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I never understood a person's attraction to another of the same gender either. As a woman I have never wanted to experiment. My oldest son is gay but didn't "come out" till he was in college. He told us he always knew he was different. I suspected it from the time he was about 12 but he dated girls so I figured I was just imagining things.
He is what he is, it doesn't change my love for him even though I don't understand it at all and I certainly don't want any mental pictures of what he does anymore than if he was straight. Mothers don't want too much information. :-)
Newbie here. The views in this thread are quite varied.
The question of how many men engaged in teenaged male same-sex experimentation (TMSSE) has been debated for decades. Generally speaking, most professionals who have studied teenage sexuality feel that TMSSE is under-reported, and I feel that they are correct. The 10% mentioned by, and questioned by, the OP seems low to me.
It likely depends on what is meant precisely by TMSSE. The acronym suggests investigation with some openness to the possibility that one might be gay or bi. If a broader definition of "any sort of sexual curiosity or exploration with someone of the same gender" then yes, 10% might be on the low side but it's not like accurate figures are obtainable.
In my late pre-teens a friend of mine put a lot of pressure on me to defecate for his viewing pleasure, but I had less than zero interest and did not accommodate him. This wasn't necessarily gay exploration on his part, it may have simply been a developing sexual fetish that was independent of his sexual orientation or just an artifact of his incompletely developed sexuality. Regardless, I suspect there is a lot of pre-pubescent and adolescent curiosity / fascination engaged in that isn't predictive of eventual sexual orientation. I have been told by a couple of different guys for instance that they had a real interest in anal sex with a female partner until they tried it and decided it was actually gross and distinctly a buzz kill. Many things seem better in between one's ears than in reality, and the messy business of sex is one of the areas where this seems especially true.
The OP's indication that part of the appeal of his TMSSE was being in a boys-only school with no girls at hand probably is common in that setting. After all, look at the prevalence of guy-on-guy sex in prison settings. Combine all this with the fact that men are generally socialized to be terrified of the slightest homosexual impulse or attraction in themselves, and again, one suspects massive underreporting / denial going on.
After high school (which was located in a rural, ultra-conservative area) I found out about several male classmates that had engaged in some level of gayness with each other. Heard of a couple through rumors and a couple first hand admissions. Of course many more never said a thing about their experiences.
If anyone thinks that the number is 10% or lower - they are either totally head-up-a$$ ignorant or they are trying to hide something. I would guess 25%+ of guys and 40%+ of girls AT LEAST kiss or get touchy-feely with a member of the same gender at some point growing up. *Some do and end up straight. Some don't and end up gay.
As for the difference between guys and girls... Two girls making out/kissing at a party is almost universally accepted. Two guys doing the same would get some harsh reactions, even if some people there didn't think a thing of it.
I think it depends on what you consider a "same sex experience". A lot of guys in high school and college act pseudo-gay because they think it's funny and it makes people uncomfortable. Interestingly, this is more common in conservative areas and environments where homosexuality is less accepted and tends to happen among guys in who play sports or are in fraternities. Evangelical youth groups and college groups also have a lot of it.
I think it's probably 10% or lower when it comes to actual sexual activity (anal/oral). It's a bit higher for jerking off. However, things like cuddling, hanging out naked, and getting touchy-feely with each other is probably closer to 50%.
I can look at a person of the same sex and acknowledge that they are "attractive." However, there's a huge chasm between recognizing their attractiveness and having thoughts, dreams or desires to engage in sexual activities with said person.
well said. also, im sure it's normal to stare at people of the same sex and just think "i wish i looked like him/her"..because well, you don't feel so good with how you look, not having any confidence sucks
I think it depends on the personality of the two boys, one more submissive, while the other more dominet, unlike a boy and girl, it is not uncommon to leave two boys alone, or have sleep overs. Also each boy going through puberty is effected different. Amount of confusion, range of sexual feeling.
I agree OP. I think it's far higher than 10%. Everybody is bisexual to some degree. It's a spectrum; few are on the extremes, the majority is in the middle. I used to say I was 100% straight, but I can't say that anymore because I have discovered that some gay porn arouses me. I would now say I'm 90% straight or so. I strongly prefer women, and I have never had romantic feelings for a man.
I have had romantic feelings for several women, and I have sexual feelings for 80-90% of the women I encounter in daily life. However, since I acquired a taste for gay porn, I now occasionally encounter men who arouse me as well. Usually men who are more on the feminine side in terms of gender expression.
Statisticsnerd, if you are convinced you could never feel aroused by another male, I would suggest to start with transgender porn and slowly acclimate yourself to that, then go to gay porn where the people are a little less androgynous, then finally gay porn in which people are clearly the same gender. If you are honest with yourself, I think you will find that your sexuality is a lot more flexible than you think.
Like Shane (played by Katherine Moennig) said in Episode 1 of The L Word, "No. Sexuality is fluid, whether you're gay or you're straight or you're bisexual, you just go with the flow."
The only teenagers who have a "same sex experience" are gay. I have never had one, nor have any of my friends from high school, as none of us are gay.
I'd imagine it's only 1-2% of the population, as that is the percent of the population that is gay.
Your not gay until you unless you find yourself only attracted to the same sex neither are you truly bi until you have fully have sex with the same sex either. You might be VERY surprised how many of your friends did have sexual experiences with other guys.
Your not gay until you unless you find yourself only attracted to the same sex neither are you truly bi until you have fully have sex with the same sex either. You might be VERY surprised how many of your friends did have sexual experiences with other guys.
Interestingly a recent study of those between the ages of 13 to 20, although not broken down by male/female, found only 48 percent identified as "completely hetero-sexual". I would say your statement is accurate.
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