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i dont lie. if it did not happen i would not say it. but people hear and see just what they want to.
I'm not saying you're lying. I think you believe that you were/are smarter. I don't believe you even have an intelligence measure in mind, tho, when making the statement. Smarter how? Socially smarter? No way. That's just evidenced by your communications here. You're a bit socially inept. Technically, as in expertise in a given area, smarter? Please give some specific examples then. The challenges of a given role? Again, I'll ask for examples. People always think they're smarter than their sups. People tend to think they're smarter than they really are in general. It's called the above average effect and 95% of the time people who think they're smarter (compared to their superiors) tend to be below average. Unskilled and Unaware of It • Damn Interesting
No - I don't think that every woman has more emotions and hips than every man. Some of my gay friends are way more emotional than me and I've seen some women with no hips and some men with more hips. However - being overly emotional is more predominant in women and hips are more predominant in women. Hips are not a socially constructed illusion. Women are the ones who bear children. That is not a socially constructed illusion. It's biology.
I feel like some people want to see all people as gender neutral. That's fine if that's how they want to look at things. I'm a woman. I'm proud to be a woman. I love being a woman. And I love men who love being men. I'm not saying that men can't cry and that women can't have careers. We are all free to be who we want to be - regardless of gender. But I happen to be a very feminine woman - and I embrace that. All the men on here that want women that are more like men - that's fine. There are women out there like that. It's all about finding the person that makes you happy.
This seems a little contradictory. I may have hobbies that are generally relegated to 'men' but I don't consider myself any less feminine for it. Does that mean while doing a quick service on a plane I absolutely must wear pink high heels and a mini skirt? Gotta be a girl!
I think there are many different types of men and women and we shouldn't be ashamed if we don't fit in perfectly with societies gender roles. I stopped working on cars for quite a while because I kept getting made fun of for being a 'dyke' and a 'man', then I realized I stopped doing something I love because apparently men didn't think it was feminine enough.
I'm a woman, not a man and I'm very happy for it, but I'm not going to stop my hobbies or alter my behavior because what I'm doing IS feminine. I'm a female, these are my hobbies and interests, therefore they're feminine.
I'm not saying you're lying. I think you believe that you were/are smarter. I don't believe you even have an intelligence measure in mind, tho, when making the statement. Smarter how? Socially smarter? No way. That's just evidenced by your communications here. You're a bit socially inept. Technically, as in expertise in a given area, smarter? Please give some specific examples then. The challenges of a given role? Again, I'll ask for examples. People always think they're smarter than their sups. People tend to think they're smarter than they really are in general. It's called the above average effect and 95% of the time people who think they're smarter (compared to their superiors) tend to be below average. Unskilled and Unaware of It • Damn Interesting
didn think i was smart, was repeatedly told i was, by those who knew and were in a position to say. in the end in fact i was, my bosses didnt manage their lives or finances very well i came out way ahead of them. their job performance was so so, unlike my own. . but to the ego maniac in a position of power this is all nonsense. the bumbling boss and the competent worker, the peter principle, has not changed. the gender roles have only reversed in 50 years. as to your attempts to evaluate who and what i am, with no knowledge at all of either, is this female intuition ???? you "knew" who and what i am??? tell me, on the job did you just sort of intuitively "know" things and act on them and issue opinions w/o bothering to ever check out the facts?
OMG is that you Julie???
Last edited by Huckleberry3911948; 07-31-2012 at 01:16 AM..
This seems a little contradictory. I may have hobbies that are generally relegated to 'men' but I don't consider myself any less feminine for it. Does that mean while doing a quick service on a plane I absolutely must wear pink high heels and a mini skirt? Gotta be a girl!
I think there are many different types of men and women and we shouldn't be ashamed if we don't fit in perfectly with societies gender roles. I stopped working on cars for quite a while because I kept getting made fun of for being a 'dyke' and a 'man', then I realized I stopped doing something I love because apparently men didn't think it was feminine enough.
I'm a woman, not a man and I'm very happy for it, but I'm not going to stop my hobbies or alter my behavior because what I'm doing IS feminine. I'm a female, these are my hobbies and interests, therefore they're feminine.
It's not contradictory at all. I love being a woman. It sounds like you love being a woman, too. I don't wear pink frilly skirts all the time. But I embrace my curves. I embrace my sensitivity. I embrace my nurturing side. Fixing cars doesn't make you less feminine. I'm not saying that anyone should be ashamed of not fitting in exactly with societies gender roles. I'm saying that the men on this forum should quit whining that women aren't more like men. They keep saying that since we can now vote and have jobs that we should also act like men in every single way. And I'm saying that being recognized as an equal citizen and how you choose to live your love life are 2 separate things. If a woman wants to be the one to ask a guy out, pay for dinner, open doors for him, hold his coat for him to put on, make the first move, propose marriage, be the bread winner, etc. - that's totally fine. She has the freedom to do so. If that's how she wants to live her love life - that's fine. But to FORCE women to assume that role if it is not in their nature is STUPID. That is what is so infuriating about the men on here who can do nothing but whine about how women wanted equal rights so now they have to act exactly like men in every single way. It's STUPID.
