Why do people think that married people are so "busy"? (wife, marriage)

[Bass101]

I'm confused about why there is a general thought that married people are so busy? I've been married 7 years, and am in my early 30's, and I'm not busy in any way, shape, or form (just work and taking care of the house, and that's it).

When people usually make this statement they're not commenting that married people with kids are so busy (I understand how this might be the case) but more that just being married somehow makes you busy. I hear this a lot from single female friends in their late 20's/early 30's who are annoyed that their friends got married and are now "too busy" to hang out with them anymore. But what are they "too busy" doing? It seems that being married is equated with being boring and just wanting to stay at home all the time. I'm certainly not like that!

Would love to hear others' thoughts on this.

[VoyagerMan]

For me it would be work, my kid, taking care of house, food shopping, Softball, the 4 hours of sleep I get and hating my wife. The biggest reason being I work Friday and Saturday nights so my social life is shot. Anyone wanna chill on a Sunday or Monday night??? Not usually, lol.

[Braunwyn]

Originally Posted by Bass101

I'm confused about why there is a general thought that married people are so busy? I've been married 7 years, and am in my early 30's, and I'm not busy in any way, shape, or form (just work and taking care of the house, and that's it).

When people usually make this statement they're not commenting that married people with kids are so busy (I understand how this might be the case) but more that just being married somehow makes you busy. I hear this a lot from single female friends in their late 20's/early 30's who are annoyed that their friends got married and are now "too busy" to hang out with them anymore. But what are they "too busy" doing? It seems that being married is equated with being boring and just wanting to stay at home all the time. I'm certainly not like that!

Would love to hear others' thoughts on this.

I'm not that busy, but we have financial goals and I can't afford to go out. Lunch, dinners, and drinks, going to see friends in bands, etc are what my peeps are doing lately and I just won't spend the money. I'm finding marriage to be expensive.

[JustJulia]

I do think it has more to do with kids, but those without children could just be spending time together. I don’t think it's about not leaving the house--they could be going out and doing things together.

[JustJulia]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

I'm not that busy, but we have financial goals and I can't afford to go out. Lunch, dinners, and drinks, going to see friends in bands, etc are what my peeps are doing lately and I just won't spend the money. I'm finding marriage to be expensive.

Good point.

[imsh0t]

it is curious definitely. Often times its kids and money im gonna guess.

[VoyagerMan]

Originally Posted by Braunwyn

I'm not that busy, but we have financial goals and I can't afford to go out. Lunch, dinners, and drinks, going to see friends in bands, etc are what my peeps are doing lately and I just won't spend the money. I'm finding marriage to be expensive.

yes, good point. I actually choose not to spend money eating out for the most part. I feel I can use the money for things that last. I do the cooking so I know I can save a lot of money. I actually get anxiety eating out because I feel like it's a waste of money. I don't mind every once in a while though.

[Mooseketeer]

I have been always been busy. I was busy as a teenager and am now still . I think most people who are "too" busy though tend to be people with kids.

We are child-free and always on the go because we chose to be that way. I have always needed to do things so Hubby and I have really active diaries, we volunteer for local and National charities, are politically and socially active ( lobbying politicians, attending and helping to organise various protests etc... ), we go to the theatre, cinema, opera, concerts , museums, art galleries etc... a lot, we love going our for dinner, have started Archery recently , will see friends, and anytime there is a "taster" for something new we will often try it out.

In summer we will go punting or rowing on the river, have picnics, we love travelling ( which takes a lot of organising) , do home exchanges ( also a lot of organising), and I need my house to be clean so that takes time too. Being disabled and having poor health does make all this a challenge.

I find being at home, soul destroying and boring personally. I suffer from an incurable condition called "wanderlust-itis" and get bored very, very easily. I am stuck at home during the day , most days and I do not like it one bit. Not being a couch potato is a great disadvantage in life if your circumstances force you to be spending a lot of time in one place.


So as a married couple, yes we are pretty busy . But it is a choice. Time management is a challenge but I believe it is possible to juggle many things if one is reasonably efficient.


Having kids makes it even more challenging but I do know parents who still enjoy a full social life and involve their kids in many of their own activities too ( including travelling).

[cpg35223]

Depends on a lot of factors. If you are a two income family with more than one child, then you are uber busy. All. The. Damned. Time.

When my wife and I first married, we both had pretty demanding jobs (We still do. I just work for myself, and my boss is a slave-driving bastard) that required us to pull extra hours, travel, etc. My wife was on the road at least 50% of the time and I had a job with a huge amount of overtime, weekends, etc. So a lot of it depends if you have people who are really pushing themselves to establish themselves in their career.

[pkrplr1]

Originally Posted by Bass101

I'm confused about why there is a general thought that married people are so busy? I've been married 7 years, and am in my early 30's, and I'm not busy in any way, shape, or form (just work and taking care of the house, and that's it).

When people usually make this statement they're not commenting that married people with kids are so busy (I understand how this might be the case) but more that just being married somehow makes you busy. I hear this a lot from single female friends in their late 20's/early 30's who are annoyed that their friends got married and are now "too busy" to hang out with them anymore. But what are they "too busy" doing? It seems that being married is equated with being boring and just wanting to stay at home all the time. I'm certainly not like that!

Would love to hear others' thoughts on this.

i'll agree with the others here. it's not so much the marriage but the things that come along with marriage. kids, increased financial responsabilities, plus a bunch of in-laws that want to get together now too on top of your own family. the older i get the busier i get although i think that'll change eventually.