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Finally! Someone touches on the elephant in the room!
I've been reading this thread, all the while amazed by those who have moved here without first having a job and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live.
I don't know which gets me more.....how some people could be so reckless in their decision-making or how some people know themselves so little (what they like, what they want out of life, etc.)
The moral seems to be:
Unless you utterly loathe the town you're living in, you're probably not going to be all that happy here. If you have good feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships wherever you are, then you should probably just stay there. In other words... If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I disagree with your moral. We just moved from Northern California. I have lived there all my life, born and raised. I lived in a small community in an ideal location from shopping, my job. What not to like, right? WRONG! I lived in a 1400 sq. foot townhome with a huge mortgage, taxes and insurance. My HOA dues were $300/month. My PG&E bill in the summer and winter were running about $500/month (spring and fall around $250). I lived on a hill and everytime there was an earthquake, we shook but good. Crime was bad...well I could go on and on. My daughter finished high school, I sold my house and we were ready to go. Now hubby and I have been looking at locations for 3 years prior to moving. Yes things are inexpensive in NC (not everything) but now that we are here, there is such a better quality of life. Friendlier people, I know my neighbors (rarely talked to any of them in CA), even looking for a job has been "friendlier". There is much more than expense involved here. I do get a little lonely sometimes but I know in time with a job, I will make friends and things will be better. In the meantime we are enjoying learning about this city and state and enjoying finding new places.
I think what people fail to realize is that happiness is about the PEOPLE in your life, not a cheap house and lower taxes. I don't understand why so many people are finding it so enticing to leave everything they've ever known to come to NC to save a few hundred bucks on their mortgage payment.
People in your life are an important element for certain but my wife and I were staring down the barrel of bankruptcy if we stayed on Long Island.
Leaving behind our social network was clearly the number one negative element in the decision-making process. But the stress of living under the scepter of financial ruin every day, despite making a good living and living within our means was destroying any quality of life.
And for the record, the move resulted in our non-discretionary monthly spending being nearly halved. Plus we also wanted to leave behind the aggressive, materialistic morales so typically associated with the New York area. My oldest child commented a few months ago that he never wanted to move back; people are nicer here and don't really care how much stuff you have.
The financials are what made us consider alternate places to live but common sense led us to Raleigh. Over a year later and with things not even remotely going according to plan we consider our move a success story.
Finally! Someone touches on the elephant in the room!
I've been reading this thread, all the while amazed by those who have moved here without first having a job and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live.
I don't know which gets me more.....how some people could be so reckless in their decision-making or how some people know themselves so little (what they like, what they want out of life, etc.)
The moral seems to be:
Unless you utterly loathe the town you're living in, you're probably not going to be all that happy here. If you have good feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships wherever you are, then you should probably just stay there. In other words... If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I think it depends on the reasons why the person or family is moving. Saving a couple of hundred bucks a month on a mortgage payment and lower taxes can mean the difference between making it and going under. Sometimes it's a hard decision to move, but a family takes the chance because of the stress of finances. Or, maybe a job transfer was necessary.
If finances are that bad, then making a bunch of trips down here may not be possible (or one extended trip), which is what it would really take to know if NC is THE place they want to live.
In other words, generalizing that most of these people's moves were "reckless" is unfair imo, unless you know them personally and can attest to their past behavior as being so.
Plus, if it wasn't broke, I don't think people would have moved to NC -- moving long distance is not a pleasure move -- so something must have been broke...
People in the area are lucky that they're not in the situation to have to make hard choices -- lucky that your area is the one prospering -- which can also makes it hard to empathize with others and what might or might not be the case. I'm not saying everyone in NC does this or everyone on this board does this, but it does happen.
Finally! Someone touches on the elephant in the room!
I've been reading this thread, all the while amazed by those who have moved here without first having a job and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live.
I don't know which gets me more.....how some people could be so reckless in their decision-making or how some people know themselves so little (what they like, what they want out of life, etc.)
The moral seems to be:
Unless you utterly loathe the town you're living in, you're probably not going to be all that happy here. If you have good feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships wherever you are, then you should probably just stay there. In other words... If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I missed this one when writing my previous post.
We didn't loathe the town we moved from, we loved living there.
We had great feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships (and still do).
And as for being 100 percent convinced that anything is without a doubt the right decision I just don't consider that realistic. So many people come to these forums and read these posts so they can find others who are aligned with their circumstances and leverage off their perspective. I would hate to think that for those considering (wrestling with) the decision to relocate they would need to worry about being completely certain it was right for them and their family.
I've said this many times before within these threads; the decision to relocate to the Triangle needs to be an informed one. If you go through a thorough process and reach the conclusion that this is where you want to be odds are in your favor that it will work out.
Finally! Someone touches on the elephant in the room!
I've been reading this thread, all the while amazed by those who have moved here without first having a job and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live.
I don't know which gets me more.....how some people could be so reckless in their decision-making or how some people know themselves so little (what they like, what they want out of life, etc.)
The moral seems to be:
Unless you utterly loathe the town you're living in, you're probably not going to be all that happy here. If you have good feelings, sentimental attachments and close relationships wherever you are, then you should probably just stay there. In other words... If it ain't broke, don't fix it.
I have to defend the relocators here. Since when is anyone 100% sure about a move? There are many beautiful places to live in this country, but there isn't one place that will be perfect. There are always doubts, but you do your research and choose based upon the information you have. While I am sure you're right that SOME people are reckless and/or do not know themselves very well, not every person who moved here and regretted it can be painted with that brush.
I also respecfully disagree with the moral. People who "loathe" the town they live in (i.e. feel THAT strong of a dislike) may very well be characterologically negative in attitude and would likely feel that way about many other places as well. Again, I'm not talking about people who simply dislike an area, I'm talking about what is described in the above-quoted post: "loathe".