To put it plainly, it's about sex. Women want and need to feel desirable. Taking the lead, asking a man out, etc. doesn't make a woman feel desirable or sexy.
The end.
P.S. The most common sexual fantasy for women is to be "taken" and ravaged by a big, strong man who finds her irresistible.
It's not contradictory at all. I love being a woman. It sounds like you love being a woman, too. I don't wear pink frilly skirts all the time. But I embrace my curves. I embrace my sensitivity. I embrace my nurturing side. Fixing cars doesn't make you less feminine. I'm not saying that anyone should be ashamed of not fitting in exactly with societies gender roles. I'm saying that the men on this forum should quit whining that women aren't more like men. They keep saying that since we can now vote and have jobs that we should also act like men in every single way. And I'm saying that being recognized as an equal citizen and how you choose to live your love life are 2 separate things. If a woman wants to be the one to ask a guy out, pay for dinner, open doors for him, hold his coat for him to put on, make the first move, propose marriage, be the bread winner, etc. - that's totally fine. She has the freedom to do so. If that's how she wants to live her love life - that's fine. But to FORCE women to assume that role if it is not in their nature is STUPID. That is what is so infuriating about the men on here who can do nothing but whine about how women wanted equal rights so now they have to act exactly like men in every single way. It's STUPID.
Well said, Dewdrop I completely agree with you. For whatever reason, the lines between equality and gender differences are getting washed away, and those two are completely seperate topics. Pretty much everyone believes that its great that women can be independent, have the right to vote and have equal opportunities in the workplace, but it doesnt mean that men all of a sudden prefer a masculine woman. Men are still attracted to feminine women and women are still attracted to masculine men. That will never change, thankfuly. When I mention femininity and masculinity, I dont mean in a sense of outward appearances but more as internal character traits that define each gender.
didn think i was smart, was repeatedly told i was, by those who knew and were in a position to say. in the end in fact i was, my bosses didnt manage their lives or finances very well i came out way ahead of them. their job performance was so so, unlike my own. . but to the ego maniac in a position of power this is all nonsense. the bumbling boss and the competent worker, the peter principle, has not changed. the gender roles have only reversed in 50 years. as to your attempts to evaluate who and what i am, with no knowledge at all of either, is this female intuition ???? you "knew" who and what i am??? tell me, on the job did you just sort of intuitively "know" things and act on them and issue opinions w/o bothering to ever check out the facts?
OMG is that you Julie???
Intuition? No. I assess you by your posts here on CD. There is nothing in your posts (content, depth, structure) that lends to your assertions of you having superior intellect over a superior. I often find you to be irrational. Beyond that, I rarely buy stories from people online who cry about the arrival of superiors via EO or AA.
Women want equality when it comes to certain things, but not others.
Hmm... This post is very enlightening to me. The thing is - civil rights is about equality. Relationships are not. Now, although my husband and I consider each other equal in the relationship - our relationship is not split down the middle. We are not equal in every way. Our relationship is not based on "being equal." Our relationship is based on love, trust, communication, humor, and a bunch of other things - but not equality. He makes more money than I do. I do more house work. He fixes things around the house. I do all the planning. Does everything even out? i don't know and I don't care. We do what works for us. We communicate, we compromise, we figure things out as they come along. I do nice things for him - not because I want him to do nice things for me so that things will equal out- but because I love him and I love making him happy. Same with him. When we were dating and getting to know each other - we went out, we asked questions, we laughed, we had fun, we did lots of things. We didn't make a spreadsheet of who paid for what, who asked who out how many times, who opened how many doors, who called who how many times, etc. We fell in love. And now we are still in love and still making things work. And it's not about equality. If that's all you are looking for - then best of luck to you. But all things are not equal in love - nor should they be - nor should you care.
Hmm... This post is very enlightening to me. The thing is - civil rights is about equality. Relationships are not. Now, although my husband and I consider each other equal in the relationship - our relationship is not split down the middle. We are not equal in every way. Our relationship is not based on "being equal." Our relationship is based on love, trust, communication, humor, and a bunch of other things - but not equality. He makes more money than I do. I do more house work. He fixes things around the house. I do all the planning. Does everything even out? i don't know and I don't care. We do what works for us. We communicate, we compromise, we figure things out as they come along. I do nice things for him - not because I want him to do nice things for me so that things will equal out- but because I love him and I love making him happy. Same with him. When we were dating and getting to know each other - we went out, we asked questions, we laughed, we had fun, we did lots of things. We didn't make a spreadsheet of who paid for what, who asked who out how many times, who opened how many doors, who called who how many times, etc. We fell in love. And now we are still in love and still making things work. And it's not about equality. If that's all you are looking for - then best of luck to you. But all things are not equal in love - nor should they be - nor should you care.
Great effort with much wisdom
If only some of these whiners actually wanted to really learn something on this forum
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