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If you originally planned on being in your home on November 10th, let them know in no uncertain terms they must vacate your home and have it in pristine condition on November 9th.
I'd stick my foot up my daughter's a$$ if she did something like this.
The OP has no legitimate gripe with her daughter and also no gripe with the daughter's friends. If there is any problem at all it may be with her husband. She should discuss her misgivings with him and determine if there really is a problem or if she's overreacting because she was not consulted in advance of his telling them it was okay.
Since other people have used the house in the past without problems I don't know why she (and a lot of people here) are anticipating problems this time around. I smell a "control" problem, nothing else.
You can make all the ground rules you want, it doesnt mean you wont get your house back without holes in the wall and kitty pee everywhere. Are you prepared to take them to court for the damage?
Only way I would do it at this stage (if saying NO doesnt work) is to have them sign a lease and give you a deposit ahead of time. These are not friends, this is a business transaction.
What if they arent out by the 10th? Are you prepared to evict?
I realize your daughter asked before saying yes. I also noticed she asked her dad who may be a pushover when it comes to his daughter. Just a thought. I have let good friends stay in my house for short periods of time when I wasn’t there. But not in my bedroom or bathroom where my personal belongings were. And they were my good friends. My concern would be that it might become something that starts happening often. Once you’re generous with non-friends/family & word gets out, you may have people asking all the time. I suggest nipping this in the bud right now. I doubt you bought this 2nd home intending it to be a flop house.
Since other people have used the house in the past without problems I don't know why she (and a lot of people here) are anticipating problems this time around. I smell a "control" problem, nothing else.
Because SHE as the homeowner made that allowance and SHE as the homeowner does not know the people it was offered to and what she does know she doesn't like. Plus there's something to be said for intuition...maybe she just has a "feeling" these people won't be able to be out by the time she wants to move in (which is just one month away) and doesn't want to deal with that on the back end.
What is the OP supposed to do if these people aren't out by November 9? Why is this her problem?
***Back to the original question of whether these people should be contacting the OP....I'm trying to put myself in their position and honestly it's hard to say without knowing the dynamics between these people and the daughter and what the conversation was. My guess is since the daughter made the offer these people are under the impression that she is in full control of the house and the only thanks given and arrangements made are going through the daughter.
Our daughter asked before she offered the house==as I said initially--
She didn't offer it to her friends w/o asking us
My husband said yes w/o really taking time for us to discuss it--
The insurance policy we have allows it--
We asked when we took it out if it would cover having people stay there when we were not--
Since it was a second home and was next door to our daughter's we knew it was likely that our son in law's family or others might stay there--
We just didn't envision having someone there a month
We need to contact the people who will stay there and establish ground rules
Your policy will allow an occasional stay, but not if you have a lease which I would really consider in this situation! In that case, no you would need a landlords policy. At any rate I wouldn't allow this scenario to happen!
.......Since other people have used the house in the past without problems I don't know why she (and a lot of people here) are anticipating problems this time around. I smell a "control" problem, nothing else.
There is a world of difference between letting good friends who have their own house to go back to, stay for a week of vacation and letting strangers, who don't have anywhere else to go, into your house.
There are several threads on this forum made by people who were doing a friend who needed a place to stay a favor and then found that they couldn't get that person out.
Just because the guest says they have a place to go to in a month doesn't make it so. What happens if their home purchase falls through and they have no place to move to? Or even if their purchase is delayed for a couple of weeks? OP needs to have her house back on time because she is planning to move into it herself.
Our daughter asked before she offered the house==as I said initially--
She didn't offer it to her friends w/o asking us
My husband said yes w/o really taking time for us to discuss it--
The insurance policy we have allows it--
We asked when we took it out if it would cover having people stay there when we were not--
Since it was a second home and was next door to our daughter's we knew it was likely that our son in law's family or others might stay there--
We just didn't envision having someone there a month
We need to contact the people who will stay there and establish ground rules
You are exactly right about ground rules with the folks who are staying there. Suggest you also set a firm move out date at least 2 days before you (now firmly do plan a date) arrive to give them time to clean. Some rules I suggest; oh, and get the rules in writing and have both adults sign and you and husband sign and copies to everyone.
They give you a $300 deposit and you will refund the difference between normal utilities and increased utilities.
They will leave the house and pool clean and all linens laundered.
They will replace anything broken.
Set up precise move out date. Better to have the date set and accomodate later if you want then have it open ended
After its all over, have a talk with both daughter and husband about making sure you and hubs are both involved in these decisions.
We have two homes--one in TX where we are now and planned to stay until November when we would go to house in FL
Our daughter lives next door to our FL house
She has friends who have wanted to sell their house for several years but because of its location and what they paid that has been difficult to do She called several weeks ago and said they might have found a buyer and wanted to know if they/the friends could stay at OUR FL house if they were to close so they had time to find/move into a house themselves My husband said yes--without really discussing it with me---making me the bad guy if I tried to back out
Well the deal is going through--they apparently will close on their house and have found a house to buy
Our daughter called yesterday to say they would probably move into OUR house this next weekend and have their stuff in storage until early November after they close on new house
She even offered to let them stay longer if they needed to paint or something in the new house--without checking with us...
I am getting a little ticked off-
This couple that we have known for several years--as friends of our daughter/SIL--are not really friends of OURS....they don't spend any time with us when we see them at our daughter's house on special occasions like our grandson's birthday---we don't even really like the husband who can be loud and "life of the party" guy...
THEY have not called us to say thank you--to ask/offer to pay rent--and I doubt they will
My husband won't be the one to call them either or set parameters--
He won't want to make our daughter uncomfortable
Our daughter is the one who has put herself in the middle but I know her
She won't complain to them about what is doing on there
Our SIL's mother and sisters have stayed there and another set of their friends stayed there for a weekend several years ago---
HIS mother is very careful--they broke a broom and she replaced it--wrote us very nice thank up notes on the different occasions and always cleans up---we never mind if they stay there
But these people I just am uncomfortable--
They have two kids of their own and a niece who basically lives with them
Think they have a cat--
What type of communication should we be expecting to take place
What type of ground rules for a stay of a month or so???
We planned to return to FL after the 10th of November but didn't have specific date set
I don't want to change MY plans because they have problems closing their deal or want to do something like paint prior to moving in...
But I don't think WE should be the one to initiate the conversation
Am I wrong/heavy handed to think the people borrowing OUR house should be the ones to make first contact???
Why didn't you talk to them ... weeks ago?? .. when your daughter made them this offer?
You don't say whether they asked or if your daughter offered. I'm guessing your daughter offered.
Call them yourself, tell them you are happy they got an offer and how exciting that they are buying a new house. Say how happy YOU are that you have a new house too, and are looking forward to moving in. Then say there has been a miscommunication and that they need to be out by XXXX because YOU are moving into YOUR house.
That's all.
You are making this into a bigger deal than it is. Be a grown-up, pick up the phone and tell them what the timeline is.
Why can't people be grown-ups anymore? sigh.
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