I have lived in several cities and have loved every place I have lived for different reasons. Every town has its good and bad; it's a matter of what you choose to focus on. I didn't leave those places because I hated them; I left them because they either no longer met my family's needs, I wanted a better climate, or I wanted to move closer to family, or some other reason. For example, I'm about to leave the Chicago suburbs after living here a year, and I LOVE this area! I could go on and on about why I love it here, but we're leaving because family is in the South and we can't handle another brutal winter. I'm going to miss the Chicago summers the most, but I plan to come back up and visit the great friends we've made!
I read something somewhere to the effect of... if you're wondering what people are like in a new city, ask yourself what they are like in your old city, and you'll likely find they are the same way. If you tend to see people as rude and uncaring in your current setting, you'll probably find people in a new place to be rude and uncaring. If you think that people are generally good and nice with just a few bad apples among them, you'll likely find that to be the case everywhere you go.
Finally, from what I'm reading, many of the individuals pouring their hearts out about not feeling the love for the triangle area yet haven't been here very long. These individuals are going through a normal adjustment period, one which I am about to go through as well when I move into the area Labor Day weekend. It takes time to make a house a home, and that goes for a town as well. Let's all be easy on ourselves and each other.
^
I agree. One doesn't need to hate one place in order to move. It may just be that for whatever reason it's not working (proximity to family, expenses, etc). Sometimes a change of scenery is a good thing if it's really going to make a difference in one's quality of life. It's not always so black and white, particularly if one has a sunny disposition and can get along in a number of living environments.
I also don't think moving without a job is always "reckless"....it really depends on one's own circumstances. I think it would be reckless for a Californian (for example) to keep flying out here for interviews that may not lead to a job...they'd be much better served to get here first in many cases where they can hit the ground running when they arrive. If there are kids involved, that complicates things..I do think money is important (and a good reason to consider relocating), but I wouldn't let that be the sole driving factor in any move. I think people do that, and they end up very unhappy in the long run.
I moved from Seattle last year (not so much by my choice). I think this area has a lot of potentials but at its state right now, I really wish I didn't have to move here.
I am a software engineer and left Microsoft to come here. My initial research showed a lot of positive things, like good quality of life, pay was comparable and I was looking for a quiet life (tired of living in downtowns). I had never heard about RTP before and was surprised to find out so many companies are here. Everything looked so good and I had no idea why EVERYONE was asking me why did I move here.
It took some time for me to find out that there is a reason not everyone is moving here.
I have been working as a software consultant for many companies around here (Progress Energy, Square 1, Kimly-Horn, FHI, RTI, R. J. Reynolds, Channel Advisor, ...) and their IT departments look like have been sleeping last 20 years. How hard is it to see how sucessful companies do stuff and copy that? I was not surprised to see the lay-off that has been going on in RTP recently.
I only mentioned the IT as I have more experiance in this area but I think everywhere you look you can see things can be easily improved but for some reason they are not.
Can someone just explain to me why there are abondoned cars in the highways or street or why there are so many unmarked police cars driving around?
Location: Formerly Pleasanton Ca, now in Marietta Ga
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I just visited and from what I can see I love it. It would be very scary to move without a job and that's what I would have to do.
I agree about the friends issue. I don't have that many here, but I could see not having any in NC would be depressing. It seems like if you make a concerted effort, you could make friends almost anywhere, so I wonder if some of these posters are mostly sitting at home feeling bad about things rather than trying to meet people.
As far as the person making the statement of cheap housing and expenses, I think that is way off and he may not have ever had to live under the pressure of high expenses. I was looking at a home here in california and putting down $350,000 down payment. My PMI would have run about $7,000 a month for the next 30 years. I found a house about equal to that that I could pay all cash for . So I would ask that poster how well he would do and how much stress he would have trying to cover $84,000 a year for a house in Cali vs approximately $3,600 a year for an equilvilant home in Raleigh.
I do think that people need to come with a fair reserve for a few years while you job hunt though.
My wife and I moved down here mostly on a whim a few years ago. She had a job offer at one of the major universities, and we just sort of moved for the heck of it. No kids, we were renting, so we were portable. A few years on, the area is treating us very well. We've done well for ourselves in terms of work and finances (though we both work in health care/education and know we'll never get rich doing so), but it was a hard adjustment for us. Being married 20/30something non-churchgoers with no kids, we found it very difficult to make friends in an area where huge social outlets for those at a similar station in life is either where they go to church or what they do with their kids. Fine for others, but not for us.
But, we're still young and this area has a lot to offer in terms of work experience and graduate educational opportunities. So we're building a house, and plan to be here for a little while, but definitely not the rest of our lives.
We have been here permanently for about 2 months now. Our 2005-2008 Tax Return has $142,000-$154,000 in income in Seattle. We might make $60,000 between the two of us here. We knew this moving here and have no regrets at all. For us, it was about the weather and lifestyle. We love it here.
In my opinion, it is all relevant to your state of mind. If you come here expecting to immediately make the same $ as the place you lived for say 20 years, it is not likely to happen and will feel letdown You need to realize you can't put a $ sign on happiness. When we moved, we both accepted the fact we might have to swallow our pride and go back to the ole...."A dollar for a days work." And basically with the exception of a little rental income on the side, that is what we have done. We are very happy here. We have met good friends, found a church we like, absolutely love the weather and going to the beach for a day here and there. This place has so much to offer, but you have to get out there in the middle of it.
As for jobs, consider having to bite your pride for a while. We are doing it, working well below our old professions and have no complaints. Hang in there, it will get better, but at the same time, you have to make it happen.
My 02 cents.
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and/or not being 100 percent convinced that NC is definitely, without a doubt, THE absolute place that they wanted to live. 
Dollars and sense.
