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Old 12-29-2022, 12:13 PM
 
11,280 posts, read 19,621,962 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by WouldLoveTo View Post
I agree! Maybe you should just take it and say "Thanks! My mom/son/whoever really loves these!" Then stick it in your bag and turn back to your work. With any luck you'll shock them speechless. Oh, they'll call you ungrateful but maybe they'll get the message.
No way. First, I live alone. Second, if I take it, it will get even worse. Nope. I took some nuts home that they "bought for me special for my birthday" once. I didn't eat them they were loaded with salt and sugar and junk. The next day they wanted to know how many nuts I ate last night. My answer remains No thank you when offered food I don't want.
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Old 12-29-2022, 04:00 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
Reputation: 14954
Quote:
Originally Posted by leastprime View Post
Never, ever, refuse gratis food. {gratis = offer without expectations in return.}
Not "polite" to refuse offered food.
If I witness a person refuse food, my opinion drops a couple of notches of that person.

Second, biggest insult: "What is It?"

YFMV
^^^^^ What if that person being offered the food has a food allergy ?
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Old 12-29-2022, 04:03 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by leastprime View Post
^take a small portion.
And say "Thankyou"


Your small acceptance is minor compared to the effort the host made.

Are you not in a marriage or LT relationship?

YFMV
Are you a doctor/an expert in what amount might trigger a food allergy ?
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Old 12-29-2022, 04:10 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sonic_Spork View Post
I'm just imagining Mrs. Doyle from the show, "Father Ted."

"Go on...go on...go on..."


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RSW6oDckOjo
Your example is more accurate, but I imagined Raymond's mother in Everybody Loves Raymond.
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Old 12-29-2022, 04:18 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by oh-eve View Post
I have only experienced this from really overweight people. They need other people to eat nasty food, too, so they feel better about themselves and less guilty.

When I lived in VA where everyone was big, my coworkers food shamed me. They brought fatty, sugar laden stuff to work and made fun of me before I even said that I am not going to eat. They thought they are being funny, but it was really annoying. Some would say it was bullying.

I think OPs story is really bizarre but maybe you have been acting like a doormat to your family. You need to stand up for yourself, in a polite, non angry manner.
Even before allergies, the bolded was the first thing I thought about when I saw the thread title.
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Old 12-29-2022, 04:45 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleetiebelle View Post
My dad is a child of the Depression, and it makes him bonkers when people load up their plates with food, eat a few bites, and then throw it away. My ex-BIL was a champion of this, and though Dad never said anything to him at holidays, you could tell he was seething about the amount of wasted food.
I'm a second half of the boom baby boomer, and I grew up in one of the most affluent towns in the country. When I was in elementary school, if I tried to stop before I had finished, my mother would say in a cross manner "There are starving children in Biafra, eat what is on your plate". My mother was in elementary school during the depression, but the depression didn't directly effect her at all. Her words to me weren't a result of any deprivation she suffered. She grew up in an even more affluent town than I did and, during the depression, she thought everyone had live in help, drove luxury cars, etc. because everyone she knew did. The security in my family came from my maternal grandparents, and she had that in her household from day one growing up.
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Old 12-29-2022, 05:04 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts View Post
Food is a love language for some people. It falls under acts of service or gifts. It can be as annoying as people who insist on touching others.
Even when the level of education within each of the two families is similarly high, it can be interesting and sometimes amusing when the families of one's two different parents (the two sides of one's family) are from different social classes.
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Old 12-29-2022, 05:16 PM
 
Location: Sydney Australia
2,324 posts, read 1,540,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by otterhere View Post
In Italian culture, too; "Mangia, mangia!" Also in the southern United States.
In traditional Italian culture, preparing food is certainly a way of expressing love.

I do not have a sweet tooth and I have often experienced being almost forced to eat sweet food that I would prefer not to.

But I do not have any food allergies and do not like to cause disappointment so I will have a little. Actually this week we went to the home of my BIL and SIL. She is of Italian heritage but had made a beautiful looking pavlova, our Aussie speciality. I ate a bit and managed to sneak my tiramisu over to my husband. I accepted a handmade Italian biscuit and wandered discreetly in the direction of the rubbish bin.

It is not a big deal to me as this only happens occasionally.
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Old 12-29-2022, 05:25 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Parnassia View Post
Difficult to believe your own mother doesn't know or believe you're diabetic.
Some people are just selfish and they want to do what they want to do.

One of my college roommates spent her high school years in the San Fernando Valley (Los Angeles County). She was born to Israeli parents in Israel and moved to Ohio when she was five, when her father bought a company in Ohio. When she was in the 8th grade, her father sold that company, and bought a company in the San Fernando Valley. When she was in high school, she worked in a supermarket. There was an older male Russian customer who would come in and smoke. It was then (and I assume still is) illegal to smoke in a supermarket in California. My later roommate would always have to shoo this man out. Even though she informed him of the law the first time, this man would always start with "America free country, you can do what you want". That man was selfish. He wanted what he wanted on his own timetable.
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Old 12-29-2022, 06:00 PM
 
33,315 posts, read 12,593,943 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pathrunner View Post
That's part of the power trip and gaslighting. "oh, it's not that bad, have a dish or a bowl or a serving." Etc. I know it's difficult to believe, but it happens.
She sounds like my aunt (my father's brother's wife).

My mother was an upper class WASP who married into a middle class Catholic family, and that aunt of mine was also, similar to my father and uncle (except a bit more prosperous), from a middle class Catholic family. Despite the religious difference, my father's family absolutely adored my mother. They thought she was the best thing that ever happened to my father. This irritated my aunt who, besides sharing a similar background to my uncle and father's family, was 'there first'. Even though my father was a na'er do well in comparison to his wealthy self made younger brother (her husband), that didn't quell my aunt's jealousy. That aunt of mine died in the late 2010s. I shook my head when I read her obituary. She had one of my cousins include, in the obituary, how much she liked to shop . Neither before nor since have I seen that included in an obituary. IMO, arranging for that was tacky.
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