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First of all, YOU NEED TO GET A GRIP!! Why would you give your daughter to your ex? Because you think you can't get a man? Your child is less important than an unknown man? When your daughter grows up and asks you why you gave custody to her dad, you can say. The future men in my life were MORE IMPORTANT!
You'll also notice that women will have their longest relationships with the ones they think are the biggest jerks, or even abusive ones, because there's more drama involved. "Decent guys" are boring to the average woman.
Hi betamanlet,
I am sure there are some nice girls out there who do not have "conventional" attractive qualities. No one need be single if they lower their standards. Perhaps you don't go after the nicest girls?
Oh, and from an evolutionary perspective, constant whining attracts predators and frightens away prey. Women rejoice to have barren wombs in rocky nutrient poor landscapes filled with crying men.
Oh goodness that was certainly far from my situation! My ex was basically a controlling selfish jerk that felt that the world should revolve around him. He never made a move to do better, job-wise, until we split up and he had no more meal-ticket to rely on. He has even told me...he never would have made it where he was today, if I had stayed with him and not given him the push he needed. Of course, he's since fallen on hard times with this economy, and though I feel bad for him, he's still the same self-centered control freak that he always was. I was better off the very day I moved into my own home. We simply were not meant to be. He may be a good catch for a different woman than I (he has remarried and they seem far better suited) but I never for a minute wondered "why".
I question how women end up long term with men that are self centered controlling jerks....what about the glorious 100 page checklist that women have? Doesn't it include no long term relationships with selfish control freaks? Women can have a height requirement and a bachelors degree requirement but they don't have a no selfish controlling jerks requirement?
Meanwhile there's guys out there that can't get a second date or make it to first base with a multitude of women...these are the guys that "aren't" selfish control freaks but women will write them off for not matching their college education requirement or their height requirement. Face it women today have no idea how to pick their men, then amazingly they initiate the majority of divorces.
I question how women end up long term with men that are self centered controlling jerks....what about the glorious 100 page checklist that women have? Doesn't it include no long term relationships with selfish control freaks? Women can have a height requirement and a bachelors degree requirement but they don't have a no selfish controlling jerks requirement?
Meanwhile there's guys out there that can't get a second date or make it to first base with a multitude of women...these are the guys that "aren't" selfish control freaks but women will write them off for not matching their college education requirement or their height requirement. Face it women today have no idea how to pick their men, then amazingly they initiate the majority of divorces.
You'll also notice, that in most cases, if a woman is with an abusive or controlling guy, those will be the LONGEST relationships she has. The guys she has less complaints about, will be the shortest relationships.
It comes down to drama. The more drama in the relationship, the longer it lasts. Are there women that don't require drama? Yes, but they are quite rare.
I question how women end up long term with men that are self centered controlling jerks....what about the glorious 100 page checklist that women have? Doesn't it include no long term relationships with selfish control freaks? Women can have a height requirement and a bachelors degree requirement but they don't have a no selfish controlling jerks requirement?
Meanwhile there's guys out there that can't get a second date or make it to first base with a multitude of women...these are the guys that "aren't" selfish control freaks but women will write them off for not matching their college education requirement or their height requirement. Face it women today have no idea how to pick their men, then amazingly they initiate the majority of divorces.
Because during the dating phase and even into the first few years of marriage, people have their best foot forward and are on their best behavior. Some even down right decptive. You never really know a person until you have lived with them for awhile. Not only that, but people change over time. After investing years in a marriage and possibly having kids, it is just not so easy to walk out. There are considerations, and usually changes in behavior and personality are gradual so a person will look over little changes until it becomes too big. Its really not that hard to comprehend.
Really no different than the men that end up with lazy "gold diggers", or naggs or wives that get fat and slovenly or wont have sex with them because they blew off the other women that didnt meet their height/weight, boob size, number of sexual experiences, hair length, no kids requirements.
Probably because he has threatened her life or family if she tries to leave.
And you know this as a fact how?
