People who force food on others: why? (mom, weight)
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^^This! I have an IBD and after first being DX, I was GF, DF, fiber free, soy free, spicy free. People would still insist that I just eat what they made. Even my family was skeptical about my change in diet and didn't believe it had anything to do with how I felt. It's been 5 years, they don't question me anymore. My 2 friends know about my disease and will tell me, I'm not sure if you can eat this or not. Early on I had a friend say, "Just eat a little," "It can't be the food"..blah blah blah.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ss20ts
Wow that is a lot of things to try to avoid. It must be difficult for you to eat anything that you haven't prepared yourself. Just general grocery shopping must be a pain and time consuming because you have to read every label. I imagine you make most of your food from scratch even things like marinades and sauces. I'm thinking about all the things in my fridge and pantry with soy and spices. Yikes! Seems like everything today has a soy warning on it.
I have major food sensitivities. Not allergies. A doctor finally convinced me. My immune system attacks almost everything I put in it, creating tons of mucus and coughing. I've learned to just eat what I want because the process of elimination never worked. I envy people who know which foods trigger their body. For me, there are myriads.
I have major food sensitivities. Not allergies. A doctor finally convinced me. My immune system attacks almost everything I put in it, creating tons of mucus and coughing. I've learned to just eat what I want because the process of elimination never worked. I envy people who know which foods trigger their body. For me, there are myriads.
Often, the sensitivity increases when eating the same or similar foods on an ongoing basis. IF that is the case, then a rotational diet can help. During the rotation, if there is a flare, you have a head-start on knowing what to avoid for a few weeks. FWIW, the same goes for medications and food supplements.
True! I'm not celiac just gluten sensitive. I just started using sauces on my chicken. Yes totally boring, boring diet, but if I get a flare, that's enough for me to be stricter.
I quit making Sunday Lunch for Dad because I couldn't eat what I prepared for him. But I do cook for him and take it over, he is next door, 93, we live on 10 acres.
My dd is the same way. She figured it out searching the Internet when she was a teen long before most people ever heard the term gluten-free. But she would eat a bagel, and in an hour or two her belly would pop out like she was three months pregnant, followed by pain and diarrhea for a couple of days. She was tested but doesn't have celiac, but she doesn't get stomach pains, bloating, or diarrhea when she doesn't eat gluten.
Wow that is a lot of things to try to avoid. It must be difficult for you to eat anything that you haven't prepared yourself. Just general grocery shopping must be a pain and time consuming because you have to read every label. I imagine you make most of your food from scratch even things like marinades and sauces. I'm thinking about all the things in my fridge and pantry with soy and spices. Yikes! Seems like everything today has a soy warning on it.
Quote:
Originally Posted by harry chickpea
Often, the sensitivity increases when eating the same or similar foods on an ongoing basis. IF that is the case, then a rotational diet can help. During the rotation, if there is a flare, you have a head-start on knowing what to avoid for a few weeks. FWIW, the same goes for medications and food supplements.
Well, I tried that (stopping similar foods frequently). But yes, the rotation idea is good advice.
I have a genetic condition that creates severe lung issues. It's degenerative. At this point and for a few decades now, it's managed. I have a good Pulm near Huntsville Hospital. I do try to avoid the most potent triggers. For example, if I buy a certain bread, let's say a French baguette and it causes a severe reaction I won't buy it again. That happened this morning. I won't be eating the remainder. I have been able to find certain breads (like Dave's Killer for example) that don't trigger as much. There are a lot of fast foods I have to avoid as well. Others are fine - thankfully ones I occasionally enjoy, like Arby's Greek gyro. I just ate some mac and cheese with only a very small reaction. I keep a list of what doesn't trigger a major problem.
Another example is certain peanut butters. I know which ones to avoid like the plague and which ones are do-able.
Well, I tried that (stopping similar foods frequently). But yes, the rotation idea is good advice.
I have a genetic condition that creates severe lung issues. It's degenerative. At this point and for a few decades now, it's managed. I have a good Pulm near Huntsville Hospital. I do try to avoid the most potent triggers. For example, if I buy a certain bread, let's say a French baguette and it causes a severe reaction I won't buy it again. That happened this morning. I won't be eating the remainder. I have been able to find certain breads (like Dave's Killer for example) that don't trigger as much. There are a lot of fast foods I have to avoid as well. Others are fine - thankfully ones I occasionally enjoy, like Arby's Greek gyro. I just ate some mac and cheese with only a very small reaction. I keep a list of what doesn't trigger a major problem.
Another example is certain peanut butters. I know which ones to avoid like the plague and which ones are do-able.
I'm sorry you live with this. It sounds exhausting, frustrating, and really annoying. Like if PB&J were your favorite thing on the planet it would suck that you couldn't eat it.
Thank you! The good news is, I can eat that! With the right bread, and the right peanut butter And I do eat a lot of it. In fact, periodically I have to not buy it because I binge on it.
Cultural differences sometimes come into play. Korean friends have told me that if you're at a party in Korea, and the host offers you seconds, you're expected to refuse. The idea is, it's considered an insult if you accept right away, because it means that the host didn't feed you enough the first time around. So you refuse, and when you're asked again, you refuse again. I think they said it's OK to accept more on the third time around, or maybe it was the fourth. I told them not to try that in America. You get asked once, and if you refuse, the host will assume that you're full, or you didn't like the food, and it would be rude to ask again. So if you don't accept the first offer, you'll go hungry.
Heavy/overweight people tend to do this. They want to eat all the time and they push eating onto others around them (usually thinner people) to validate their own eating abuses. Thin people aren't constantly eating.
Heavy/overweight people tend to do this. They want to eat all the time and they push eating onto others around them (usually thinner people) to validate their own eating abuses. Thin people aren't constantly eating.
Happens all the time, per that "community" (I follow various bariatrics groups). I am a morbidly obese person in remission. The condition is chronic, there is no cure, only steps to abate symptoms. I've been at a stable and healthy weight 14 months but it's ....life to go. Challenge accepted. But I do understand the thinking.
The short form of what you describe is "crabs in the bucket." I don't associate much with other morbidly obese people anymore. They find my emphasis on health and fitness...not obsession, just mindfulness each day...exhausting to their efforts to eat themselves to death. I don't have an opinion other than to keep away from crabs in the bucket that pull down others trying to escape.
A few people who I know will make food for someone, without being asked, and try to force the person to eat it. Even if the person never asked for it, never stated that s/he likes it and may not even be hungry. Then the food-forced gets angry.
If you do this to people, why do you? Why make food for someone without knowing if the person likes it, and then getting angry at the person if the person doesn’t eat it?
Well I don't, but I was raised to always accept food offered by your host. It is a social tradition that goes back centuries. When one enters your home, you offer them food. It is a symbolic gesture. To refuse one's host's hospitality show poor upbringing and reflects poorly on your family.
As my mom used to say: you only have to take one spoonful. Smile (even if you are gagging). Thank your host for their generosity, set the plate aside, and then go on with your reason for being there.
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And I do eat a lot of it. In fact, periodically I have to not buy it because I binge on it. 
