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OK OP, I asked my husband's opinion on this matter to get a more objective response for you. He said that he would be fine if some guy came and cried on my shoulder complaining about his ex-gf or gf. But not if he started escalating things emotionally and saying stuff like, "oh you are the only person that understands me... my gf doesn't understand me like you do... we should hang out and get a drink sometime." Then it would get kind of creepy. From your description it sounds like you just play WoW and chat on the internet but if it ends up becoming a bit more then you should probably be careful.
My hubby has met my friend but has chosen to not like him for some reason I have assured him that our friendship has always been platonic, but he says he doesn't trust my friend or his intentions. I am more hurt by the fact that he doesn't trust me. I have never and would never meet my friend alone. Now he is paranoid about emails, facebook and WoW!
You should tell you friend that you can't have contact until things are resolved. Your husband not willing to talk to you is not resolving anything. If you husband has trouble with only this one person, it can be fixed. If you husband has trouble with ALL or most other men, you might be a big problem.
I reconnected with a former girlfriend (from 25 years ago, who is single) and my wife of 8 years had a problem. My wife met her, we went to chuch with her and her family and my wife went to her house for a party once. We also buy cookies from her daughter. I still have to be respectful but my wife knows everything is OK. Everytime I have contact with her online, I let my wife know and she and never meet alone.
Here is a VERY easy, simple solution. Ask your "friend" if he has romantic feelings for you.
I had a similar situation, but my husband was NOT jealous. He was friends with the guy as well. In fact, it was his best friend. But I was getting a weird feeling from the guy and I asked him point-blank one time. "Are you in love with me?" and he answered yes.
Of course, I told my husband and he and I severed all contact with our ex-friend. I still carry around residual anger over the whole thing. He was USING our so-called friendship in an effort to try to destroy my family.
I'm not saying that all single guys that develop a friendship with a married woman are up to no good. I don't think that was my friend's intent. But humans are fragile, imperfect creatures. Things happen, our emotions take over.
The key is to NOT put yourself in a situation where this COULD happen.
I've been married for 5 years to my husband. We have had no real issues with our relationship until now.
I recently got back in touch with a male friend that I knew way before I knew my husband. He's a guitarist in a fairly successful local band and I would always go to his shows. We became good friends and confided in one another, although it was never "romantic" and purely platonic. I lost touch with this guy just after I got married, but thanks to Facebook, I found him. Now we also play World Of Warcraft together, as we are both game nerds.
Now we email one another and my friend actually confided in me and told me about how some girl had f'd him over. We spoke for over and hour and I did the right thing and told my hubby, but he didn't say much.
The problem is that my hubby clearly is uncomfortable with my male friend. He told me the other day that he is fine with me having male friends, as long as he trusts them and knows them (????). He doesn't like this particular male friend because he feels inferior to him as he knows I like music and creativity, while my hubby isn't musical. I keep telling him that he has nothing to worry about and that I'd never meet my friend alone without him, but he is now paranoid about us emailing one another and for some reason is upset that my friend confided in me about his personal problems.
We had a massive argument yesterday with him saying "Sorry I don't have any musical talent" and storming off. I don't want to ditch my friend, but what should I do? My husband doesn't like him, but he won't tell me outright to cease contact with this person. Most of the friendship is just over email and World Of Warcraft. I am beside myself as to why he is acting like such a jerk, knowing that I have few friends.
Thank you for listening.
It's not my place to tell you what to do or not do, but please consider your husband's feelings on the subject.
If he were to re-connect with an old girlfriend and spend any amount of time with her, would you be OK with that?
Plus, for a married person to be spending time with an ex-flame is to be playing with fire. How many times have you heard of people who end up cheating on their spouses and then swear they never meant for it to happen? Seems to be a common thing......
IMHO, this type of situation is exactly what is being referenced in the "forsaking all others" part of the marriage vows......
Why is the "voice of reason" only someone who agrees with you?
we are all just over-reacting, she just wants someone to validate her treacherous behavior
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