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For a lot of people it takes time, that time can be several months to several years. Its never easy to leave home especially when family and friends are not moving along with you. Some find it a challenge to start a new while others feel the weight of trying to start a new. It is a challenging time to find employment for everyone, so you are not alone on that one. Keep trying I'm sure you will find what you are both looking for. Just takes time!
IMO that will solve some of the burden you are feeling but not all. You still are living away from friends and family and until you meet new friends and start your life here you will continue to feel alone. I think at one time or another all of us that transplanted here have said to ourselves, what in Saint Christopher have I done? Especially if you transplanted a family here with middle and high school students, who miss their friends worse than we miss our families. But with time everyone usually makes the adjustment.
I wish I knew of a quick fix to get over the, gosh I miss home syndrome but I don't. I hope it all works out for you and keep the faith, it does get better with time!
I feel that I was good with it immediately, but I took a transfer with a company from Mooresville, and had visited several times. So I had work, and was a little accustomed to the area.
My wife had never seen Wake County, so it was a leap of faith for her. It was a more difficult adjustment that took her a year to 18 months, but after 11 years, it is "Home."
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
I agree with this. I would urge anyone considering moving here because "it's cheap" to strongly reconsider. If you like the weather, or the lifestyle agrees with you--great. You need to make sure you're actually going to get inspiration and enjoyment out of a big move like that. Make sure it's a change you really need, and not something that could be resolved within yourself. Also, consider the friends and family thing. You can swing it for a couple years, but you may (or may not) miss that once the honeymoon is over.
I am one (well - DH & I) that are pressed to move off Long Island and down south. We both grew up here and it is 'home'.
It really is more than a few hundred dollars... our mortgage & taxes went from 3375.00/mo to 3600.00/month. That added to the rise in fuel, food... etc. is just more than we can handle. We are paying our bills, but not without countless hours of work (I mean 18 hour days). We have no life because of the work. We don't vacation or just 'blow' money on even a pizza take-out. Our car insurance is 2500/year with no accidents or incidents.
Oh, by the way, we live in a 'starter house' as well.
We would be looking for 'life' when we move. Not just smaller bills. We have a one year old daughter - we want her to have a chance too...
We are looking at Wake County or Charlotte right now.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
Agreed-but...
First of all the difference financially might be way more than a couple of hundred dollars on a mortgage payment, especially if the area you are leaving is as expensive as the metro suburbs of New York.
Read LI2 South's post again-$3600 mortgage/taxes monthly on a starter home and $2500 annual car insurance. Think about what kind of income REALLY supports those expenses and you begin to understand the burden people carry in those areas. You get so overwhelmed trying to keep the bills paid that you are useless to your family. You can spend 3 to 4 hours a day COMMUTING over and above a long workweek in those areas.
Secondly-leaving everything I've ever known was the best decision I ever made. Everyone's circumstances are different, but some of us didn't necessarily have wonderful or frequent family get-togethers that we gave up to relocate.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
For us (DH and I), it was much more than just the real estate prices that drew us to NC. We had a nice home and a good life. Our kids were grown, living away with no plans to return to RI. Yes, we were able afford a home here that would have been unattainable in New England but we "bought up" so our mortgage payment is about the same as are our real estate taxes. Much more than this is an overall improvement in our quality of life - slower pace, more laid back, so much less frenetic. The weather was also a major factor - we've had it with months of cold, snow and ice. We both love it here and feel the move was the best thing we could have done. Sure we miss family but the pros outweigh the cons in our opinion.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
We are also in the boat of leaving most of the family behind, but love the choice of moving here. Yes it is much more affordable here, but that is just one factor. We enjoy many of the other aspects that people have mentioned here. It all depends on what someone has where they originally came from. Some areas of the country are really struggling economically or have poor weather or have other issues. People sometimes just want a change of scenery in life. There are dozens of reasons why people move here. The cost benefits are just one thing that most people end up having in common, but I don't think it is the sole reason for most people moving.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
Finally! Someone touches on the elephant in the room!
I've been reading this thread, all the while amazed by those who have moved here without first having a job and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live.
I don't know which gets me more.....how some people could be so reckless in their decision-making or how some people know themselves so little (what they like, what they want out of life, etc.)
The moral seems to be:
Unless you utterly loathe the town you're living in, you're probably not going to be all that happy here. If you have good feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships wherever you are, then you should probably just stay there. In other words... If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
1. Real Nathan's franks with casings are at Fresh Market
2. Bruegger's bagels are close to NY
I second the Nathans suggestion at Fresh Market.
BUT as someone transplanted from the NJ/NY area (but not originally from there, have lived in the midwest most of my life), I really can't say Brueggers are the closest to NY bagels. Oh I'd like them to be bc its closer to my house but I give kudos to Manhatten Bagel Company in Cary in the Crescent Commons shopping center (with the Harris Teeter and WalMart).
These bagels are pretty authentic and the closest we've found anywhere in the south. The "schmeer" is like a NY "schmeer" of cream cheese. The service/atmosphere is like an authentic bagel deli from the north. The menu is even like a northern style bagel place.
To be on topic: I too have found it hard to settle in. It must the area I live in but its so disjointed due to all of the schools options. No one is on the same calendar or same release time. And my neighborhood seems to be transient. Just when you make good friends, they move away.
We miss a good snow but the longer we go without it I'm not sure I want a really big snow. I have forgotten how to drive in it...I grew up in the northern midwest.
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and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live. 
