Sex & The Double Standard for Women (dating, older, kiss)

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Hey y'all, I've been avoiding the relationships board for awhile, mostly because I haven't had a lot of romantic interests going on in my personal life but I have new news: to make a long story short, I let this guy I've been dating touch me down there for the first time last night, no clothes were off, just my panties...I told him I didn't want to be just a "fling" for him & he told me that he wanted me for more than that, we've been talking since November & I feel like he was honest & that I can be myself around him...I just didn't want to feel slutty. That's all that's happened, the most we've done is kiss/make out. No other fooling around, etc. etc. He's 10 yrs older than I am & much more experienced & comfortable with exploring his sexuality than I am (I'm in my early '20s, he's in his early '30s) & he says he knows women have needs/desires too & he's not judging me for it...he's kind of a liberal guy, & I'm somewhat traditional (even though letting him feel me up wasn't a "nice girl" thing to do) Was it slutty/wrong of me that I let him touch me & he fondled my breasts (albeit clothed) a little bit? & do you think he really doesn't believe in the double standard for women?

[Mr. Humble]

This is not to be hurtful or facetious even, but is this how a lot of 23 yr. old girls think today? Are most women your age virgins? I really just don't know.

[max's mama]

Oh my gosh. You are such a ****.

Kidding!!!!

Look, you are a grown woman and you can do whatever you want with your body. I understand that you are worried about looking "bad" to a guy, but this kind of insecurity is not very appealing. I'm guessing it comes from lack of experience and being shy by nature, correct me if I'm wrong.

Evaluate your relationship with the guy, see how much you like him and then proceed accordingly. However, once you make a decision to let him please you, do it with confidence and no regrets. The last thing a guy wants to hear while he is fondling you is "Oh my gosh, don't think bad of me...i'm really not that type of girl, please don't use me, don't use me". Otherwise, it's better to not do it at all.

I'm guessing that he is old enough and experienced enough not to play games and judge you by your actions.

PS: not to mention that there is nothing wrong with your actions whatsoever.

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Originally Posted by Mr. Humble

This is not to be hurtful or facetious even, but is this how a lot of 23 yr. old girls think today? Are most women your age virgins? I really just don't know.

I'll be 23 soon, I'm still 22. Given my background, I've always been a "late bloomer" when it comes to things like this. Plenty of my friends are "faster" than I am when it comes to sexual stuff. So, I don't get what you're asking really?

[Mr. Humble]

Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra

I'll be 23 soon, I'm still 22. Given my background, I've always been a "late bloomer" when it comes to things like this. Plenty of my friends are "faster" than I am when it comes to sexual stuff. So, I don't get what you're asking really?

Just surprised, that's all. You seem very young for your age. I'm not saying it's bad or passing judgment at all, and it's not that you're a virgin that caught me off guard, but it's just the way you seem, very sheltered, I guess is the right word. Again, not disparaging; you have plenty of time to get old and jaded.. like the rest of us.

[donie1]

Originally Posted by Chanteuse d' Opéra

Hey y'all, I've been avoiding the relationships board for awhile, mostly because I haven't had a lot of romantic interests going on in my personal life but I have new news: to make a long story short, I let this guy I've been dating touch me down there for the first time last night, no clothes were off, just my panties...I told him I didn't want to be just a "fling" for him & he told me that he wanted me for more than that, we've been talking since November & I feel like he was honest & that I can be myself around him...I just didn't want to feel slutty. That's all that's happened, the most we've done is kiss/make out. No other fooling around, etc. etc. He's 10 yrs older than I am & much more experienced & comfortable with exploring his sexuality than I am (I'm in my early '20s, he's in his early '30s) & he says he knows women have needs/desires too & he's not judging me for it...he's kind of a liberal guy, & I'm somewhat traditional (even though letting him feel me up wasn't a "nice girl" thing to do) Was it slutty/wrong of me that I let him touch me & he fondled my breasts (albeit clothed) a little bit? & do you think he really doesn't believe in the double standard for women?

You're human and you're doing fine. No sluttiness at all. You're taking it slow and you've got a guy that is understanding. Sounds good to me.

[donie1]

Originally Posted by Mr. Humble

Just surprised, that's all. You seem very young for your age. I'm not saying it's bad or passing judgment at all, and it's not that you're a virgin that caught me off guard, but it's just the way you seem, very sheltered, I guess is the right word. Again, not disparaging; you have plenty of time to get old and jaded.. like the rest of us.

Well, Mr. Humble, there are more virgins both girls and boys then what the media will have you think. There are quite a bit of them out there.

[CarolVa1977]

Read his actions, not his words.

[suedonym]

only you will know how far to go and when. as long as he respects those boundaries and doesnt try to pressure you into something before youre ready for it, youll be fine.

[Chanteuse d' Opéra]

Originally Posted by CarolVa1977

Read his actions, not his words.

Yeah, I was trying to do that last night. It was difficult though when 2 people are in "heat" so to speak, Lol.