Single Mothers..Are we doomed (husbands, affair, feelings, immature)
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Because Uncle Sam will pick up the slack if they don't work. (For some reason unmarried mothers are deemed "disabled" and entitled to sit on their duffs with no worries about food, shelter, etc., and be supported for doing nothing but popping out babies in this country.)
If they DO work, Uncle Sam and various states give them super generous tax returns ("Earned Income Credit," "Head of Household" filing status, etc.) that more often than not results in them getting MORE money back on their income taxes than they actually put in. I am not kidding. Someone I know works with a lot of never-married mothers and when income tax return time comes around it's usually a five-figure bonanza: entirely pay off the note on their cars, take the kids to Disney World, buy all new furniture, etc.
The government encourages people to have illegitimate children. If they are married, all the freebies are off.
Quote:
Originally Posted by I_Love_LI_but
Marriage also had a different connotation back in the day, starting with Biblical times.
It wasn't only meant to be a legal contract. It was meant to be a way of life.
When they said, "Til death do us part" they MEANT IT. Marriage was supposed to be a lifelong union.
Nowadays, it's more like "Til we get sick of each other do us part."
Answering two questions with one answer. Did you know that women are paid an average of 25% less than a man having the same studies and that after women reach a mature age they need to Find extra money so they can sustain a certain level of comfort. Take for instance that the woman worked all her life and retired at the age of 65. Women live on average up to 90 year old. 90 - 65 = 25 years. So basically a single woman needs to plan at least 25 years of salary after she retires, just imagine the cost of having a kid to take care of how much her income and even her retired years are going to suffer. Depending on her mothering skills her child may help her pass her mature years but not likely since elevated crime rate and the cost of life rising up + its Not in the American culture to take care of elders. How can I survive alone?I don't need a man (25% higher income than I do + life insurance).
Now do you get it why your lack of responsibility has just made your life a living hell.
Why do you think marriage is until we get sick of each other? People think Oh yeah I'm free again but those who end up on the loosing end are always women. Men have A new alimony law that has just been approved in Florida that if a woman or men is living with partner even if not married and the ex-husband Proves it The ex-wife will have her Child support income reduced or even suppressed. ++If the guy flees to another country the united states cannot do anything to make the guy pay alimony.++
Have you ever evaluated how expensive is a divorce? The only one who truly wins is the lawyer.
Do you really think a man Knowing all this stuff is gonna Sacrifice himself to save a single mom. (A man with education - Higher income)
I haven't embarked on the emotional issues yet. Loneliness, social pressures...etc
Answering two questions with one answer. Did you know that women are paid an average of 25% less than a man having the same studies and that after women reach a mature age they need to Find extra money so they can sustain a certain level of comfort. Take for instance that the woman worked all her life and retired at the age of 65. Women live on average up to 90 year old. 90 - 65 = 25 years. So basically a single woman needs to plan at least 25 years of salary after she retires, just imagine the cost of having a kid to take care of how much her income and even her retired years are going to suffer. Depending on her mothering skills her child may help her pass her mature years but not likely since elevated crime rate and the cost of life rising up + its Not in the American culture to take care of elders. How can I survive alone?I don't need a man (25% higher income than I do + life insurance).
Now do you get it why your lack of responsibility has just made your life a living hell.
Why do you think marriage is until we get sick of each other? People think Oh yeah I'm free again but those who end up on the loosing end are always women. Men have A new alimony law that has just been approved in Florida that if a woman or men is living with partner even if not married and the ex-husband Proves it The ex-wife will have her Child support income reduced or even suppressed. ++If the guy flees to another country the united states cannot do anything to make the guy pay alimony.++
Have you ever evaluated how expensive is a divorce? The only one who truly wins is the lawyer.
Do you really think a man Knowing all this stuff is gonna Sacrifice himself to save a single mom. (A man with education - Higher income)
I haven't embarked on the emotional issues yet. Loneliness, social pressures...etc
Let's hope the law is federally adapted for WELFARE benefits and INCOME TAX STATUSES.
