Almost a 40 year old virgin... (Christian, girlfriend, male, gay)

[curliq]

Originally Posted by TexasNick

I'm a little confused with your thinking here. You said there's nothing wrong with porn. Then you say that this woman is clearly suffering from it. I think there are numerous studies that show porn, if left unchecked, can destroy a relationship. Porn is an addiction. Once you dig yourself too deep in it, it's very hard to get out. People start fantasizing their partners to be like the actors in the video and often times it's hurtful. I find it laughable how porn is now considered "normal" in society. Perhaps the reason America has so many problems with divorce rates, sexual harrassments, etc is due to porn.

Sorry to confuse - I should've typed "there's nothing wrong with porn used in moderation". I don't knock people for being curious or augmenting their relationships with it, but I believe people who substitute real relationships with porn might get themselves in trouble, for sure.

[cremebrulee]

Originally Posted by sun queen

Hey everyone I have a friend who is in his mid 30s. He is a handsome guy with a good work ethic. He has a great personality-a little shy though. The only thing is he has been having problems dating. He is saving himself for that someone special. He says he is a virgin Yeah believe it. And he says the problem is that most women do not want to be with him because he has no experience... For argument sake lets assume my friend is really telling the truth about his virginity and that he is not gay. He asked me if I would date a guy in his situation. I had never thought about that before so I wanted to know from the ladies and guys u r free to comment as well: Would u prefer to be with a man who has had previous experience or one with no experience at all?

give him a couple of bucks and take him to meet someone who has a lot of experience and can teach him a few things.... yanno, 1-800-BABE

[wallstreeterww]

who is the poster boy for our 65% divorce rate society. Love is something that almost all of us have the capability to feel, but you on the other hand see only the instinctful, lustful part of sex . I have the experience of knowing what love is and sex is just an extension of love .

Its ok if you dont believe in god but that is your belief , but if i believed that man was just a bunch of muscle, bone and ganglions I would consider myself to be a very shallow person. You obviously must love the bimbos lol. I hope no one on this forum asks me why we have a 65% divorce rate these days cause after this last post everyone should understand why. To you marriage is a piece of paper. Why get married? why have kids?

I wonder what your definition of love is. Let me guess. "I saw this hot babe and my ganglions just flashed and sent the signal to my lower end that she is worth doing". I just hope you make enough money to get someone on teh side and buy a maid to clean the house lol.

When people tell me we have a 65% divorce rate my response is " is it really that low?", and when a man can look at any woman as just a piece of flesh that is made to pleasure him that is when he can dump her like a piece of trash at any point and move on to the next piece of meet.

Ill end this post with a little khalil gibran type philosophy.

For in your fear you would seek only loves peace and only loves pleasure, then it is better for you to go out from among loves seething threshold, into the seasonless world where you shall laugh , but not all of your laughter, where you shall cry but not all of your tears"

Forget all that wishy washy stuff about love , bring on the brainless bimbos looooooooooooooooool.

I think its my time to leave this topic for a while. This is starting to feel like plenty of fish looooooooool

Originally Posted by rickmahorn

How does someone who has never done a certain thing (sex) value the true meaning of it (sex) the most?

I'm sorry, but if you have no experience with something, you can't understand the 'true meaning' of it the most. I'm a heterosexual, and I would never claim to know the 'true meaning' of being a homosexual in current society, the most. I would never claim to know the 'true meaning' of how it feels to have a miscarriage as a woman, the most.

You are what i call an extrensic person, living totally for what you could feel on the outside. Those kinds of people tend to be more instinctive then most. I have nothing against that as parameciums are also instinctive. looooooooooooool and the girl i marry will be religious and that may be a turn off to u but it a total turn on to me. I like my women with a heart , soul, and mind.

Again your basing your facts about virginity on your own experience and the virgins you have probably met were insecure. The virgins i met were very secure about themselves and their virginity and would never even go near a shallow man like this.

I guess this is why we will keep perpetuating the 65% divorce rate in our society. Now i truely feel sorry for women these days and most of the men they have to pick from are probably this shallow lololol.



As far as the OP, I would have trouble dating a virgin, even at my tender age of 25. Here are a few subjective observations:

1. Virgins tend to have lower self-esteem and self-assuredness than others. I am a pretty confident guy, and I would prefer a girl who is confident as well.

