Where do the single 30's-40's guys hang out? (Raleigh: how much, neighborhood)
Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill, CaryThe Triangle Area
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I was still in my 20s when I met my (now) husband, but he was in his early 30s at the time. We lived in a city where it truly was difficult to meet "quality" people, whether for a possible relationship or even just as friends. We met because we were each looking for a roommate. I posted an ad on a web bulletin board, detailing exactly what I wanted in a roommate, which happens to be similar to the basic minimum qualities I would want in a mate as well.
He answered the ad; we met to look at an apartment. He told me he couldn't be my roommate because of the attraction. He ended up rooming with another female; I lived with someone else. We dated for three years, then moved up here and finally became roommates. The rest is history.
We have friends locally who met on eHarmony two years ago. They have been married for a year now.
We also have several friends who are experiencing the same thing the OP is, both males and females. I think some of them are overly picky or have unrealistic expectations. They are all very social and do all the things everyone says to do in order to meet people. Sadly, something I see often is a person being unwilling to overlook faults in potential dates, but being unwilling to address his/her own weaknesses.
One thing is for sure, I feel very lucky to have a wonderful husband and not have to be on the dating scene!
DC?! I'm all for venturing out, but 250 miles is pushing it...
if you met someone that WOW'd you..and you know that feeling I'm talking about...You would make it work. 250miles is doable. Funny how love and lust will make you do things you say you'd never do. Hey, it beats having to lower your standards and just settle for the next best thing. I once met a guy in a hotel bar (we were both staying at the same place) he lived in Manhattan and I was in DC. I had free flt. benefits so I flew up to see him for a date. We had a blast but he end up moving to LA soon after we met, now that's too far, and besides we just met.... we have since remained friends now for over 5yrs...
I'm not hitting on you ... but if you are male, single, 30's-40's...where do you spend your free time and hang out with friends?
I've mentioned before in posts, I've only been in the area for a few months but all of the new (single) girlfriends I've made since moving here say they have had trouble finding quality single men their age (30's-40's).
Being new the area I don't know what to tell them...so I'm wondering...where are they?
You're joking but apparently this does happen with old people. The few remaining men become quite the prize.
'tis true. My grandfather survived my grandmother by a couple of years and in his assisted living facility, he had a lot of "girlfriends" who were awfully smiley at him...
For other women, the most important definition of "quality" would be a man who is an extrovert, so she should go to Durham Bulls baseball games or Hurricanes hockey games.
This is news to me that you have to be an extravert to go to a sports event!
And I see Mike beat me to posting the article from today's N&O. I instantly thought of this thread when I saw it, of course.
RE: the phenomenon of single men being a "prize" in senior communities, my dad, who was living in such a place, summed it up once as "_____'s wife died last month, and the widows are already circling."
My wife was watching a movie the other night. One of those romantic comedies about a woman looking for Mr Right. My wife said "I'm SO glad that I don't have to date anymore!" So, that taught me a valuable lesson. . . . . .I can screw up pretty bad and my wife will stay with me because the alternative is re-entering the dating scene in her 40s
So yer sayin 'She drinks to make me interesting' huh?
Really, I'm puzzled about why this has become the focus of the thread .....
So, rather than trying to pinpoint what "quality" actually means, how about answering the OP's question about where to find eligible bachelors?
Thanks.
Having skimmed this thread, I have to agree with this comment that the focus has gone off the deep end.
The OP asked a simple question. She wants to know where single men of a certain age group hang out. Lots of folks have replied with constructive suggestions. But more and more, this thread is turning into an attempt to personally attack the OP by giving her an Inquisition-style grilling over her taste in men, her standards, and the definitions of various words that she or perhaps others have used to describe what they're looking for. Heck, before you know it, we're going to be talking about what the definition of "is" is.
One of the things that I've noticed about the Internet is that people feel that the sense of anonymity makes it safe for them to unleash their inner-14-year-old self, that bottled up adolescent who is perpetually insecure and lashes out at others to feel something other than completely worthless. I don't think people ever really grow out of that. I think that they simply repress it to due society's demands of propriety. I've encountered it on pretty much every forum throughout the Web.
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