As for your comment on lawyers: In most cases the only ones who truly win are the lawyers. For example, who gets the lion's share when there is a class action suit, bankruptcy, etc.? Divorce is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to that subject. Unless there are considerable assets, it is usually a waste of time to pay big lawyer's fees to get divorced anyway.
Sorry for your friend but with so many contraceptives like the condom, the emergency pill, the injections women take not to get pregnant and the abortion surgery why do women still keep their baby if they know they will not be able to raise them with the support of their husband/companion?
No wonder their desirability drops so drastically, its irresponsible to bring a kid to this world only to use him to glue the relationship.
No BC is 100%. Accidents do happen. Some do not believe in abortion or just cant go thru with it. Adoption is also difficult. Once pregnant, many people do want thier child and feel, although difficult, they can care for their child.
Even if you are married there is no guarentee your spouse will be around to help raise their child. What are you to do then. Take your kid to the orphanage because your husband left?
I think doing your best to take care of the child you created is being responsible.
No BC is 100%. Accidents do happen. Some do not believe in abortion or just cant go thru with it. Adoption is also difficult. Once pregnant, many people do want thier child and feel, although difficult, they can care for their child.
Even if you are married there is no guarentee your spouse will be around to help raise their child. What are you to do then. Take your kid to the orphanage because your husband left?
I think doing your best to take care of the child you created is being responsible.
Have you considered abstinence as an option not to get pregnant - 100% safe.
Don't confuse morality with rationality, you are responsible for every decision you take the good and the bad. I'm just informing you of the consequences of the decision you took to keep the child. By choosing to keep the child you also chose to be less desirable. The responsible thing would be to stop hating the world (men in particular) for not taking blame in your decision.
Have you considered abstinence as an option not to get pregnant - 100% safe.
Don't confuse morality with rationality, you are responsible for every decision you take the good and the bad. I'm just informing you of the consequences of the decision you took to keep the child. By choosing to keep the child you also chose to be less desirable. The responsible thing would be to stop hating the world (men in particular) for not taking blame in your decision.
Living in the real world, abstinence does not work. Never has, never will. But I suspose your theory may hold water in a make believe perfect world.
Yes, and caring for your child is taking responsibility. Now wheather it makes someone less desriable, I guess that is in the eyes of the beholder.
Not sure if you are directing your comment to me personally or if you mean every woman. Speaking for myself, I think I know the consequences of my decisions better than you. Duh. Being a single mother, perhaps I was less desriable to some but I had no problem dating, having LTRs and re marrying. So your point is lost on me.
Because Uncle Sam will pick up the slack if they don't work. (For some reason unmarried mothers are deemed "disabled" and entitled to sit on their duffs with no worries about food, shelter, etc., and be supported for doing nothing but popping out babies in this country.)
If they DO work, Uncle Sam and various states give them super generous tax returns ("Earned Income Credit," "Head of Household" filing status, etc.) that more often than not results in them getting MORE money back on their income taxes than they actually put in. I am not kidding. Someone I know works with a lot of never-married mothers and when income tax return time comes around it's usually a five-figure bonanza: entirely pay off the note on their cars, take the kids to Disney World, buy all new furniture, etc.
The government encourages people to have illegitimate children. If they are married, all the freebies are off.
Just for the record, uncle sam picks up the tab for men and married couples as well that cant or dont work. I have also seen single drug addicts on the gov. teat claiming disability. So dont limit your welfare arguement to single mothers. Married couples can also claim EIC. And divorced people can claim HH. I was qualified for HH this yr. because my adult child lived with me for 6 months while he was unemployed. There are all kinds of tax loop holes.
That being said, I do agree that it seems the gov. rewards those who have kids and cant take care of them. People need to exercise more personal responsibility. That goes for guys as well. These single mothers didnt get that way by themselves.