2. If they are a virgin by choice, then there is no way I would want to be with them. A large portion of these people are religious, which is probably the biggest non-physical turn-off for me. Sex is a crucial part of intimacy, for me, in a relationship. Plus, sex is just fun .

3. The whole inexperience issue.

4. The "waiting for someone special" issue. I don't want to be that 'someone special'. I don't want to worry that once I have sex with you, that you will cling to me because I was your 'special' first.

5. I tend to find that virgins have these fairy-tale, wish-washy views on: life, love, sex, relationships, etc. I am more of a realist.

Example: "I can't wait to find my soul mate, then we fall in love and get married! We will start a big family and live happily ever after! Then once we die, we will go to heaven and be reunited there! I love God!"

I don't believe in soul mates. I don't believe in God. I think this is our one shot at life, so let's experience it the best we can. I don't understand the need for "marriage" outside of legal/financial advantages. I would rather be 'partners' instead of making it contractual. I don't need a legal document to show how committed I am to them.

Again, please note that these are subjective observations, and not supposed to be objective arguments.

[Rosey1234]

Hi, well he should not feel bad because i am not a lesbian and i am pretty and hispanic woman and i am 42 yrs old, and i was seeing a guy that was 28 he said he was a virgin also we were happy but then he was acting strange and to make a long story short he stopped all communication from me not even a goodbye.

[John McClane]

Hey everyone I have a friend who is in his mid 30s. He is a handsome guy with a good work ethic. He has a great personality-a little shy though. The only thing is he has been having problems dating. He is saving himself for that someone special. He says he is a virgin Yeah believe it. And he says the problem is that most women do not want to be with him because he has no experience... For argument sake lets assume my friend is really telling the truth about his virginity and that he is not gay. He asked me if I would date a guy in his situation. I had never thought about that before so I wanted to know from the ladies and guys u r free to comment as well: Would u prefer to be with a man who has had previous experience or one with no experience at all?

A handsome guy who has a problem getting laid is an oxymoron. Only ugly guys with little money do not get laid.

[ilovebdj]

Originally Posted by John McClane

A handsome guy who has a problem getting laid is an oxymoron. Only ugly guys with little money do not get laid.

...was staring blankly at the computer screen, then you came and stole my words. Thank you.

[sarahkate_m]

Originally Posted by sun queen

Hey everyone I have a friend who is in his mid 30s. He is a handsome guy with a good work ethic. He has a great personality-a little shy though. The only thing is he has been having problems dating. He is saving himself for that someone special. He says he is a virgin Yeah believe it. And he says the problem is that most women do not want to be with him because he has no experience... For argument sake lets assume my friend is really telling the truth about his virginity and that he is not gay. He asked me if I would date a guy in his situation. I had never thought about that before so I wanted to know from the ladies and guys u r free to comment as well: Would u prefer to be with a man who has had previous experience or one with no experience at all?

I discovered that a man who I went across the country to meet could barely kiss. And he bit his nails. Great job & family, smart. Engineer type. No chemistry offline. We're still friends, though. Just friends. No bennies. He's engaged now.

[sarahkate_m]

Originally Posted by ilovebdj

...was staring blankly at the computer screen, then you came and stole my words. Thank you.

Not true! I think introverts have the worst time in that department. Even an ugly guy can have chemistry, charm & be extroverted enough to get some romantic attention.

[Skyscrapercrazy]

Being almost 40 and not having any sexual experience is not very good in my opinion. Those people that are waiting for the «special one» might end up having to wait forever. They have far too high expectations regarding the first person they have sex with and mix romance with mere physical attraction. Then they get dumped and it's like the end of the world.

You don't get STDs and unwanted pregnancies though. But thinking that you are keeping yourself for a person that will be your soulmate forever is pretty naive nowadays.

Speaking for myself, I would never take a woman's virginity.

[Indurain]

I find it surprising that there are some men here, who appear to have never engaged in any sexual activity of any kind (or else I am reading their posts incorrectly).

The definition of male virginity, for me, is someone who has never engaged in sexual intercourse ie has inserted ones penis in to a womans vagina.
(apologies for the use of direct language).
That is the definition of a male virgin.

I have no difficulty in understanding that some men may be virgins - given this definition.
That is their decision and I respect that decision.

But one can do plenty of other sexual stuff - and be experienced - outside of the definition above, too.
Without compromising their virginity.

As a man, i find it difficult to understand how some men have absolutely no wish or desire to engage in sexual activity of any kind.
It just doesn't make sense to me.