When you hear women say "I know I can change him!" does that come after the threat to her or her family? or could it just possibly be able the drama/challenge he presents that keeps her interest in keeping the relationship going?
I question how women end up long term with men that are self centered controlling jerks....what about the glorious 100 page checklist that women have? Doesn't it include no long term relationships with selfish control freaks? Women can have a height requirement and a bachelors degree requirement but they don't have a no selfish controlling jerks requirement?
Meanwhile there's guys out there that can't get a second date or make it to first base with a multitude of women...these are the guys that "aren't" selfish control freaks but women will write them off for not matching their college education requirement or their height requirement. Face it women today have no idea how to pick their men, then amazingly they initiate the majority of divorces.
Where do you get these "glorious 100 page checklists" from? I've never known a single woman that has one. If you ASK me what height I prefer I'm gonna tell you I prefer them tall. But you know what? My last BF was 6'4, my current one is only about 5'9'. So sure, if you ASK a gal what are the "top 20" things she looks for, then you'll probably get a list of 20 items. Same goes for men. But you know what? You men are the ones asking. Women generally don't ask such silly questions. There isn't a singularly specific type of man that attracts me. I'd not hesitate to say that that is true for most women, and men as well. So no matter what kind of "list" you think women carry around, generally that list is not something that they are examining for every man they meet. So get off that horse. It's lame.
My ex was certainly exhibiting his best personality traits when we started dating. But he was only 24 and we dated for many many years before we finally married. I don't think he was completely matured before that point, and I do think that it took marriage and a child to make him fully aware of his *plumage". We had already decided to split up, when we had this conversation. We were in the kitchen, and were just getting ready for bed. We both were going into the refrigerator and I made a joke about thank goodness there was milk because he would hit the ceiling if I had to leave to go get milk for in the morning. He laughed. I said.."You know, we just get along perfectly as long as everything goes exactly as you want it." And he just smiled and he said "Yup. You're right." He knew I knew him well enough that there was no denying it. But, he remarried, and he married a gal that is very domestic and not all that bright (sorry, but she isn't), and apparently needs a very strong-willed controlling personality to be with. And they work.
He acts differently around her, because she is a different catalyst than I am. This is true of many couples. I've seen it over and over again. Stop putting everyone in boxes.
We'll have to agree to disagree on this. I'm not a big fan of this modern parenting thing.
(By the by, Native Americans are group with a huge number of different tribes with their own languages and customs... lumping them all together with your horse example is offensive, kinda like saying "Chinese, Japanese, same diff, Asians I can't tell apart." I know you didn't intend it that way so consider this a gentle correction.)
Sorry about the offense.
My dad used to 'break' horses, but he did it the way some Indian taught him. He never mentioned the tribe and I got the impression that they/most had a reputation for great horsemanship, but much of that is because the horse was working with them and not just 'following instruction'. Some people have an eerie rapport with animals. My father was one, and I think that Indians, with living close to nature and observing life around them, also tapped into something special.
I don't think most people know how to differentiate Indian cultures. Is there a book, perhaps?
I have heard that some don't like the phrase 'Native American' and others don't like 'Indian'. It gets confusing.
When you hear women say "I know I can change him!" does that come after the threat to her or her family? or could it just possibly be able the drama/challenge he presents that keeps her interest in keeping the relationship going?
And you know this fact how?
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But he was only 24 and we dated for many many years before we finally married. I don't think he was completely matured before that point, and I do think that it took marriage and a child to make him fully aware of his *plumage". We had already decided to split up, when we had this conversation. We were in the kitchen, and were just getting ready for bed. We both were going into the refrigerator and I made a joke about thank goodness there was milk because he would hit the ceiling if I had to leave to go get milk for in the morning. He laughed. I said.."You know, we just get along perfectly as long as everything goes exactly as you want it." And he just smiled and he said "Yup. You're right." He knew I knew him well enough that there was no denying it. 
But, he remarried, and he married a gal that is very domestic and not all that bright (sorry, but she isn't), and apparently needs a very strong-willed controlling personality to be with. And they work. 