That's why I don't look at marriage as making it more likely that a man will be a good father. What it comes down to is the person, not whether they were married or not.
I think you're right that it ultimately comes down to the people. I'd propose, though, that people (specifically men) who get married are more likely to remain committed to a relationship and any children produced from the relationship.
Granted, there are a lot of good men and women out there handling their responsibilities despite not being married. But let's not kid ourselves and take off our post-modern romantic glasses for a minute: they are the exception rather than the rule. Just because it can be done doesn't mean that it should be done.
Just for the record, uncle sam picks up the tab for men and married couples as well that cant or dont work. I have also seen single drug addicts on the gov. teat claiming disability. So dont limit your welfare arguement to single mothers. Married couples can also claim EIC. And divorced people can claim HH. I was qualified for HH this yr. because my adult child lived with me for 6 months while he was unemployed. There are all kinds of tax loop holes.
While I don't agree with that type of disability determination, it IS a "valid" disability according to the "system." So how come when women who work get pregnant they are expected to come back to work and continue being taxpayers, yet other women make a living off becoming pregnant for years AFTER the babies are born? That is not a disability. We should come into the 21st century on this one and treat them just like if a single person with no disability tries to live off welfare ... the welfare office says go work.
Quote:
Originally Posted by 2mares
That being said, I do agree that it seems the gov. rewards those who have kids and cant take care of them. People need to exercise more personal responsibility. That goes for guys as well. These single mothers didnt get that way by themselves.
Except those who use anonymous sperm donors for artificial insemination and go on the government teat as a result ... like the Octomom (she does know who the sperm donor is, yet he hides under anonymity so he doesn't have to pay a cent and the taxpayers of the State of California pays all ... she certainly knew all the angles).
While I don't agree with that type of disability determination, it IS a "valid" disability according to the "system." So how come when women who work get pregnant they are expected to come back to work and continue being taxpayers, yet other women make a living off becoming pregnant for years AFTER the babies are born? That is not a disability. We should come into the 21st century on this one and treat them just like if a single person with no disability tries to live off welfare ... the welfare office says go work.
Except those who use anonymous sperm donors for artificial insemination and go on the government teat as a result ... like the Octomom (she does know who the sperm donor is, yet he hides under anonymity so he doesn't have to pay a cent and the taxpayers of the State of California pays all ... she certainly knew all the angles).
Obviously, the system is broken and many people abuse it. Child welfare is also "valid" according to the system. Women who work are not those who get on gov. assistance unless they find themselves temporarily in dire straights. Others have no intention of working and find if they dont practice personal responsibility, the gov. will take care of them. The latter seems to be how most ppl sterotype single mothers not giving benefit to those who work and are responsible or how they became single parents.
I dont know that the system will ever be without abusers and not sure what can be done. I know some states have taken measures like limiting the time one can be on assistance and not increasing amounts for additional children born while on assistance and offering job training and education. This cluster f was created because men were not held responsible for their bastard children (read up on bastardy and baby farming). So now you have the broken welfare system and the broken child support/services system.
Obviously, the system is broken and many people abuse it. Child welfare is also "valid" according to the system. Women who work are not those who get on gov. assistance unless they find themselves temporarily in dire straights. Others have no intention of working and find if they dont practice personal responsibility, the gov. will take care of them. The latter seems to be how most ppl sterotype single mothers not giving benefit to those who work and are responsible or how they became single parents.
I dont know that the system will ever be without abusers and not sure what can be done. I know some states have taken measures like limiting the time one can be on assistance and not increasing amounts for additional children born while on assistance and offering job training and education. This cluster f was created because men were not held responsible for their bastard children (read up on bastardy and baby farming). So now you have the broken welfare system and the broken child support/services system.
And octomom is a freak of nature.
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How can I survive alone?I don't need a man (25% higher income than I do + life insurance). 
Now do you get it why your lack of responsibility has just made your life a living hell. 
