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One minute he tells me he's fine with me having male friends, then it's not fine. He wants only friends who are couples. Trust should not be an issue. He just doesn't like my friend and never has because of the musical talent insecurity thing he has going on.
this should not even be an issue, simply drop the friend, there is nothing more that needs to be done, trying to keep the friend = marriage problems so would you prefer to not have those marriage issues or keep the friend? its that simple.
You won't find many on these forums or in real life I would suspect that are going to back you up on this behaviour, in case thats what you were hoping for. Put you husband first, relationships are hard enough without these types of issues why make it harder? You state you don't have many friends, well too bad, this one in particular threatens your husband, so move on, there are plenty of avenues to meet new people/friends. You also stated that your husband doesnt feel threatened by anyone else in your life, you have to ask yourself 'why does he feel threatened by this particular friend'? Probably he picks up a vibe that he doesnt like, you need to respect that, he is hardly trying to prevent you from having friends, just this one.
One minute he tells me he's fine with me having male friends, then it's not fine. He wants only friends who are couples. Trust should not be an issue. He just doesn't like my friend and never has because of the musical talent insecurity thing he has going on.
He is specifically bothered by this male friend. Period.
You can choose to ignore his feelings..... or WORK on understanding him before it's too late...
My friend never loved his ex. He lived with her and stayed with her out of obligation and because he had nowhere to go. She was stupid and gullible enough to believe that he loved her (he told me this so I'm not wrong). This was long before I knew my husband
Write a letter? Why can't he just tell me? The silence is what hurts me more. I already know that he hates my friend and the mere mention of his name, but he wants to just wish the problem away and pretend that my friend doesn't exist, despite the fact that my husband tried to dig up dirt on him to try to convince me that my friend is a bad person.
Would talking to him in a non-confrontational way help? I know you said that when you tried discussing the problem, it ended with your husband walking off in a "huff". Which just makes me wonder if you belittle or insult him when this happened.
Not trying to accuse you of anything (please correct me if I'm wrong), but you have referred to your husband here as an "insecure control freak", a "jerk", has "stupid inferiority", should "get help", "childish", to list a few. Do you do this when you argue with him?
I've been married for 5 years to my husband. We have had no real issues with our relationship until now.
I recently got back in touch with a male friend that I knew way before I knew my husband. He's a guitarist in a fairly successful local band and I would always go to his shows. We became good friends and confided in one another, although it was never "romantic" and purely platonic. I lost touch with this guy just after I got married, but thanks to Facebook, I found him. Now we also play World Of Warcraft together, as we are both game nerds.
Now we email one another and my friend actually confided in me and told me about how some girl had f'd him over. We spoke for over and hour and I did the right thing and told my hubby, but he didn't say much.
The problem is that my hubby clearly is uncomfortable with my male friend. He told me the other day that he is fine with me having male friends, as long as he trusts them and knows them (????). He doesn't like this particular male friend because he feels inferior to him as he knows I like music and creativity, while my hubby isn't musical. I keep telling him that he has nothing to worry about and that I'd never meet my friend alone without him, but he is now paranoid about us emailing one another and for some reason is upset that my friend confided in me about his personal problems.
We had a massive argument yesterday with him saying "Sorry I don't have any musical talent" and storming off. I don't want to ditch my friend, but what should I do? My husband doesn't like him, but he won't tell me outright to cease contact with this person. Most of the friendship is just over email and World Of Warcraft. I am beside myself as to why he is acting like such a jerk, knowing that I have few friends.
Thank you for listening.
Have you considered asking your spouse what else you could do to make him more comfortable with your male friends? Are there any hobbies or games he could get into that may help ease his concerns and possibly develop a friendship with your other friend?
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