a bar, but if he asks them out the next night, they are willing enough. Women want to get laid too. I have had women be clearly disappointed if they invited me in at the end of a date and all I did was talk to them. I was looking for a relationship, they were looking for sex. They didn't want some guy messing up their carefully ordered life.
No kidding. And the idea that people who are dating are consumers who are constantly rating each other on some human Consumer Report scale is alienating for everyone involved.
Maybe it has to do with the over-sexualization of society in general?
I honestly don't get how the ever-lovin' do you apply this philosophy to relationships? Women aren't paystubs or trophies or such, they're human beings who have no more control over their attraction than men do. And by far the majority of men do actually manage to attract someone. (Women like to be in relationships too, you know.)
People clearly read whatever they want in other's posts.
The contention was that if you're going to have a society where "doing the right thing" yields nothing - be it in the job market or relationships, the end result will be more ticked off people refusing to play "the game" any longer. Unfortunately, people seem to be eager to smack down their fellow citizens with this notion - while (of course) screaming to high heaven if *their* actions don't yield results.
Nobody said women are trophies or some such nonsense, but there's no shortage of posts all over the place from single men and women who have "done the right thing" and are still hopelessly single. Of course, all they get is a mix of spite from people - such as some on this very thread - that assumes "something must be wrong with them" and laughable advise such as "be yourself" that they've no doubt already tried.
Point being that if we're going to continue to isolate, ostracize, and assume "something is wrong" with people who are not having any luck in a given area of life, or that they "did something wrong to deserve it," we're going to keep having instances of violence, depression, suicides, etc.
I'm not saying that justifies the killer's actions, obviously, but it is not hard to see how somebody can be driven over the edge with the herd mentality that dominates our culture these days.
Last edited by Rambler123; 05-28-2014 at 12:47 PM..
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