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Why should I have to choose? If I ditch my friend, nothing is solved and the same will happen again if I befriend another man.
Marriage involves sacrifice and give-and-take. If you love your husband, you'll choose him over this other dude (and any other guy that comes along wanting to be your bud). Bottom line is, your husband has a problem with this friendship and you love your husband, right? So stop the friendship.
ETA: Ask yourself why this friendship is so important? This guy must be filling some sort of void in your life that your husband isn't. Is it just the WoW and the music? Then perhaps you could find a female friend to do these things with.
The fact that 99% of all posters here side with your husband should be a wake up call for you.
Yet you persist in digging in your heels like a little child who wants what they want when they want it
Make an appt with a marriage counselor ASAP. Maybe THEY can get thru to you when none of the rest of us (including your husband) can.
To so totally disregard your husband and his feelings speaks volumes about your lack of committment to him. I hope for his sake you open your eyes and work on that.
Please, please, please, reread this post again.
Your ego and self centeredness has gotten the best of you and will be the ruination of your marriage.
Now, maybe that's what you really want (I am strongly beginning to suspect this), but if you don't want to be divorced you would be wise to follow the good advice given to you on this thread.
As for me, I can't waste any more energy on trying to help someone who clearly only wants what they want and damn the consequences to the person she's supposed to love, respect and protect over all others in this world.
Your ego and self centeredness has gotten the best of you and will be the ruination of your marriage.
Now, maybe that's what you really want (I am strongly beginning to suspect this), but if you don't want to be divorced you would be wise to follow the good advice given to you on this thread.
As for me, I can't waste any more energy on trying to help someone who clearly only wants what they want and damn the consequences to the person she's supposed to love, respect and protect over all others in this world.
If I were in her shoes and I LOVED my husband and 99.9 % of posters advised me to END this friendship because my husband ( I am not married in real life-just giving example ) was HURT and VERY UPSET ...then...
I would move Heavens and the Earth and LISTEN to the posters and come to an obvious conclusion.!
OP you are clearly on here for validation not advice, so do what you want, but don't be suprised if you become another statistic
Yup. She's not here to hear whats right, she's just trying to get a few people to tell her it's ok. That way she can have her emotional and/or physical affair with less guilt.
If I were in her shoes and I LOVED my husband and 99.9 % of posters advised me to END this friendship because my husband ( I am not married in real life-just giving example ) was HURT and VERY UPSET ...then...
I would move Heavens and the Earth and LISTEN to the posters and come to an obvious conclusion.!
It seems logical ....
ahh but she already decided what she is going to do BEFORE she even posted here, she is just looking for: "you go girl, keep the friend, its your husbands problem not yours" But she isnt getting that reaction, and so keeps trying to defend her position hoping someone..anyone... backs her up.
Anyway, I am not cheating and I love my husband very much, but I still don't see why I need to give up my friend. I tried talking to my husband about it on tuesday, but he flat out doesn't seem to want to talk about it and he freezes up when I so much as mention my friends name. If he won't even talk about it, how can we even resolve the problem when he just goes quiet and mopes around? I have suggested inviting my friend over when my husband is there, or going to one of my friends shows. He dodges the issue always and never seems interested, so what am I supposed to do?
I view my friend as a little brother nothing more.
Who do you love more? Your husband or your "little brother"? I know you say he's just a friend, but never say never. Right now you're emmotionally involved w/ this guy and it hurts your husband. Unfortunately, there are times human nature doesn't permit us to have friends of the opposite sex without alot of drama. Most times it doesn't work not because there is something wrong in the relationship or marriage, but more times than not a undercurrent of flirtations or sexual atmosphere even if its subtle. You may say he's just a friend, but to him there may be a little wondering about you and what you would be like, which lends itself to the possibility of temptation to arise somewhere sometime.
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmassey83
My friend never loved his ex. He lived with her and stayed with her out of obligation and because he had nowhere to go. She was stupid and gullible enough to believe that he loved her (he told me this so I'm not wrong). This was long before I knew my husband
Write a letter? Why can't he just tell me? The silence is what hurts me more. I already know that he hates my friend and the mere mention of his name, but he wants to just wish the problem away and pretend that my friend doesn't exist, despite the fact that my husband tried to dig up dirt on him to try to convince me that my friend is a bad person.
And the emmotional affair begins . . . .
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmassey83
One minute he tells me he's fine with me having male friends, then it's not fine. He wants only friends who are couples. Trust should not be an issue. He just doesn't like my friend and never has because of the musical talent insecurity thing he has going on.
Whose feelings are more important to you?
Quote:
Originally Posted by jmassey83
Why should I have to choose? If I ditch my friend, nothing is solved and the same will happen again if I befriend another man.
Looks like you're choosing your friend over your husband. Now you're wondering how he'll feel if you befriend another man? Maybe you have a bigger commitment to FB than you do to your marriage. I'm happily married, and wouldn't have any interest in looking for men on FB to befriend.
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