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This advice reminds me of the movie called: Just Go With It, with Adam Sandler and Jennifer Anniston.
In reality, not a good idea.
That's a movie... this is real life... and its a great idea... the OP should NOT get married to the first girl he "meets"... that would be a sad mistake... every relationship is based on some sort of lie, whether that relationship works is what happens when you learn the truth... the truth will always come out in the end... OP, trust me, 99% of the things said at the clubs are lies... Don't hate, cause I am only being real... you see all the people clubs, you see how happy they are? Its cause they are mostly liars while at the club... truth isn't going to get you the girls... a little alcohol will help with that...
What works... works... what doesn't work, won't... if you follow other people's advice, OP, go try it... be yourself and be honest and see how many girls will like you or you can lie about, drink a bit of alcohol to loosen yourself up and see what happens... we live in a shallow world that is getting shallower by the second... you adapt or you don't...
I just need to meet girls, simply girls. My interests don't have to coincide with theirs, as long as the girls are relatively attractive, not into the whole glamor thing and open-minded, that would do. I honestly don't need much help with girls except for the exposure, I'm fully confident in myself to flirt with a girl I'm interested in, its just meeting such potential candidates that is so difficult for me.
Hope this helps.
I feel like I'm locked in a cage here and the most pitiful part of it all is that my charming looks are wasted on a hermit like me. lol. I should probably trade skins with some social but ugly guy.
You're missing the point entirely. It's nice that you are so open-minded about the potential girl you'd like to meet, but you need to face the truth about how humans develop attraction. Having common interests is crucial. Even if you don't care about it, I guarantee you the girls do! Having something "to do" while you're meeting these girls is helpful, particularly for a self-described hermit such as yourself. I agree with your assessment that for someone of your personality type, going to a bar is likely pointless. That's good that you tried volunteering, and I wouldn't stop. I would also pick 2-3 new activities that you can get involved in. Maybe you choose a co-ed hiking club, a cooking class and joining a choir (maybe at your church.)
Dating is a numbers game and you need to increase your numbers if you want to increase your odds. Additionally, if you have issues socially, then even if you don't meet Mrs. Right at one of these activities, you will be able to practice socializing. It's a skill, learn-able, no matter if you're naturally gifted or not. Also, you'll have more interesting things to talk about.
Now, what are your interests and what areas do you think you could get interested in? If they're all heavily male-dominated, think about diversifying. Where to meet the girls? That's a tough one. If you're a hermit, then likely you're looking for a hermit girl. Problem is, she's likely sitting at home too. That's why you need to meet more people through shared activities, broaden your network.
The key here is to not go out looking to find women, you will fail every time with that as a goal.
Women/girls are out with their girlfriends having fun. They meet men/boys that are having fun. Why? because we enjoy fun people.
I found myself single and with few single friends when my wife left me in 1989. I took up scuba, took classes and joined a couple scuba clubs. You have to start doing something you enjoy and submerge yourself in it. After awhile you realize you are having fun and you will attract someone. Most of all be yourself. Do not go to church to meet women if you do not like church. Same with bars, when it comes down later anyone you meet at a bar will want to keep returning to the bar.
I met my wife at the county fair in 1993. We married in 2001. I was at the fair with a couple friends, my friend ran into his girlfriend and her friends. The attraction was immediate, we were both watching some couple making out on the Ferris wheel. She asked what was up, I said I keep wanting to hold your ass. She said “what is stopping you”. We found we had very similar sense of humor and interests.
You may want to consider drama classes or a community drama group. Even if you are not on stage there is a lot more work behind the curtain. Drama or theatre will draw out the social in you. Be aware thou that the theatre can be very loose with the sex. More swapping around than a porn at times. You will learn to play and not get too attached.
The thing about clubs is that people are usually more sociable there in contrary to other places. Yea the quality of women might not be what you are looking for, but there are actually a lot of women who go clubbing just to have a fun ladies night out. I don't think any women goes with the guy mentality of "I wanna get laid tonight", their more into just having fun.
Its a Friday night, I'm 24 and have no real friends my age to go anywhere with so I'm relegated to just sitting in my lonely apartment again surfing the web.
I've tried volunteering, going to events, etc. but still I rarely meet any eligible girls (mostly old people). I'm interested in too many unusual things most my age have zero knowledge in. So, I honestly don't know what to do anymore to meet girls...and I realize that at the rate I'm going, I'll be alone for the rest of my life unless I get out more. I've never been into the bar or club scene and don't think I'd want to meet a girl from there.
I miss having a close-knit community of people to confide with, like how it was in high school and to a lesser extent college (I was a commuter student that rarely got involved in school activities).
What are my options?
PS: I've looked into online dating sites but never found a girl from those that I'd be interested in dating.
i'm 24 and experienced the very same. get use to doing things alone, whatever satisfies u. I'd go to the bookstore alone and read, then maybe hiking, I'd chat up some girls if I see them there hiking. I was fortunate to have a neighbor who I would often take long walks with and we would talk about girls and how messed up society makes it for us, lol. U should get out though, I know its not always fun to go out by urself. I'm the biggest loner but the few relationships that do develop from time to time are powerful and sweet. If u like biking, join a bike club and bike all day. In this day and age its still the man's responsibility to innitiate with girls. Look in the mirror and see how special u are. Wear clothes that make u feel good, even if its sneakers that happen to cost a little more. I dropped out of college, being in ur same situation. Now i've adopted a goal of raeching closer and closer to having my own business with each passing year. Being single is a great time to save up some money because god knows when u do meet a girl, its gonna burn a hole in ur pocket so get ur assets together and enjoy being free and single.
Its a Friday night, I'm 24 and have no real friends my age to go anywhere with so I'm relegated to just sitting in my lonely apartment again surfing the web.
I've tried volunteering, going to events, etc. but still I rarely meet any eligible girls (mostly old people). I'm interested in too many unusual things most my age have zero knowledge in. So, I honestly don't know what to do anymore to meet girls...and I realize that at the rate I'm going, I'll be alone for the rest of my life unless I get out more. I've never been into the bar or club scene and don't think I'd want to meet a girl from there.
I miss having a close-knit community of people to confide with, like how it was in high school and to a lesser extent college (I was a commuter student that rarely got involved in school activities).
What are my options?
PS: I've looked into online dating sites but never found a girl from those that I'd be interested in dating.
You may be a late bloomer. Do you like yourself? Do you truly feel you are an interesting person and have something to offer a girl your age? Sometimes we need to like ourselves first before meeting others.
Secondly, you say you have hobbies or interests. What are they? Do you have any male friends? Any older lady friends? (you say you meet old people). Well, they have daughters, grand-daughters, nieces, sisters, friends with sisters...you get my point.
Ignore people telling you to party drunk till it's 2099...they are jealous they are old and past it. I think everyone wants to relive his or her youth and thinks they'd be cool if they had it to do over...
Sorry to say but a lone guy often comes off as "strange" so you have to try to appear normal by becoming friends first with people. What about taking a class at community college?
I think you will be fine if you relax and try to get out in the world a little. I don't know if you want to be a player or find a nice girl and settle down. Decide that and act accordingly.
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. I think everyone wants to relive his or her youth and thinks they'd be cool if they had it to do over...
