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The terms "alpha" and "beta" are, IMHO, so very overused and cliche...forget about "alpha" and "beta", and just focus on the one you love already, and just be loving back to them (After all, the fact that that one special person in your life does love you, means that they already like and are attracted to your personality, regardless of whether you're an alpha or beta, and will care about you either way.)
damn, denny did i forget to put you back on ignore? lemme fix that real quick.
Thanks for proving my point. Those who can't defend their words tend to retreat.
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Originally Posted by samston
Confidence is taught. You even suggest it is. Confidence comes from self-acceptance, and any mental/emotional trait can be improved upon.
Where do I suggest it's taught? It's something you discover on your own. If you're the tallest person in the room or the most attractive or wealthiest and those things make you feel confident, no one taught you that.
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Originally Posted by hnsq
Be careful with confidence. It can often blind you to reality. Being confidant without stopping to ask yourself 'what if I am wrong?' continually is simply arrogance.
I agree. Many men fall into this trap. Confidence has to be balanced with humility. You can feel good about who you are, but at the same time still able to recognize that you may not be as great as you think.
To share a story, that I probably shared months ago, is what I went through when my twin-brother died. He got into his motorcycle accident. I flew to Fla. It was a lost cause. He was on life support. His left eye was open and the other swollen shut. His body was broken, brain damage, the whole thing. We take him off support. My mom, his gf, need to leave. Dad wasn't there. I stayed.
I sat with him the 8 hours it took him to die. I turned his large body from time to time so he would be comfortable. Listening to groans that broke my heart. I down-loaded a few of his favorite songs on my phone and played them for him. I sang to him. I spoke to him. I cooed and caressed him. I looked him in that open eye, face to face, the entire time and held him. I kissed his head and held his hand. I breathed in his breath for hours; his last breaths, which smelled like blood and death, with my nose touching his nose. I breathed that in. I looked him in the face when he blew out that last breath. I told him to take all the love with him. It was all very dark, old and cold. The strength and courage it took to do that was insurmountable.
I leave at 5am, share the news with mother, and return to his home. I sit in his back yard on the edge of my own sanity. I then get up, go to a park, and write his obituary. We tie up loose ends and take him back to Jersey. I then create his life poster, write his eulogy, and deliver it after not having slept for days.
So, point being. That's strength, imo. That was leading my family through this horrific event. It had nothing to do with posturing or gender. It had nothing to do with the opinions of anyone. That's the kind of, if may be so bold, REAL strength people exhibit everyday; where it's too dark to notice peac.o.c.k feathers.
I disagree. I think that men and women are different and have innately different characteristics. Everybody should have the same rights/responsibilities in society, but that shouldn't preclude men and women being different.
I think men and women are more similar than people think they are personally. Obviously there are physical differences but when it comes down to it, we all share many of the same values, thoughts and characteristics. Many of the differences are simply stereotypes reinforced by society and upbringing.
It depends how one defines differences, and generalities.
I think there are differences, even if they only are generalities. The fact that men and women are different does not mean one gender is superior to another.
The reality, is that betas are the result of feminism. Women complained that men wouldn't do domestic work, a share of it, so men got more feminized, and are "nicer" and do housework, now women are complaining that men are not manly enough which is the direct result of society feminizing men.
How dare women stand up for themselves.
And btw - I haven't ever heard a complaint from a woman thinking a guy is too helpful and sweet...
Isn't it only feminism that tries to downplay the differences in men and women?
No, it's not. I don't need feminism to tell me what things men and women have in common.
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Originally Posted by samston
Is there an example of how men and women are not different?
Yes, there is. Both men and women value their independence and don't want to feel like they need someone else in order to get by.
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Originally Posted by samston
And why any difference should be a negative thing?
Men and women are different in a lot of ways and no one is suggesting that ALL differences are negative. The problem is that some people don't want to acknowledge just how similar they really are. So they blame feminism for "brainwashing" people. IMO, feminism is the follower, not the leader. Maybe feminism came about because a lot of women AND men realized that the two genders weren't as different as they had been raised to believe.
What's apparent in this thread is that some people are threatened by changing definitions of gender roles. So they lash out feminism and society as a whole for "conditioned" men to be more "feminine". It speaks to their underlying security. Why is that a man who actually dares to cook and clean is labeled feminine? The men making this accusation ought to look at themselves and ask why it bothers them so much that other men don't conform to their narrow definition of what it means to be a man.
Isn't this a violation of the TOS, for starting the same basic thread so many times. I mean, how many ways can we discuss alpha f ing males.
He won't stop, because you guys will continue to engage him. He said, discuss without discussing his side.
Poor Poor Beta!
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(After all, the fact that that one special person in your life does love you, means that they already like and are attracted to your personality, regardless of whether you're an alpha or beta, and will care about you either way.)
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