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Oh I see. That was me talking about how upset and disappointed my wife would feel with herself if she gained 30 pounds.
OK, that bit in particular was my mistake.
Quote:
Heck, if my wife's weight went from 123 pounds where it is today to even 153 pounds (well short of the 230 plus pounds gained in the OPs example), she would be horrified, mortified, disgusted and extremely disappointed with herself and the extremely poor example she would be setting for our children.
Otherwise, all else stands - we just need to change the pounds.
Since we have been together, we have both lost a little weight. It would not bother me if he gained some weight.
I do agree that the weight gain would have to be addressed if it continued. After a certain point, it is not only a physical change, but a lifestyle and personality (self esteem, etc) change. There are ways to handle that appropriately.
Exactly. Amazing how some are shifting the blame to the husband. Unless he's tying her up and force feeding her, which I sort of doubt.
And of course it is normal for both men and women to put on pounds as they age, this situation seems rather extreme.
Point #1 I agree with, but point #2 I do not. Most weight gain due to age can be mitigated with diet and exercise. Blame shifting the weight gain onto age is just dodging personal responsibility of taking care of yourself.
Most of the weight gain people experience once they get married is just plain laziness. What's worse is when some try to downplay it by calling it "comfort weight". When they do that all they're really saying is they tricked the other person into thinking they're something they're not. "This is who I am" is the big reveal, the "I TRICKED YOU!" Women do this more than men, in fact when it comes to post marriage weight gain women gain twice as much as men on average, although it does vary by age bracket. Considering their smaller frames though even just 10 lbs translates to a significant amount of weight on a woman.
To be fair, I must admit that I have put on 25-30 pounds since the time I met my wife. Luckily, those pounds are more in muscle so I am in better shape now than back then.
To be fair, I must admit that I have put on 25-30 pounds since the time I met my wife. Luckily, those pounds are more in muscle so I am in better shape now than back then.
some weight I wouldn't mind at all, but a massive weight gain would be something to worry about, a potential health hazard and, well, I guess I would miss the times when he looked more athletic and attractive to my eyes. I wouldn't leave him for that reason, but if I thought he'd be unwilling to at least try to solve whatever problem there might be, I would have to leave eventually I'm afraid.
Point #1 I agree with, but point #2 I do not. Most weight gain due to age can be mitigated with diet and exercise. Blame shifting the weight gain onto age is just dodging personal responsibility of taking care of yourself.
Most of the weight gain people experience once they get married is just plain laziness. What's worse is when some try to downplay it by calling it "comfort weight". When they do that all they're really saying is they tricked the other person into thinking they're something they're not. "This is who I am" is the big reveal, the "I TRICKED YOU!" Women do this more than men, in fact when it comes to post marriage weight gain women gain twice as much as men on average, although it does vary by age bracket. Considering their smaller frames though even just 10 lbs translates to a significant amount of weight on a woman.
Which actually goes back to overweight and obese people knowing it and not needing a spouse getting in their face with it: They know what it feels like to huff and puff up a flight of stairs.
For every well-intentioned health nazi, there is someone itching to slap'em for their blinding flash of the obvious, and usually it's their spouse.
And I wish my resting heart rate was 62 these days. Long story there.
Well that is where I equate eating to that level of weight addict behavior. When you can't or won't stop on your own that is a problem. A junkie knows its bad to shoot up. They won't stop doing it either. And this sick thing is that not only do you have to combat your body's natural tendencies to overeat but the chemicals in food can also increase that problem.
Saying something and giving options to me is an intervention of sorts. I went nazi on him as soon as his BP went up. Zero tolerance for that. ZERO. I am a lot sweeter in your face than drolling on yourself from a stroke.
I don't see the point of just pointing it out. I don't do that. I point out better food options, exercise options, reality checks. He is just finally getting that you don't have to eat like a bird to lose weight.
And I don't think that people who have never been fat or never been thin can really know what its like to puff up those stairs. Its one of those things that you get used to or creeps on you. So by the time the damage is done you have a ton of weight to lose. Its much easier to lose 50lbs than 100 or more.
There are less habits to change, more exercise options, less damage to your health, less hunger hormones to combat on maintenance etc.
Why not save someone from more BS? I just don't see why not to. I already did all the annoying hard part, he just gets to ask questions and get results.
Point #1 I agree with, but point #2 I do not. Most weight gain due to age can be mitigated with diet and exercise. Blame shifting the weight gain onto age is just dodging personal responsibility of taking care of yourself.
Most of the weight gain people experience once they get married is just plain laziness. What's worse is when some try to downplay it by calling it "comfort weight". When they do that all they're really saying is they tricked the other person into thinking they're something they're not. "This is who I am" is the big reveal, the "I TRICKED YOU!" Women do this more than men, in fact when it comes to post marriage weight gain women gain twice as much as men on average, although it does vary by age bracket. Considering their smaller frames though even just 10 lbs translates to a significant amount of weight on a woman.
Actually that is probably because they destroyed their bodies to give birth to offspring. Every kid you have you should put on a few for a healthy baby and then with the normal hormone problems a person has it poses a problem for weight loss. It can make the body very resistant to loss. There are also health problems that come from giving birth that can make you fat. When you have kids within a 2 year span of each other it does not really give the body proper time to recover and lose. Generally weight loss comes easier for men because their bodies are designed to lose faster with exercise.
Also as you age your hormones that naturally supported your lean tissue decrease. Less lean tissue = easier to gain because of a less metabolically active system.
10 lbs is not really anything though unless you are under 5'5''. And even then if its muscle, its not anything much. I am not much taller than that and I wear the same size within a 10lb range.
My soon to be x sis inlaw went from a slim inshape girlie to over 220# at 5' 3", what caused the massive weight gain?....she became a lazy munching machine...quit work, wouldn't do housework of any kind, and ate ALL the wrong things. Oddly enough she'd chow down privately....I suppose she thought we wouldn't notice. It was painful for me to see the rolling flabs when she was dressed....she's been diagnosed with diabetes and still refuses to do what's necessary...one DR refused to work with her anymore because she wouldn't take the necessary steps to deal with her diabetes...she wanted to take a pill and continue on with her life as it was.
My brother still loved her but when the economy tanked he lost his job...8 months later she dumped him at my house saying she was trading him in for another provider...I kid you not. My brother now has a job with a pretty good income....her?...still lazy, obese, and hasn't landed a provider to prey upon yet.
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That was me talking about how upset and disappointed my wife would feel with herself if she gained 30 pounds.
